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All,
I too am in the middle of a nightmare. Any suggestions are helpful.
My son was born 2/07. The birthmom signed paperwork 3 days after the birth. She changed her mind the day of the birth but then changed back after learning she tested positive for meth. She was fearful that she would loose her other babies when CPS got involved. She and I talked for the first 2 months after the birth. All was fine.
The birthfather is in prison. I was told by the mother that he was on board and had planned to signed the paperwork for the 1st 2 months. He acknowledge receiving a letter in Jan. from the agency asking for his relinquishment. He told the court that he did not respond because he had no intention of signing his rights over ever.
Things drastically changed the 3rd month. Two days before the $$ ran out, the bf filed a petition with the court to protest this adoption. The birthmother was very angry with the agency because of how they treated her and because she wanted more money. She threatened to get the father not to sign the paperwork. I just never thought it would get this far.
The bf petioned the court to give him the baby when he gets out of prison. He wants the bm or his parents to get the baby for now.
Incredibly.... the lawerys are saying i might loose if this goes to trial. I am having a hard time understanding why the father has longer than the mother's 3 days to contest.
Anyone have any feedback? Are there any laws protesting adoptive parents???? I've seen a ton protecting birthparents. Is there a way to get involved to change this in the future.
I am angry, sad, and very scared. But... ready to fight, fight, fight. I've heard nothing from the lawyers in 2 months. Agency is no where to be found.
Feel very alone.
M
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redfish17
Feel very alone.
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I feel for you and know the horror you are living. Are you sure this is the biological birth father? Every state law differs so I am unsure as to the waiting period for a birth parent in your case. Did he know for now 3 months of an adoption? Honestly since he is in jail I am unsure how he expects to care for the baby. Please if you need anything you can pm me. I will try and help all I can - I have been down this road, and thank God our adoption was finalized after 2 years of such an emotional roller coaster. Praying helps the most-Coming to this board helped me keep strong. Please know you are doing the best you can, and God placed this angel with you for a reason...
redfish17
The birthfather is in prison. I was told by the mother that he was on board and had planned to signed the paperwork for the 1st 2 months. He acknowledge receiving a letter in Jan. from the agency asking for his relinquishment. He told the court that he did not respond because he had no intention of signing his rights over ever. M
My son's birthfather told me something that might explain some bf's actions. He said that men in jail are advised by the other inmates to always ask for custody of and/or visitation with children. The reason being that it makes them look more responsible when then come up for parole/probation. The judge is more likely to release a man who "has to raise his child" than one who signed off on his responsibilities.
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My daughter's bf was in jail also. The birthmom had signed away her rights and the bf refused when he got notice. So we had to go to court right away. I was a freaking wreck, we had had Molly about a month or so. In our state, when the birth parents are not married, and the father refuses to sign over the child, then a hearing is set for a judge to decide if the father's rights will be terminated or if he can keep the child (in this case he wanted his mother to take the baby). His rights were terminated - he had a long criminal history. But if the parents are married, the rules are different - if he had refused to relinquish his rights, he would have been able to keep the baby. So yes, you need a good lawyer and you need to know what the law says. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It was one of the most difficult times of my life. (After the bf's rights were terminated, he appealed and it went to the state supreme court - we did not know for sure until Molly was 11 months old that she was ours for good). Good luck.