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Well, today I made the trek to the mailbox and there it was: the letter from my attorney. I really hate the phone ringing and the walk to the mailbox. My case is going to continue. We filed to have the fraud charges dropped and the visitation "Agreement" dismissed because the birthmother has failed to show for 9 months straight - and only sporadically before that. 4 1/2 years of this and I don't feel like I have the strength to keep this up. The judge refused to address the fraud charge (from March 2004) and ordered her to continue to receive free legal aid, and ordered us to conduct 4 hours of mediation as per the terms of the "Agreement" - which I have proof I have requested multiple times and she has refused. Then - if SHE desires - we will continue with a hearing after mediation (which will cost us a fortune) - and then move forward with another trial. It seems, according to his order, that the only way he will consider our request is if she refuses his order for mediation and/or states she no longer desires visitation. She gets FREE legal services - this costs us a fortune! This ever-tangled web is sucking my finances, my energy, my emotions - I feel like I am caught up in a whirlwind with no idea what is going to hit me or where I am going to land. Unfortunately, I also just closed on a house Monday and can not afford to make both mortgage payments and mediation, court, and attorney fees. I want my son to grow up in a house in a decent neighborhood with good schools - but I will have to let go of my house if this continues and that makes me very sad. My house is small, but cute and in a good neighborhood. We financed at 100% - and can make the payments with a little left over - but not enough left over for all the legal fees. I feel so drained and disheartened. I had believed that this would be the end of it - but it doesn't look like it - this could drag on for much longer. How do I hang on? How do I keep faith? I just don't feel like I can keep doing this. Christie
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I am at work crying....my heart aches because I know the pain you must be going through...I cannot figure out why any judge would ever allow this to continue!!! This is just so pathetic! It is so obvious the love you have for your angel. Emotionally and financially I know you are just drained...How much more can they expect you to take?? This is so clearly unfair..How many chances are they going to give this birth mom? Four and a half years that child knows you only as mommy...Please I know how hard it must be...please just continue to pray to God. I know how hard it is sometimes to have faith because your insides feel like they are falling apart- That angel has become a piece of your heart - Just pray to God to guide you and be with you every step of the way-to give you strength- You have gone through so much..and its so clear to everyone on this board the endless love you have for your son!!! You are all he has, and believe me when I say that angel will never ever forget all your love!!! Some days its hard to find the strength- I know the feeling...Go on the internet or get a book with spiritual prayers...and keep praying. I wish so much there was something we could do...We are all going through this, and its just so heartfelt- Always know you are doing the best that you can, and honestly that is all you can do!!! Never can it be said you did not give your all- You are a GREAT MOMMY!! And your little angel is so lucky to have been placed with you. Please stay on this forum and keep us posted...we are here for you- :wings: Our prayers are always with you and your family!!
Oh my goodness, Christie. I am hurting right along with you. I saw the post and was hoping (against hope) for some good news and so disheartened to hear this. I will continue to pray for you and for all of us. When will it ever end? All I can say is to keep your head down and do what you know is right every single day. God does see it and, trust me, I know how hard it is to do that but somehow a rainbow will come through this storm. I just know it. If there's ANYTHING more I can do, please PM me and let me know. I'm here for you. Big hugs,Josie
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I am so sorry. Who knew something so terrible could come out of something that seemed like a loving choice "open adoption" for your son.
I don't know how you keep going.....BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING!!!! For your SON.
Your story is so heartbreaking, especially for your son. Someday he will realize how much she has taken from him and hurt your family.
I wish there were some way to go above that judges head, or to change judges because he obviously has his own agenda and can't see the plain and simple facts of the case.
Thank you for all of your responses. It helps a lot to come here and see the support. I also spoke with my lawyer roday and found out my son's Guardian ad Litem filed AGAINST us as a response to our motion. Even my attorney says it looks like this can go on for YEARS more at this rate. I am so disheartened. Thanks again for your responses. They do help.
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Oh my goodness...as a former "living the nightmare and it's now over" survivor, all I do is PRAY for you (and all of you) that this ends soon.
I cannot believe that this can continue in this manner. Could anyone take your case pro bono?
My heart just aches for you. Hang in there, if anything for your son. He will get you through this.
In order for me to understand why the judge feels this is in your sons best interest I would first have to come to terms with our own case.I am so sorry that I have not been able to do that yet.I can not help you gain strength and to hang in there when I do not even know how we are going to do it.All I can say is pray that GOD will end this madness and somehow show these judges that we are not in court fighting for a piece of property.These are children that will be harmed more then they care to acknowledge if they are to be removed from their lives.I do not know about you but I have alot of anger that I MUST release every day in order to do my job correctly.I get up early and have my quiet time and then come to work and listen to a couple christian songs that helps me release everything and puts me in the right frame of mind in order to talk to (sometimes angry) customers.Another one is the song "Just Breathe"."Put your head in your hands and JUST BREATHE".May GOD bless you and your family and whatever HIS plans are may they come to pass soon.For your family and ours.GOD BLESS
ContactChar
Oh Christie, I can't believe this is happening. I'm so sorry. Does she have to personally attend the mediation? Maybe she won't show up--will that help? Char
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I am completely baffled!?! How can a judge NOT see what is truly in the best interest of this child?!?!?!? I have no words to make you feel better - I have no words at all. This entire situation renders me practically speechless. Keep FIGHTING! You and your son have come too far! I don't know how you can keep this up financially but I will PRAY that God will provide a way. We are here for you!
Thank you all again. I come here and read these often. Vernellinnj, Mommy24, Char, mom2GRLC, bajj, billysmommy, redbonec and Jaefer - thank you for your support and encouragement. Stacy, Josie, daddysangel - we are all going through this and it is good that we can support each other. How sad and outrageous for all of us. Sadiegirl - I'm so glad to hear that there are some times that these nightmares do end. What happened in your case? How long did it go on and how did it end? Thank you all again. I'm really struggling here with this news. (((HUGS BACK)))