Adopted but my siblings are not...

I grew up with my bmom and adad and had three half sisters. Of course I didn't know I was adopted til 3 days ago at the age of 35. I always felt like my adad like my other sisters more, or had more in common with them or something. I could never explain the feeling I just felt like the odd man out. I think there is something to be said for a blood bond. My sisters didn't know I was adopted by my dad either when we were growing up so its not like anyone ever made any comments. It was just a feeling that I couldn't explain. I just always told myself he didn't like me as much.I don't think the feeling ever goes away though. Now that I know I was adopted I still have the same feeling. I can explain it now though. I know "why".

i, too, had siblings who were all related and i was not.my 4 older bothers were very close. i was 6 yrs after my youngest brother and they knew my mom only wanted a girl....which is why i came into the family.though they made me feel like "one of the family" i now am realizing some alternate feelings....and i'm 37!it hurts......and that is really why i'm taking the next step in finding my biological parents. almost like a "hope it's better than this one" kind of thing".i do love my family, but things hurt. hard to explain.and most of all, I've now had a boy & a girl and could not imagine the amount of hurt & pain it would take to give up a child. NO WAY. that has to hurt forever. and i feel for my parents(my mom the most).

Hi. I don't know why we always feel we are the only ones who feel the way we do but I guess it must be human nature. I was so glad to read this post and see that I am not alone. I have a brother who is 4 years older than me and we are both adopted. When I was about 1 1/2 my Mom found out she was pregnant after 13 years of marriage and being told by two specialists that she would not be able to conceive. She and my Dad ended up having 6 biological children so I am 2nd oldest of 8. My parents never, EVER distinquished between my younger siblings and my brother and I but I have always felt different or "the odd one out" and have been dealing with these feelings all my life. When I was younger I was just convinced that there was no way she could love me as much as a child she carried for 9 months and gave birth to. There has to be a more special bond with them than with me. I voiced this concern to my Mom once and she swore to me there was no difference and I believed her yet still struggled in my head with these feelings. I am still trying to deal with it even now. Thank you for posting. It makes me feel a little more not alone.

Hello! I am not an adoptee, so please don't be upset with me for posting. I am the youngest of 5 children, 2 of which were adopted.I grew up feeling a lot of the same things you did! I never felt like I belonged with my family and some of my siblings would say to my parents, "are you sure she isn't the one who was adopted?" I still don't fit in with my family, and we have that "blood bond." My two sibs who were adopted are more like my parents than I am!I used to wonder what was wrong with me for not fitting in. As I've grown older I realize I am very happy that I do not fit in with that particular family. I love them and enjoy spending time with them, but I no longer long to be like them. I am different, but not in a bad way (at least IMHO). My whole point in posting is to just let you know that some of us who are raised by both our bio mom and our bio dad have some of the same feelings you do! So, blood doesn't automatically make you feel like you belong.

My parents had 2 birth daughters when they adopted me. They are 7 and 9 years older than me, so I always felt different somehow, but no one ever really talked about it. I tried really hard to pretend I wasn't different, and I hoped if I never brought it up my family would forget about it or something. It's hard to know if I was treated differently, because I was the baby of the family by a pretty long shot.

I really feel in my heart of hearts that my parents loved me and my siblings all..now that I have two children of my own I understand the term that you do not love one more you love "differently".. Unfortunantely I think that this is something that even if I was reassured every morning and every evening , it would still sit in the back of my mind that I was "different" and as such that my folks loved them more or better or whatever. After reuniting with my bmom and finding some of the best friends here I can honestly say that a small part of me has now fallen into place. I am still different, but in a special way...and I know who I am and now that I have my family and my bfamily in my life I am doubly blessed and loved.

wot right do they hav to say those things, i feel for u, am oldest sibling,others not adopted, found out by accident 4 yrs ago, nothing changed, always felt like odd one out, always remember comments like, we not fat, but you big blah blah,its all unfair,uncalled for,they have a lot to answer for my heart is with you x

you're definately not alone here!i am the middle child of two biological boys. I feel a closer bond with my younger brother simply because we are closer in age. We do not speak of my adoption or that i am different in anyway, and i wish i had his support instead of hiding everything i am going through. When we were younger and i told him i was adopted he use to say things out of anger, like 'shut up you're really adopted.' and i know its silly too, but little things like that really do hurt. so i definately feel ya here!

I am the oldest and my little brother was born 5 years after. I must say that it makes me a bit sad to hear the stories of people feeling outta place. My Brother and I have never had any akward moments as a result of my reunion. I guess I got lucky. I remember when it was all happening, and it happened fast, he'd call and ask for the updates, and ask how I was feeling about it all, and he seemed excited for me. I always made a point of being very open with him about my feelings and such. He has always accompanied me to dinners and concerts with my bio-mom and her husband, and to all the other bio sisters, and brothers houses for bbqs. Family isn't always based on blood and dna imo, it is based on unconditional love and understanding.

Hey there,I know it hurts my aparents couldn't have children so adoptee me,when I was thirteen my mom left my dad with me and we moved to Belgium,she was from there,and my dad remarried,and has two children of his own,about the same age as mine,I was a teen mom and he was an older dad,anyway,living in Belgium and him with my sisters in Canada,makes me feel like an outsider even thought my dad reasures me that I'm as much his daughter as my sisters. But hey,kids will be kids,my son of ten won't even drink from my cup because of germs,go figure,lol. I'll pray for you. xxx

I hav etwo older sisters that are my adoptive parents, "real children" as my middle sister used to say. I love my sisters and they love me. But I too always felt the odd one out even now that we are older. Especially now that I have my own children. To never look like anyone etc. while they all look alike, its hard on a kid. And the question I hate Whats it like being adopted? You aren't the only one with these feelings Trust me! My middl esister always resented me cause, mum and Dad always tried to make sure that I didn't feel left out that it kinda worked in reverse.

In my opinion, sibling differences are just part of being a family. Families with only natural kids have kids who feel like the odd man out and kids with different talents, gifts and attitudes. In my family, my sister and I were both adopted and younger natural brother. One of my cousins favorite stories was when my sister and I told my brother that "we were specially chosen, they just had to take what they got with you". Although we all always knew about the adoption, I can honestly say that none of us felt that our parents treated us differently because of it. We are all very different and, in some ways, my sister and I are much more like our parents than my brother. Growing up my brother and I were closer and, as adults, my sister and I are closer. Many years later, both my sister and I are reunited with bparents but that hasn't changed who our family is.

I am the middle child with an older sister and younger brother. My parents did not think that they could have any more children! I have never felt different from them. It is always the family joke that I was lucky not getting the crazy genes. But I guess I have been really lucky with my family. I can talk about the issues I have with my birth family and it drives my mom crazy that they do not want to meet me.

I would add to what another poster touched on. I am my dad's only biological daughter (he adopted two daughters after me with his second wife) and I have always felt like the odd man out, so it comes with all sorts of children, adopted or not. Perhaps it is more prevelant or more discussed with adoptees.

I always felt that my parents loved my brother more than they loved me while growing up. He's 5 years younger and got all kinds of things I wanted and never got. One of the most memorable things is that my parents wouldn't make a significant financial commitment for me to participate in my sport of choice in college but made double that commitment for my bro to participate in his in high school (around the same time). We're bios though- bio mom and dad that raised us bio sibs. The real kicker is that he always felt that I was loved more. It has made for a rocky sib relationship and has left us both with issues. My point here is that as an achild you may think your relationship complications with sibs (a or b) is due to a or b status, when it in reality could just be from "me" status- we're all unique. It surely sounds like I'm whining to point out how tough our sibling relationship was growing up, but it was- we're just now getting close and it took us moving to opposite sides of the country to get that way! So if as an achild you're struggling with feeling more or less loved, you might wonder if your other sibs feel like YOU'RE the one who is more loved (being the one who was picked out and all). I think every sibling relationship is tough and different but can also be rewarding (as my relationship is with little bro now).