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Sample Private Messages
*These are samples you can use in full or use as a guideline in your pms.
Please note that the ones IҒve provided are for first time offensesӔ. If its a 2nd reminder on the rules, then it might be they receive a break or an actual warning. (Depends on the situation) I do however, feel that in general, everyone gets a ғfreebie on their first mistake and the 1st pm sent to them is a reminder, not a warning. Meaning you donԒt need (in most cases) to say, If you do this again, weӒll ban you!
This ԓleeway does not include agency discussion on the International Forums or the General Adoptive Parent forums. If it is a brand new member, or in a forum where we do not have an issue with agency discussion then thereԒs some leeway given on their first mistake.
And of course, if a person posts a definite solicitation of a bmom or aparent post, that is an automatic ban and no pm is needed, or a spammer joining to post retail things etc.
In general, I would prefer our communications with the members to be nice but clear & firm on the rules, with a general reason why, if necessary. I dont feel itҒs necessary to threatenӔ with a ban on the first notification/reminder we do. Obviously there are exceptions depending on what they do, prior history (before user notes were made available or say they just typically are a jerk when posting all the time etc.) And especially with brand new members, I really do want them to feel safe posting and realize that theyve just been ғinformed rather than ԓthreatened. Remember, while every member agrees to the rules and some do actually read them, itԒs a lot to remember!
Read below for the Samples...
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Agency Discussion/Adoption related fee based services
#1 - “Please remember that any discussion of agencies by name or specifics must be communicated via private message. Your post said “I highly recommend Bethany and here is their URL” is considered discussion because you made a specific comment regarding them. When responding to a question about an agency, you can PM that member your thoughts and just post an “I’ve pm’d you” on the thread, you just can’t post it publicly. While we realize this is frustrating, please know that we must enforce this rule, not to censor, but to help protect you and agencies a like from possible legal issues.” For more information on this rule, please see the following link. (Copy agency discussion guideline link that is posted at the top of every forum, (announcements) using the appropriate forum they are in)
Cussing/inappropriate language
“Just a friendly reminder that Adoption.Com is a family friendly site. While there are appropriate topics of a mature nature, the vocabulary used needs to remain family friendly. I’ve edit out your post that said “my dh is such a f****ng moron from xxx thread and replaced it with “he is such a moron”. In general, please do not use cuss words in your posts. If voicing a frustration and you say, “I feel so @#(*$&#()*&%@)#%& right now”, that is okay as it’s not voicing a cuss word.”
Available Situations
This is only for active members who post things like “I was on a website the other day and saw this darling little boy I thought someone would be interested in! He’s 4 years old and cute as a button, look here on xxx site” Or “I was contacted by my agency about a baby but we had to decline due to whatever reason. If you are interested though, please contact me for the information or check out this link!”
This is not for people joining the site solely to post an available situation. Those people are to be banned outright.
“Just to let you know that we do not allow the postings of available children waiting to be adopted. I know you were just trying to help, but our rules do not allow this type of situation to be posted. We are not a matching site and it carries a legal responsibility that we can be held accountable for.”
Minor Children detail postings: (If searching for a minor, this DOES fit into the 1 reminder only situation) (use your discretion here...if you see that they have no interest in support and are only posting to search, then a ban is acceptable)
#1:“Due to the laws stating that a child cannot search or be found before the age 18, I had to edit your post regarding the identifying information you provided on a minor child. If you are searching for a minor child, please know that our site is not the place to do that. If you are here for support and resources, that is fine, but you cannot post details about a child not legally yours, nor can you post searching informational posts. Please refrain from doing this again or we will have no choice but to ban your account”
#2 – to be used when a member might post information about a child they heard of etc. For example “I am so upset! This little boy, Max, was suspended from Jaxon Elementary school yesterday for bringing a knife to school! He’s only 9 and is on the bus with my children everyday!”
“It is not allowed to post identifying/confidential information about a minor child that is not legally your child. For this reason, I have deleted your post on xx thread. Please refrain from posting this type of information again. You could simply just say “a child was suspended from my child’s school today for bringing a weapon” and that is sufficient information.”
I think that covers the basic, most common pm’s we send out. If you would like more situations posted, please just let me know and I will add them!
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