A.parents in delivery rooms?

This is REALLY against the law. When was your DD born?

Brenda, This happens more than people want to admit. They moved the Munchkin so that Josh couldn't see her when he arrived the first evening. I also wasn't allowed to have her the first evening. And that was in the "advanced attitude" age of 2003. Some places just DO NOT get it.

15 years ago. To be honest I was ZONKED that day in the hospital, so I didn't think to try, but I specifically remember my 3 friends coming to see me and telling me that they went to the nursery to take a peek and were told they were not able to see DD , because I remember feeling really upset over it. I want sure if that was a-mom's request (highly doubtful, as one of the girls was a family friend of hers and had been responsible for introducing us and plus it was not her style to ask for that.) But DD was born in the AM, I had a room around noon, and I remember being woken up in the early afternoon by some people (memory very hazy) to sign docs. So I remember thinking that must be the reason why? I also remember the following day when we were doing ther docs for the OBC, I had wanted to put the b-dads name on it and was told I couldn't because he was not present (he was in college in another state, which is why he was not present for the birth) Not so much that, but the ATTITUDE that was projected, made me feel like the typical stereotype of the unwed teenage mom who had no rights (SURE the b-dad is out of state, you know?) Don't even go there, looking back now it terrifies me,disgusts me, angers me but at the time I did not know better!

I got the same treatment (age 22 in 2003). Munchkin's birth father lives in NJ (where I got pregnant) and I gave birth north of Pittsburgh (where my family lived/lives). I actually screamed at a nurse about the way she was treating me regarding the father issue. It was awful.

I'm sorry to hear that Jenna.I kind of always hoped it was just a few ignorant people that were specific to the hospital I was at, or maybe a prejudice that 10ish years later was not as common. It saddens me that that isn't the case.

That's why it's important for you (and me) to keep speaking. I've always wanted to talk to my hospital about the issue but... going to visit my great-grandma there in 2005 caused me to have a massive panic attack so I don't think that's an option for me.

I know, it is hard tho, since I havent been in the town where I had DD in about 13 years. Ironically one of my bosses has adopted 2 girls who were born at the same hospital (ironic cause it's 5 states away from where we live, and not the MOST well known area!) but he's not the kind of boss I could ever ask those questions to (he's kind of guarded with details about his daughters, understandable since i work for him!) It does make me want to ask DD's a mom what she remembers, since those two memories are the only ones that stand out, the rest is a sleep deprived drug induced haze! It was so long ago, but it always affected me in a negative way.

I never actually stayed in the hospital when DD was born, but I would go to visit her and feed her in the NICU and the only person that ever even spoke to me was the SW. The nurses totally ignored me while tending to all the other moms in the room. Maybe it was only obvious to me, but I definitely felt like I was treated like a second class citizen.

I walked down to the nursery once when we were in the hospital, coulding find her. I went and put the fathers name on the birth certificate when I filled it out and I received an amended copy from the agency that still had me listed as her mom but the father information was left blank. I have the copy of the test results to prove that my ex is her father. That was 2004.

As an aparent...I'd rather NOT be there for the birth. However, if requested to be there I would honor the request. If the eparent would be more comfortable with me standing on my head while singing I'm a little Tea Pot - I'd probaby do that too. I just really think it should be about THEM and THEIR needs... As for how hospital staff treated M's birthmom....horrid while he was being born. Horrid isn't a strong enough word. HOWEVER, the nurses who cared for her after the birth were fantastic (a completely different floor). They actually made exceptions for her - allowing the baby in bed with her at night (not allowed normally but since she wasn't sleeping they allowed it - actually brought the baby in to suggest it). I felt they were VERY kind to all of us.

You can take legal action, Jenna. This is against the law unless there is a medical reason for it. I would suggest you write the hospital ombudsman at the very least.

When I gave birth, I didn't want anyone around. I am a very private person, too. I don't like anyone else seeing me in pain, either. Then when it came to the pushing phase, part of me wanted the b-father there, but the rest of me wanted to chase everyone, including the doctors and nurses out! Hehe. I refused visitors until I took a nap and shower, and pulled myself together.

I chose not to have Emory's Aparents in the delivery room, but they did come in right after. I was induced so they came to the hospital that morning. As my mom was calling them to tell them what was going on, they showed up. They were actually the first ones to hold her too. That I would change. I never had any time alone with my birthdaughter and that is my only regret. I needed that time with her. I'm sad that I missed my chance.

[FONT=Fixedsys]I didn't know this thread was still going. [/FONT][FONT=Fixedsys][/FONT] [FONT=Fixedsys]I am happy that most of you had positive reports about your experiences with a.parents.[/FONT][FONT=Fixedsys][/FONT] [FONT=Fixedsys]I am outraged that abuse (it can take a lot of forms) by medical personell continues in some places. In my generation it was tolerated because like- rape victoms of the day- unwed mothers knew that if they spoke up the public exposier would be as damaging as the origional offence. I'm sorry we let you down.[/FONT][FONT=Fixedsys][/FONT] [FONT=Fixedsys]If you have the courage to sue could save others from what you went through. Hospitals hate to pay out money and bad PR. They would start to enfourcing patient rights policies. If you shop around I'm sure some lawyer would take your case on a contengency basis. Don't settle out of court-get on the news! [/FONT][FONT=Fixedsys][/FONT] [FONT=Fixedsys]I hope this doesn't get me banned.-Patty [/FONT]

Why in the world would you get banned? Making statements like that makes one wonder if we need to be reading more of your posts :D