Guidelines and Tips for Moderating the Forums

Below is a set of guidelines for moderating the forums – keep in mind, each infraction should be looked at on its own, sometimes it is not possible to follow the guidelines to the T, because each infraction needs to stand on its own merit. Three Strikes We have adopted a 3 strikes rule when it comes to violations of the Terms of Service. You can view the Terms of Service here: [url]http://forums.adoption.com/rules.php[/url]. We do have exceptions to this rule, they are as follows: Troll’s Spammers Solicitors – this goes both ways If you encounter any of the above, a ban on first infraction is permitted. Remember, our Terms of Service indicates that moderation is to take place at our discretion, so allowing members to have thee strikes before they are banned is going above and beyond. Debate and discussion Vs. Attack and Rudeness We need to be careful not to step in when healthy debate and discussion is taking place. We need to allow members the opportunity to debate and discuss hot button topics, even if we don’t agree with them, before we step in. Stepping in and posting a rules reminder when a rule has been violated or looks like it may be on the path towards violation is fine, but we need to make sure we’re not making threats and we need to make sure that the issue hasn’t resolved itself before we step in. Moderation should be an exception, not the rule. We need to do everything we can to keep threads from being closed and members being banned. Review of the Terms of Service No personal attacks: Personal attacks of any kind, public of private, will not be tolerated. Adoption.com chat rooms, message boards and journals are intended to be a positive, safe place for everyone. You are welcome to disagree with a member, but calling them names or flaming their character is not allowed. If you have a personal issue to discuss with a member, please take it off the boards and discuss it via PM. This is one of the most difficult rules we have, because it leaves so much open to interpretation. What you consider a personal attack, others may not. We have to remember there are dynamics within the forums that we are unaware of. We also have to remember that members of this forum are likely members of other forums as well, which opens up a lot we may not be aware of. I’m not suggesting that we need to be in the middle of everything – but we do need to stop for a moment and maybe ask someone else for their feedback, just to ensure that we are making the right decision when it comes to personal attack. No profanity: Vulgarities, obscenities, name-calling, character assassinations or mockery are not allowed on any of the Adoption.com community of websites. While there are appropriate topics of a mature nature, the vocabulary used needs to remain family friendly. This rule needs to be strictly enforced – this includes the purposeful replacement of vulgar words with characters or symbols. (&#% you is still F you, the sentiment is still there and we need to step in and edit/delete when this is done. There is, however, one exception to this rule: If it’s done in frustration, not to replace profanity, but like “*&(%&*( this stupid thing!” then that is ok. No solicitation of parents, ever!: Adoption.com chat rooms, message boards and blogs are NOT places for adoptive parents and adoption professionals to solicit expectant parents. So many people visit the Adoption.com community that potential birthparents get "pounced on" from dozens of different people if this rule is not strictly observed. Adoption.com is committed to making its community of websites, chat rooms and blogs places where potential birthparents feel safe. It is not appropriate for adoption professionals or hopeful parents to post "I can help" messages or Internet addresses for potential birth parents to visit or to send this type of e-mail or private message to potential birth parents. As well as Caution to expectant parents considering adoption: Are you pregnant and considering adoption? For your safety, we strongly recommend that you do not select adoptive parents or an adoption professional from Adoption.com or its community of websites. We have no way of knowing which parents on the site are qualified to adopt, and which professionals are reputable. Visit ParentProfiles.com, a service of Adoption Profiles, LLC, to find information on hundreds of hopeful adoptive parents who have each met the requirements to adopt in their state. Visit AdoptionDirectory.com to find an adoption professional. These two rules are the only rules that are bannable on first offense. If anyone, expectant mom, hopeful adoptive parent or third party blatantly posts, PM’s and emails any type of solicitation – they CAN be banned on sight. HOWEVER, let’s really be sure its solicitation. Sending messages with links to adoption agencies (unless they are an agency employee) is not solicitation…it is simply offering them a resource they might find useful. The exception to that is a direct link to THEIR profile on the agency website. When moderating based on this rule, stop and look at it from a little wider angle. If a birthparent were sending the information, would we take action? If an adoptee were sending the information, would we take action? We can’t act simply because a hopeful adoptive parent has offered a resource. The bottom line, we have a ton of adoptive parents, several hundred adoptees and a hand full of birthmoms here – our forums aren’t segregated and emom’s should be allowed to receive resources from any side of the triad. Let’s make sure we aren’t punishing those who are trying to legitimately help and lets make sure emoms who visit an adoption website are offered resources to help them adoption, in addition to the countless posts that are always posted offering resources to parent. The Agency Discussion Guideline: The Agency Discussion Guideline includes ALL fee based adoption services, not just agencies. If you have to pay a fee to use the services for your adoption (even if they are elective, like Dossier services, Care package service or Travel agencies that cater to adoptive families) you must discuss them in Private Message. This rule is pretty self explanatory. Members can be placed on a 24-72 hour break (use your discretion) on first offense – because this rule has been shoved down the throat of ever member here since its inception. This rule was added to our Forum Rules on 8/1 – so everyone who has posted or joined since 8/1 has agreed to follow this rule before they are allowed to post. Regarding Minors: Identifying information about minors (especially foster children) should never be posted. The minimum age for the release of information in all fifty states is at least eighteen, therefore the use of the forums to search for someone under the age if eighteen is prohibited. Additionally if you are adopting from a public or privatized foster care system, either domestically or internationally, please remember to respect the foster parent’s privacy by not posting their identifying information openly on the forums. This is a more in-depth rule that it appears at first glance 1. Adoptees under the age of 18 (unless they will be 18 in the next 6 months) should be placed on a ban and their thread deleted. Also, if their profile contains their date of birth or other search information, that too must be edited out. 2. Foster parents should be sent PM’s advising them that they could be violating their states foster parenting rules by posing pictures, names and dates of birth openly on our forums. We can’t police these members – if they post, they do and they are jeopardizing their licensure. All foster parents should be aware that we do cooperate with the states regarding issues such as these – we do NOT delete posts later when they discover they are being investigated for violating their states rules. 3. International adoption programs that use privatized foster care are another issue. Full names of foster parents isn’t allowed, ever. First names and last initial are ok. Also, posting the name and date of birth of a child they are NOT adopting, is not ok! 4. Domestic Foster Care – Foster Parent names, addresses should never be posted, unless it’s a case of an adoptee who is of age looking for their former foster parents. We see, more often than not, birthparents post full names, even addresses, of foster parents who had their children and later adopted them…this isn’t ok! They can post the first name, that’s it. No Solicitation or Marketing!: Advertising or solicitation of a product or service is not allowed anywhere on Adoption.com community of websites, whether you own or have a vested interest in the product/service or not. Additionally, posting website URL’s or addresses that link directly to fee based products or services is not allowed. If you would like more information on how you can advertise with Adoption.com’s community of websites, please send an email to sales@adoption.com This is what it is. If someone has created a thread to promote a product or service in which they or someone they know or are related to will profit from – the thread should be deleted, user profile notes made and PM sent. We allow retail links, just not to spam for business. The discussion of products on websites like Amazon, Toys R Us and Target CAN be discussed on the forums, as well as specific products on those sites and URL's are okay. Moderation, Editing and Banning: Chat Monitors and Forum Moderators regularly check the forums and chat rooms for inappropriate messages and material. Messages containing such material will be deleted or edited without warning or explanation and the member could be banned. Adoption.com reserves the right to edit, delete or otherwise moderate any postings made to its community of sites without warning or explanation. Members who require excessive moderation or whose participation results in excessive moderation may be banned. This is our “catch all” for the forums. Inappropriate is subjective – because this isn’t spelled out, make sure you get feedback from someone else before we take action. Of course, there are exceptions, blatant inappropriateness (International or agency photolistings, available situations and the like). Porn doesn’t require additional feedback. “I HATE THIS SITE IT SUX AND I HOPE YOU ALL DIE” doesn’t require additional feedback. We are not required to send PM’s or emails – this is a courtesy. We are not required to warn or give an explanation – again, this is a courtesy. We do reserve the right to moderate as we see fit. If we don’t like what someone is doing, we can moderate and I have. We want the forums to be a safe and friendly place for everyone. One of the most important things we need to remember is that Adoption.com is a PRO Adoption website – and while we do welcome opinions that differ from ours – hostile or attacking posts will be dealt with, period. We do not support the ‘abolish adoption’ movement and I won’t put up with nastiness surrounding adoption, adoptive parents, birthparents or adoptees on the forums, period! Recap and overview Let’s just remember to moderate with kid gloves. Our goal isn’t to ban people – our goal is to offer support and advice to those who want/need it. I want to take every measure available before we ban someone from further participation – unless, of course, their participation is a blatant disregard of the rules (ADG, Solicitation). Let’s also make sure we’re allowing members to hash out their differences and opinions in the form of debate without stepping in and threatening to close threads. Unless something really turns nasty, we should allow the debate of topics, because debate is healthy. Moderating Options Our options for moderation are as follows and are in order, meaning we should try all of them before we resort to a banning: Edit Delete Ban from Thread JGA (Makes participation very difficult) TGC (Allows them to post, allows the to read but no one else can see their posts but them and moderators) Ban from Forum (we can ban members from participating in certain forums) Ban from Site (Full ban) Availability – High Traffic Times I know that your time is valuable and I also realize that you guys aren’t being paid for your time here – but I need to address this. If you are finding that you can’t devote the time to moderate, please let me know. I need active members to moderate on the forums. Having an active moderating team is vital to the forums – especially during highly charged or emotional times – like the holidays, valentines, mothers and fathers day. Feel free to ask questions…I know there are issues I have missed or overlooked, so I’d like to take the opportunity to answer those now, rather than later!