2 year wait for visa

It sounds to me as if you have gone into these adoptions ill-prepared. You have wonderful intentions, but you haven't worked out any of the necessary arrangements. First off, you should have considered U.S. immigration law before you proceeded with any overseas adoption. Basically, you cannot bring a child into the U.S. on an adoption visa unless the child meets the definition of an "eligible orphan" in the U.S. Immigration and Nationality Act. An "eligible orphan", according to the Act, is a child who is either: a) living with a single parent who cannot support the child at a standard considered normal in the foreign country; b) abandoned, with unknown parents, and living in an institution; c) orphaned, with no living parents; d) legally relinquished by parents and living in an institution with no contact with the birth family. You cannot get an adoption visa for a child who has been living with married parents (or unmarried common-law parents in a country that allows common-law marriage), or who is in an orphanage but with ongoing contact with the birth family and no legal relinquishment. This law has nothing to do with homeland security, and long predates the current concern with terrorism. The intent was to prevent the use of adoption visas to bring relatives' children to the U.S., as a way of getting around normal immigration processes. Also, you cannot get an adoption visa for a child unless you have met the preadoption requirements of the U.S. state where you hold legal residence, and obtained USCIS approval of your own fitness to bring a child to the U.S., as well as the eligibility of your child. To demonstrate fitness to immigrate a child, you would have had to have a homestudy, and to provide a variety of other documents to the USCIS. This has nothing to do with security either. The USCIS does not want to allow a child to come to the U.S. with a person who might potentially abuse or neglect him/her, involve him/her in illegal or immoral activities (e.g., slavery or prostitution), abandon him/her, or put him/her on the public dole. Unfortunately, failure to understand U.S. law in advance is one of the problems that people adopting independently often encounter. They fail to realize that, just because they can obtain a child abroad, even through the most legal of means according to the laws of the foreign country, the child may not qualify for entry into the U.S. I can't tell you how many times adoption professionals get calls from people like you, who adopted kids overseas without understanding U.S. law, and who discover that they cannot bring their children home unless they are willing to live abroad for two years with them. As heartbreaking as it may be, there is little the adoption professionals can do for these people, because the law is plainly written in black and white, and there are no exceptions. These people should have consulted a reputable U.S. agency in the first place. About all I can suggest with regard to your immigration issues at this time is the following: 1. Contact a highly qualified and reputable American immigration attorney, and see if he/she feels that there is any chance you can bring your children home, possibly through use of a mechanism called "humanitarian parole". Humanitarian parole is hard to get, but if he/she thinks you might have a chance, go for it. Yes, you will have to pay some lawyer fees, but that's really your best hope. 2. Contact your Senator or member of Congress from your home state, especially if he/she is known to be adoption-friendly. Explain your situation, and see whether he/she can do anything with regard to humanitarian parole or some other mechanism. Do be prepared, however, for disappointment, as Senators and members of Congress cannot actually circumvent the laws; they can only intervene in true hardship situations. Another area where you really didn't give your situation much thought involved finances. You have to remember that you must meet some financial requirements in order to pass a homestudy and get USCIS approval. One of the areas that will be important to the homestudy agency and the USCIS involves a steady source of income -- namely, a JOB that will enable you to support your children, without public assistance, and to deal with any medical or educational issues that may arise with them. Most homestudy agencies want to see several years of steady employment, and current employment, before they approve someone. How are you going to meet this requirement? And the USCIS won't approve a person to bring a child into the U.S. unless he/she makes, at minimum, 125% of poverty level income for a family of his/her family's size. If you have to live overseas for two years, will you be able to support your children there? And if you hope to bring them to the U.S. without having to live overseas for two years, can you satisfy homestudy agency, state, and USCIS income and financial stability requirements? On another board, you mentioned issues of education. You said that if you had to live in Korea with your children, the local schools would discriminate against them for being adopted. I got the sense that you would not be able to homeschool because of your other responsibilities. And you hadn't looked in to any other sources of education, especially help with learning English. And I suspect that there are other areas that you really haven't thought about. I have to tell you that I am terribly worried for the future of your adoption, and for the future of the boys you promised to parent. Entering parenthood with little thought to the short and long term issues of parenting is a formula for disaster. The whole purpose of a homestudy is not really just "approving" a person. It is PREPARING the person for the challenges of parenting an adopted child. There are challenges, and you really need to think them through ahead of time. I hope that you can manage to find a way to keep your promises to the boys. And I hope that you can manage to give them a good home. Please let us know the outcome of your conversations with attorneys and legislators, and about your further thoughts on providing for your boys both overseas and in the U.S. Sharon

Thanks for the info, but I already know all about that. The boys could not be adopted through an agency, only through private adoption. Also, you can get a visa for the kids, as I said I have to wait for two years and then I can get the Immediate relative visa. I did do some research and have had a lawyer working with me. I was just asking for advice on if I should be nervous, but it seems that most people only adopt through agencies while living in America and so can't give me proper advice.

Also, I did go through a homestudy, but the company was extremely rude to me as a sinlge man, so I had to fire them. And I live overseas, so it is very hard to get people to do homestudies. As I mentioned before, my case is different than most others. The school issue was taken care of, I am having a difficult time becauser I am living in a foreign country, and from the other peopel I have met here adopting, they are going through the same problems. I have thought a lot through, so I am not so ill prepared. I was asking for advice about financial matters only because I have seen people her mentioning adopting or having up to 5 kids and thought they could offer tips. That is all. I have had to deal with a lot of people telling me that they don't think I can do anything with this and I have proved them wrong at every corner, from getting the kids, to getting them into Korean public school, to dealing with getting braces for teeth. I don't mean to sound rude, but you have struck a nerve!

I don't know anything about the laws that affect your situation, but I do have three kids on a limited income, so I can speak to that. I am at home full time and DH is a student/consultant & we do have some savings from before school, but I can say that we can "make it" on about $35K per year and are comfortable at about $45K - both net after taxes. However, we only have very limited childcare expenses. In preparing for your return, think carefully about where you will live, if you can, b/c the cost of living varies greatly from place to place. So far, we have lived in pretty low cost of living cities. That said, having our savings is of great comfort b/c we are covered in the event of emergencies. Perhaps you can work on building a nest egg while you are waiting. As to tricks on living cheaply, I'm full of them, but I'm not sure the same tricks will work in Korea. If you have any specific areas of concern that you're looking for tips, I'll share any meager wisdom I might have. Good luck!

Thankyou for your financial info. I have started a small savings of about $13,000. I try to save at elast $500 a month for it and have been doing okay. It was only the first month after my son moved in and I went shopping crazy buying clothes and toys and school supplies and books and ...you get the idea. I have looked at my budget for the past three months and the big parts are clothing and entertainment (toys, comics, snacks) so I guess I need help with clothes and toy buying tips. I know I live in another country, but I will be back home in about a year and a half and could still use the tips. My son is 8 years old and the other boy I a trying to get is 8 years old. If I do decide to adopt a third child, I have no idea what age he or she will be, but as of now, daycare is taken care of. He goes to Tae Kwon Do classes after school and then he goes to english classes after that. We get home around the same time. His day is full, but I know he is so happy, because he is doing "normal" korean kids things now. My parents said they will help me buy a home when I get back to the US, but I think that means they will choose a home near them (in Florida, which is too hurricane prone these days for me.) So that is taken care of, and I alrady have a house full of furniture that I have collected, except for about half the kids furniture, so that is taken care of. I guess I can also use advice on grocery shopping. I am fine over here, but we eat mostly Korean, or Korean inspired dishes, so the shopping sould be different. I am more prepared than people think, and than I myself think, but I always ask for advice just in case, because that is what a good parent does.

For saving on groceries there are many things you can do. Not buying name brands on everything, using cupons, not buying as much ready made stuff, shopping sales etc. One thing you may want to start doing is to prepare your boys for American food. That can be a big change for them when you move back. You will be able to find some Korean food, but it will be expensive.So you might (if you can find it afforably there) start having one American dinner a week or something to prepare them. As for the house, living near your parents would probably be smart if you can stand them. Grandparents are good for kids and as a single parent you can use all the help you can get. If a child is sick and can't go to school, you may not be able to miss work that day, but grandparents and other relatives can be handy for stepping in. Also a few months before heading home, you might want to start speaking only English at home and you might want to start talking to them more about American culture, schools and holidays, so they are not behind socially. As for hurricanes in Floriday, they have floods in other parts of the counrtry or tornados, or earthquakes, or blizzards. You will also want to be sure of what furniture you take with you, friends who have lived overseas have ended up leaving most furniture behind finding it less expensive to replace it than to ship it. Clothes and toys you might be able to find in thrift shops or on e-bay. Also making friends with other kids parents, hand me downs are wonderful!

Just as an aside for planning purposes: It appears that you are prepared to complete 2 years of physical and legal custody so that you can immigrate the child as an IR2 (versus IR3 or 4, which are the orphan categories). I just wanted to clarify that 2 years is only the 1st step. Once you have completed those 2 years (and ONLY after your complete those 2 years), you can can then file form I-130 to classify the child as an immediate relative. Depeneidng upon the Service Center or overseas office to which you apply, that may take up to 6-7 months. The file will then proceed thru the National Visa Center, which may take an additional 2-3 months. Then the case will be transferred to the US Consulate in Korea, which will also have its own backlog and schedules. So you need to plan that in addition to the 2 years, you may have to remain in Korea for an additional year or so to obtain the actual visa. Yes, the child becomes ELIGIBLE for it at 2 years, but individuals often forget about processing times, especially for consular processing cases. Another word about additional children. Remember that each child stands alone in the process, and each must independently qualify. So while the first one adopted may reach 2 years, and therefore become eligible, the 2nd, 3rd, etc adopted still needs to wait HIS own 2 years before eligibility. So if you plan to adopt additional children, be sure that you understand that you are lengthening your time in Korea.

Another great way to save money on kids clothes is to clearance shop a year in advance. Coupons help a lot, too. A lot of stores will send you coupons if you get their credit cards (but, beware, don't run up balances! always pay them off in full!) My kids are all really tall & need new wardrobes twice a year b/c they always outgrow their clothes that fast. I can get 10 pieces of nice clothing for the same price most people pay for two pieces using this method. As for furniture, I have a lot of friends who garage sale or use local internet "consignment" lists - kind of like local mini-ebays. Again, coupons are a great way to save money on groceries - though I gave this up with #3 b/c it's time consuming to clip and track them all. You might consider renting a place for a while when you arrive. It can be difficult to get the real skinny on a particular public school in advance. If you rent for a while, you won't be locked into a particular area if the public school isn't a good fit for your kids. Hope this helps.

Thanks for all the tips. I really appreciate it. I already do give my son an American style meal once a week, usually spaghetti. Also, this is a modern country, so it is filled with American owned restaurants that we can eat at. Rigth now he likes McDonalds, but he tells me he prefers my cooking (always makes you feel better to hear that.) I don't know if I could sit there and cut coupons all the time, but I will try when I get back. And the idea about the apartment was sound. I could only think of getting into a home as fast as possible for stability, but getting the lay of the land will be better for us. Thanks. Calikismet you have made a good point though. Most people do forget that there is more wait time. I did factor that into my year and a half left, as he has been in my care as a foster son since last February, but I only added a couple of months. I was told that I should start applying for his visa as soon as possible, so this news will make me have to do some more research before I try. Also, the other boy I am trying to adopt has been in my foster care since last February and since the rule is that the child has to live with you for 2 years, not neccesarily be legally your child for two years, that counts, and I did call several government agencies to check that one out. It would only be the thrdr child that would throw the date off. I appreciate that you reminded me to check the wait time though, thanks.

Cupons, when I do that, I only do it once a week. Here we only have a weekly paper so I don't get many, but when I got a bigger paper and cupons came out twice a week I set them aside and once a week went through them (kids can help) only cut out the ones for things you would buy anyway or have really been wanting to try. I had a special cupon wallet that I put them in. It sorted them by type, Like cereals, frozen foods, cleaning products, paper products, etc. Then when I put them in there I would put the ones to expire first at the front. Then in the store, if my list said, dishwashing soap, I would look and see if I had a cupon, then I would compare to see if the cupon brand was cheaper with the cupon. (sometimes another brand is cheaper even with the cupon) It took a few more minutes, but it helped my kids learn math as i had them help calculate and the value of money (I would tell them that we had only so much to spend and if we got everything on the list for less we could buy something that was a treat like Ice cream) A few cents here and there really adds up fast. The other thing you are going to have to consider when you come home is medical. I don't know your skills, but as a parent you need to look at benefits for jobs because medical insurance is important. Foreign adopted kids are more difficult to get government aid for and one of the papers you sign says that you will not be asking for any. I don't think kids that come in on that kind of visa get the automatic citizenship so you will be working on that when you get home (but by then you will be used to paperwork!) I won't lie to you, it won't be easy, but you sound like you are willing to do what it takes to make it work. Also be prepared for people (school officials and others) to be suspicious of you. After a recent high profile case of a single man adopting a child and then molesting her, people are suspicious of single men adopting. It's another reason to live close to family or friends, you won't be percieved as a loner, if you have friends or family that you spend time with. Anyway, good luck, let us know how it goes.