foster agency sugar coats

:mad: Our (Fl's) system is definately broken. It just is a total wonder to me how the people that have no clue, no consideration, and no empathy for the foster parents even bothered to apply for the positions they have. The fact is, if you are getting "emergency" placements - where the children are just being removed from the home - the :mad: Agency (our case UFF) doesn't really usually know much about the kids. It's no excuse. If you have other children in the home - you wishes and needs should be PRIORITY. You need to speak up when placement calls and say "I have other children, I cannot take emergency shelters". Then if a child from another foster home is being moved - they can give you the current fp's phone number AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO CALL AND FIND OUT THE FACTS!! I do this for historical purposes whenever the need arises. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the child. FP's move, don't relicense, retire, or have bio-c's and quit. All placement changes are the kids' fault. :flower: We've had some really good children that have been in care for their whole lives that have moved for one of the above reasons. But as has happened to us - over and over and over - the Agency is like a used car salesman. Hard on the upside - ignore the downside. We've had children with a "noticable lack of parenting" who've been in the shelter THEIR WHOLE LIVES. :confused:The've NEVER HAD a parent. It was a sibling group of 3. Each went into care at birth. They tore each other up, tore my home up, I met myself coming and going etc for months. They finally got some parenting and settled down, but if we had other children in the home, I couldn't have done it. That was only one case. We had a "mild fas" child that couldn't talk, potty, eat, or play. How was that "mild"? We (us) can do it as we are both at home full time and have no children besides fc's here. Ours are grown. I've come to the point of not re-licensing because of the ineptness of the cm's and agency folk to keep us in the loop, provide documentation that is legally required, provide the services that some of these children desperately need. :grr: I keep hearing "we're improving" but then I can't get a travel order for a vacation in a timely manner. They moved the "clothing closet" even further away from us. The cm couldn't get Grandma to give up the WIC checks for the children so we had to clothe and buy all the formula, milk, cheese, etc. on the "Board Rate" that is totally inadaquit. The problem that I have is that I ALWAYS have kids at relicensing time and have to relicense to keep from moving them before adoptive homes are found or reunification happens. :clap: Thanks for opening the subject. It gave me a place to vent. Stick to your guns and remember if people like us didn't step up - these children would be in orphanages (which Florida is building under the name of "shelters"). And from prior acts, we know they don't work either!!

Thanks for replying, I was beginning to think we were the only FPs that had this problem. You're 100% right that when you have other children that your wishes and needs should be a priority to them. It's never the case, they will do anything to get these kids placed. The kicker is that we're NOT on the emergency placement list. They called Friday night, we accepted thinking it was the right thing to do, only to get stabbed in the back by our agency. Had we known of this poor child's history we would never accepted the placement. When the CW showed up to remove him we felt bad. We felt very bad, but our saddness quickly turned to anger when she told us that she was placing him in a home where the FPs were more experienced. Not 1 ounce of compassion or understanding. She had to get 1 last dig in.. It made me so angry I asked her to leave. We have a meeting @ 2pm to discuss adopting a young boy, who essentially became homeless today. His FP's after 2 1/2 years have given up on him because their work is more important. I'll be going through his file with a microscope so we don't get screwed again. They've asked us to consider taking him for the weekend to see if there's any connection. I'm sure the poor kid will be miserable after being removed from a home he's lived in for 2.5 years. The FP's should have been involved in the transition but were/are unwilling. So I'm at a loss on what to do and what to even ask reflecting on what happened to us last weekend. Any suggestions would surely be appreciated. Bub Foster Father to E&E 11 mos and 2 yrs

You know there will be issues. Can you contact current fp's to see if it is truly thier work - seems like that type thing would have shown up by now - or more sugar coating. I feel for you - as you got way more than you expected. These kids aren't the "pick of the litters" but the truth should be right out there so you at least know what to expect. I'm a doomsayer - The Agency's have made me that way. I always expect the absolute worst and am sometimes pleasantly surprised but never disappointed!! We do occasionally take emergency shelters but placement knows that it is for the SHORT TERM (unless we offer to keep them) so we don't get real invested in children we know are going to move on to another home - one more "suited" to their needs. The group I have right now - I'm working with. Case plan calls for BioM to go to residential and that will be minimum of a year (and she hasn't been accepted there yet, there is a waiting list). So I know that I need to work with the kids so I can tolerate :) them for that long. We have no intention of adopting - so if BioM screws up - they will be behaved enough to be adoped by a forever family. So either way, they will move on to a perm placement at some point - but right now their home is here - and they know that.

Again, your post spoke to me, I have the same concerns as you, about the system, about the kids, about relicensing, etc... I have two bkids in additon to my two fkids, and at times, what makes me want to throw in the towel is not so much the children as is the inability of those that have the power to make a difference in the way the wind may blow in these kids' life...those that actually get a chance to talk to the judge...the cw, the gal, the supervisors...No one seems to care. At times I feel like I've already surrendered, that I am doing the job of a babysitter and not the job of the advocate I'd hope to be to these kids. I feel deceived, b/c I really didn't get all the facts, b/c they sugar coated and w/held information to ensure the doors of our home would be open. I am so dissappointed I am not sure I will continue to foster once my fkids are either reunified or adopted by a forever family. For now, my only hope is that I am the best mother I can be to my fkids w/out endangering the health and wellbeing of my bkids b/c, regardless of how much I care about my fkids wellbeing, it is my family that is and should remain my number one priority.

Thank you for sharing. MY husband have our last class today. we have a six year old daughter. we are in it to adopt also. We are willing to accept girls only three to six. I know it will be hard to say no to these kids BUt I have to think of my family first Good luck and God Bless.

We have to remember ~ and I keep telling myself (over and over oand over) - the goal here is to love and cherish these children while they need us. It isn't about the cw's, or gals, or even about us. They are trying - I have to believe that. If the system wasn't so broke they would have enough time to advocate for the children. It is amazing to hear how health FL economy is and we can't have enough cw's or licensing workers to even go around much less enough to do a good job!! Where would these poor kids be if it weren't for us. I just read the areticle in teh newsletter about the "shelter" in LA that they closed down. How about the ones that FL is building now??? There is a brand new one that they can't keep staffed. The pay is so low - so that we can have an extra layer of payroll between the state reps and the children. It is impossible to figure out and it does not make any sense at all to me. I think it stinks of pork barrel - but I'm to busy taking care of kids to be able to visit congress - and I don't think they read any letters!!! Maybe we should start e-mailing links to this site to our reps!! hehe Of course you must protect your family. That is an absolute must. And your family has to come first. Our families are the next generation!! It is always hard to say no but sometimes it must be done. Sometimes placements need to be disrupted - for the same reason. Your first obligation is to your family - it is wonderful that you have decided to bring a child (or 10) in to share in your good fortune. And God will bless you for that!!