Hi I am a soon to be new mom and I am Placeing

You are already bonded with the baby. You are connected and attached in more ways than an umbilical cord. I think it is important to realize that your feelings may change drastically after the baby is born. I have seen this over and over again. It is important to be prepared if this does happen.

Very Good Point Bromanchic - while thinking about my posts I realized I forgot to mention this very important point- Upcommingmom is ALREADY bonded (as moms do :) ) and that is why she is so concerned for her baby- she shows concern out of shear love!!! What she doesn;t yet realize though, is that it is greatest love to give her baby the mother that her baby is also already bonded to in Utero, that is, HER!! The very wman who put her on the planet - there is no greater love than this!!! :)

Fallen, I think your intentions are good but I think you are a little off, Not ALL moms feel that bond, sad , but true, and I personally found that it was because if the Great love I had for my bchild that I gave him his parents;)

They may not feel the bond, but that does not mean it is not there, especially for the child. Children respond to their mothers in utero, it is a symbiotic relationship on a very basic level. While an adult has the capacity to ignore that, a baby in utero does not. That is why I encourage nurturing that bond, even in moms who say they do not feel it. Because if mom is not "mothering" that baby in utero and immediately after, no one is. That is why I encourage gentle transitions.

Question: Is there a difference between bonding and love? Can you love without first bonding? Must you bond before you can love? Or can you love without bonding? Or can you bond without loving? ??????????? Would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this. FC

I think there can be a bond without love. I also think there can be love (by one party) with out a bond between the two of them. I see it all the time in the theraputic work I do.

I am 22 wks and ITS A LITTLE GIRL and I am still placeing her with her forever more family, I am more content now then ever, she is kicking and has long legs and I will be happy to hand her to her MOM....Take care:wings:

Hi upcomingmom, it's good to hear how you're doing. After I got notice of your new post I read through the whole thread again. I did not see my son immediately after delivery. (In those days, they believed the less time you spent with the baby you were placing, the better.) My mother and I walked to the nursery and saw him the next day. I only held him once and that was the day I signed the final papers. (I refused to sign the papers unless I got to hold him.) If I had it to do over, I would have spent more time with him. I did not place him because I didn't love him, but because I felt it was the best thing I could do for him. I have never changed my mind. Even believing that I made the right decision, it has not been easy. You do not simply walk away and forget! If you don't deal with the pain and grief at the time it will come back to bite you!

It Is A Girl~

Congrats Upcoming!!

Congratulations!!!:clap:

Upcoming - Hello. I'm sure you'll bet tons of support from these great birthmothers/firstmothers on this board. I know you have a lot to think about right now, but something about your post made me think about you being able to hold and bond with your baby girl after you give birth to her. I am an adoptive mom in a semi-open relationship with our son's birthmom. I've never gotten to talk to or meet her, which makes me very sad. I don't even know if or how much she was able to see and be with her son in the hospital. I'd like to think she held him as much as possible, and had the time alone with him to tell him how much she loved him and why she chose us to be his parents. I wish I knew what his first 48 hours were like before he came to us, just so I could tell him some day.One day, your child might have questions about her birth. I can imagine that if you or her adoptive parents (if you decide to place) could tell her that you had some time with her and held her and got to see her, she would really be grateful for that. The thought of my son not being able to do that with his birthmom makes my heart ache. So I will continue to hope and believe that she had at least a few precious hours alone with him first so that she won't regret later on not taking that time. I don't to assume you would regret it later on, but I do hope you'll really consider having some time to bond with her in the hospital. Even if you do place her for adoption, she will always be your daughter. Good luck! I'll pray for you for peace and comfort throughout all this.

:rockband: :thanks: How ever I feel as I the decision for me that I have made is great. I DO NOT EVEN want to be pregnant any more so I THINK I am being really decent by staying this way I am FAT and MISERABLE and I want this over with!!!!!!!!!!!! I could really use some help, I do want to have a little thing in the chapel for the Amom, Can some one give me some pointers and help me there please?

Sounds like your ready to give birth. I always figured that when I felt like I was ALWAYS going to be pregnant it was time! What kind of "thing" do you want to have in the chapel?

I am a Caly Resident and I need some one to help me see where I can get phone service from, any names of companys, I need phone service. I have MCI but they are way too high? Any suggestions?