New with a problem

Hi,I am new to the board. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and are possilby thinking of adoption. I have some female problems and dont think I can have children. We are located in Florida and own our own buisness. We work together and have a wonderful marriage. The reason I joined the board is not entirely for that though. My husbands parents adopted 3 infants 12 years ago. Now for my ramble please forgive me if I wander or if this is not the right place for this. One of them is autistic the others are not. They adopted while my husband was in college. When he returned home from college to work for his dad they pressured him into staying with them and helping with thier new children. Well soon my husband became the father figure becuase his dad was "too busy" finally he moved out and married. We are now having a problem. His parents treat him as if the kids are his and that he ran off and dumped them with these kids. They make him fell guilty sometimes. We have had all three over for a sleep overs or on a weekend to play and have fun. I worked in childcare for many years so I try to prepare fun things for them to do while at our house. We live the next street over from his parents and the younger child who is autistic will run away to our house when ever he has a problem at home. Usually it is becuase his mom antagonized him. Well we would take him back home or wait for his parents to pick him up. And we told him if he wanted to come over he needed to call first becuase we are not always home. This has been going on for our entire marriage. Well the past two weeks he has called daily asking to come over and we have allowed him to come over a few times. Over the last 3 years I have noticed that it is my husbands mom that is the problem with the one child. She will say hurful things to him or antagonize him until he snaps. I would never tell him that he can not come over due to this. I want him to feel that he has a loving place to run to when this happens. The other two children though are getting jelous because they dont get to come over. I have no problem having them all over but it tends to just be the boy. Both my husband and I are at a loss as to if we are doing the right thing or not. We dont want to be his parents escape from the children they adopted. We have offered to take in the autistic child since that is what they have to most problem with and his dad said great and his mom had a break down. Both his parents are in thier 60's and my husband is in the will to get the children if they die early. So we are stuck with not knowing how we should handle this situtation or what to do. I am sorry I rambled and I may have left some things out but if anyone could offer any help that would be wonderful. I look forward to reading up on adoption and learning.