Anyone just starting out?

I joined a couple months ago, but don't post much. DH and I are in the early phases to adopt #1. Our first interview with VOA is September 18th, and we are anxiously awaiting it.

Welcome Tiffchelle! We look forward to sharing your journey with you. :)

Dolores, I recall so well the frustration of waiting and questioning God's wisdom! Just wanted to "second" the truth that God has the best timing, and the best child for you in mind! It's so hard to keep believing it when you're waiting for your child, but it becomes crystal clear once they are finally yours. The facts remain that God is loving, compassionate, and knows so much more than we do. Sometimes I had to reaffirm my belief in that every 10 minutes to make it through the day. I found a song years ago and liked the words so much that I had them done in calligraphy and framed. I kept a smaller version on my computer at work while we were in the never-ending waiting process... God is to wise to be mistaken.God is too good to be unkind.When you don't understand,When you can't see his plan,When you can't trace his hand,Trust his heart. Hang in there!

Hi Dori, I knew that wheni started this journey I was going to have to go through foster care because my employer doesn't offer adoption benefits. I wish now that I would have adopted when I was at DaimlerChrysler because they paid for everything. And take your time making a decision. Research everything. I am still comtemplating international adoption because I now know that there are grants available (I couldn't get approved for a personal loan if I tried....my credit is shot :eyebrows: ). Boy, I question God everyday about these things. I am living pure (I am still a virgin...I made a vow to him at 14 BEFORE I ever became born again/a believer and I have stuck to it. It makes me cringe to see family and friends sleeping around with every man and woman, having kids out of wedlock, and I am being obedient to God to keep myself pure and holy, and I am now plagued with infertility because of PCOS. It makes me so angry. And you know what makes me more upset then the girls getting pregant? Their arrogant disregard for life and leaving babies in cars to suffocate them, flushing them down toilets, wrapping them in plastic bags, etc etc. Dude. Why can't you just go to the hospital and leave the baby there? All of us who are trying to adopt and can't have kids would love to have a chance to adopt these precious little lives. I am glad you are getting better with your feelings. I am trying to work out what is bothering me, and let God have his way, but as my mom always says...God doesn't work in time, he works in eternity....and she is right. So I, you and more men and women like us just need to continue to trust him and wait, because our time is in his hand. I will be praying for you as well. Thank you! And I will definitely PM you soon. God Bless. Dolores

Thanks Ani. I will hold on tight. Trust me, Jesus is all I have. I am focusing on completing my Masters, and I am just going to keep requesting profiles of children I am interested in, and waiting on the news for the 6 month old I have been fasting and praying about who was cocaine exposed and born addicted. And you are right, it's all in God's timing. We are such a 'want it now, gotta have it now' society, that we have unlearned patience and endurance. And I want to unlearn these un-Godly behaviors because I want the Lord to know that I trust him and his will for my life. Thank you for your kind words. I will stay in prayer and just keep waiting on God. He is bound to release my blessing sooner or later.

Good luck and I have said a short prayer for you. *hugs*

Wow. Everytime I read a response it makes me see I am not the only one (why do we always feel this way) how is or who has experienced this. And again, everyone is right. I have been for months been telling myself that, but sometimes I get so discouraged, I can't believe it. But in my heart I know it to be the case. Thank you and I will keep holding on and keeping on!

We're at the other end of things ourselves, but I remember wondering when and if God was ever going to grant our desire for more children. As the mother of five active children I can assure you that God does abundantly bless, but it is all in His timing! Dh and I did not 'plan' to have any children; I have health issues that felt would preclude us from having bio children, and we weren't in a position to adopt. So, we were just going to be the two of us and that was ok.Then we had the surprise (!!!) bio child, so we thought we'd be the happy and blessed parents of one. Seven years later God pushed us forward and lined us up with a homestudy and we began that long wait to adopt. We have now adopted four kids. It has been worth the wait and the heartache! (And some days I have to repeat this over and over to myself! :D ) We've adopted all of our children from foster care. We did not foster to adopt, but did 'straight' adoption. We've also fostered children, but did not adopt any of the children we fostered.So, for those taking those first steps toward adoption, and those who are waiting and waiting to be matched, hang in there. :)

LOL, I frequently have to as well.I just wish we'd go ahead and start updating our homestudy. Dh keeps saying we will, and then he comes up with some reason not to turn in the paperwork. I keep telling myself it's all in His timing, not mine, and not dh's. It will all work out. If I am to have another child, I will. It is nice to be reminded of that from time to time! ;)

I can relate to the feelings posted here...and we will keep you in our prayers! My dh and I are far from perfect, but it is difficult to watch my friends and family members have babies whenever they desire it seems...and why not us? Anyway...I know that He has a better plan for us too, and it is up to us to trust in that no matter what. My dh and I have been married for 6 1/2 years now and are very anxiously, and sometimes not so patiently, awaiting our first foster placement. We are approved for adoption as well, but have not been matched in 3 years. It is frustrating. We are so busy with our jobs, extended family, and life in general...but I am not busy doing what I truly want to be doing. I so desparately want to be a mother! Last weekend I had my 7 mo. old niece spend the night with us just so I could pretend I was a mom of an almost newborn. I know that sounds funny...but it helped pass the time! Our other nieces and nephews spend lots of time here too, but I really want a baby. I've wanted a baby as long as I can remember. It is hard to see our baby room all set up and ready....yet empty when I know there are babies who need a home. But, I will be patient. Does anyone have any information on how long the typical wait is for a new foster/adopt family for their first placement? Any hope keeps me going a few more days. :) How often is too often to contact our Resource Family consultant? I don't want to be annoying, but I want her to know that we are here, willing, waiting, and ready for her call. :phone: We have been licensed now for about 4 weeks. (I know this is not very long...but it seems like forever for me!)

Princess, I have never fost/adopt so you might want to check out on the fost/adopt forums, but personally, i would imagine once a week might not be too bad?I hope you get your first placement soon!

Princess - your wait depends on so many different variables - the number of children in the system in your town/county, the type of child you're willing to take, how proactive your worker is. Are you with a private agency or with the county? In my last foster/adoption class (I'm with a private agency), I asked the adoption matcher that was there what the wait was for an adoptable infant girl. She told me 9 - 18 months, but if I was open to a minority infant boy I could bring one home from the hospital. Before I got to my car, I knew I was going to have a son instead of the daughter I always imagined. My son came home one day shy of my two month anniversary of being licensed. My son was five-days-old when he came home. He was my first placement. Sept 20, 2006, I submitted my second application to adopt. A little less than two months of my son's adoption being finalized. This time I requested a girl only. And once again I was open to babies who were drug exposed. I got the call about my daughter on Dec. 15th. She came home on Dec. 21st at eight-days-old. I lost custody of her to her wonderful second cousin and now I'm awaiting placement for another baby. I got two calls last week from my adoption matcher about two different baby girls. One, six months, and one six weeks. If everything goes well, this time next Friday Daphne, the six-month-old, will be home. She TPRs in October. So in a very wonderful world I could be signing adoption placement papers during the wonderful holiday season. Call your resource person and just see if she has any updates for you. Do you have her email address? That's how I contact my adoption matcher. My emails were always short and sweet. She would answer with a quick one or two sentence reply depending on the information she had. You could even ask her how often you can or should contact her. I'm praying you get the call soon.

I'm going to jump in and say hi -- I'd debated as we really haven't "started" and likely won't for awhile. But it seems others on here haven't made that final leap either, so maybe it's okay to join? We are researching and saving money for #2... so far, we are narrowing down countries/agencies. Although we know things (what countries are available, their requirements, etc.) will likely have changed in 2 or 3 years when we're probably going to be able to start in earnest, it feels good to be doing SOMETHING. I'm trying not to obsess (haha!), though. I'm kind of trying to keep one ear open on these forums and others about new country programs, changes in rules, etc. without making it high-pressure or feeling like we have to decide something right away. DH really wants to do an international adoption for #2, and since it was mostly my choice to do a domestic adoption for #1, I think we will do what he wants this time. I'm certainly fine with the idea of international adoption, although the process seems a bit daunting -- much more paperwork and red tape than domestic, I think. Right now, Ethiopia, Haiti, or Vietnam are our top contenders for country of choice. However, Ethiopia and Haiti are both due to have revisions in their rules, I believe this fall, so we will see what that brings. We do not currently meet Haiti's requirements so I am hoping the expected rules will be more lenient so we will. Anyway, just wanted to say hi.

Of course you are welcome to join us, Jaenelle!Yuna is adorable, and I hope your path to your next child is a smooth one. :)

Yuna is sooo very cute!!!!! I just wanted to say thank you all for the advice, and your stories of foster/adoption. It really helps keep me going to read these stories and remember it really does happen!!! we would absolutely LOVE to bring a baby home from the hospital of course, but we will wait and see! We are on a weekend getaway right now which also helps to pass the time! Hopefully those holiday adoptions will happen!!!