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Hi everyone. So where do I start? I have a little boy adopted from Guatemala who is my pride and joy. But I need some advice on my niece and nephew. This is a long story. So here it goes...my niece is almost 5 and nephew almost 3. My sister has never supported them. My mom has always been the one to provide for them. Well my mom sold her house, moved in with my other sister because4 she hoped to cut expenses and retire early some day. She bought M a mobile home to live in. All she had to do was get a half way decent job and pay some very small bills. Well she has never really kept a steady job. So after a year of paying all the bills my mom finally kicked her out. It was very hard for her because of the kids. So M went to a home for women and children. Again my mom found this place for her. She was supposed to do what they required, get counseling, job training, etc. Well after being there a few months her son fell and had to get a staple in his head. Someone said they saw her push him so DCF was called and the kids were placed with my mother. I believe she pushed him she has always been mean to them, I am pretty sure she is also doing cocaine. So we called DCF a few years ago when she was still with their father. They ordered parenting classes. They completed them and they closed the file. We did this when we happened to get an audio tape of them both screaming at the 5 year old at the top of their lungs and fighting with each other when she was just a toddler. I could go on and on. DCF doesn't seem to care that she will never be a decent mother, probably won't ever get a job, does drugs but we have no proof so they don't believe us. So there was a hearing today and they set a pretrial date. They will probably order parenting classes and counseling and she will get the kids back. She still has no job and no way to support herself or them. She is hanging out with drug dealers and just very bad people. How bad does it have to get before they will take the kids away permanately? DCF's goal of course is to put them back with her. Should my mom hire a lawyer? Although she really doesn't have the $. Who can talk on the childrens behalf? This has been going on since the 5 year old was born. I offered to take the kids when they were born and of course she would not let me have them. I am angry at her. All I went through to have a child and she doesn't even protect her own and she abuses them. Once she hit S so hard she knocked the wind out of her. My mom called DCF and once again they did nothing! Any advice would be aprreciated.
Normally they give the bio parents a case plan to follow such as get a job, get off drugs (drug tests done), get a permanent residence, etc...before getting the kids back. It depends upon each circumstance as to what happens as some bio parents follow the plans and some don't. It does depend upon how bad they want to have their kids back and how they do what is on the case plan. Has a case plan been established yet? Where are the kids now? Normally here in Florida every call made to the abuse line has to be checked into and if you have seen something as far as abuse happening then I would call them. Sorry I can't be much help. We became foster parents only to adopt our Niece in another state. I'm fairly new to all this DCF stuff.
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We live in Tennessee and took our nieces (three of them) out of a home in Arkansas. Now three states are involved. Similar stuff. It sounds soooo much like our case in the beginning. It may not be cocaine. We thought it was cocaine. It wasn't. It was meth. We couldn't get the state to do squat; so we hired an attorney and took the kids. Go as a family if you can and consult with a good family law attorney. If you're not satisfied, speak to another. We paid for our first consult, and it was expensive, but we spent the hour learning what we could do and laying out a strategy with the attorney.
One warning though, it has cost us over $10,000 and tons of stress. There was a lot of public records research that we had to do on the parents. I'd think about exposing your young child to that. But we have made it through the first termination of the older niece (really our great niece) and are on our way.
Once we got her, we realized just how traumatic her life was before us. It has been a lot of work. We have not involved the foster system and that has helped because while it was a little harder to get them out of the home, once we did, there was no reunification plan, no attorney for the mom, etc.
The first thing I did was to begin searching public records and digging up stuff on the mom. It took a while, but I got the hang of it.
States are all different, but not that different. If you have any questions about our experience I'll be happy to share. Good luck.
Amy
If their is an open case on these kids, then the Guardian ad Litem Office should have someone assigned to the case. That is who speaks for the child. Call your local Guardian office. Find out who has the case and tell them your concerns. They go to court for these children and look out for their best interest. Your mother can get a lawyer, but I don't think she has any rights. Until the parents rights are terminated there is not much your mother can do. If you sister follows through with everything on her case plan, she will get them back, if not she will not. But it can drag out for a while. Although there is a law in florida that states that the parents only have to be given 12 months to get their act together. I see many judges that are starting to use this law. (I am a guardian ad litem).
I will have my mom push to get a GAL appointed for the kids. I had my niece all day yesterday and today to try and give my mom a break. She was so good and such a big help to me with my son. Next Sunday I will have both of them and my son. It should be fun. I just love those kids.