What should I ask the birthmom?

Originally Posted By AndreaTo answer your question, I can share our experience with our Birthfamily. We didnt actually ask a lot, instead we made ourselves available for them to ask us questions. They wanted to know more about us. Things that they were not able to learn from our letters and understand more about us. You may want to ask ( if you feel that it is a good time) the reason that she wants to place. Hope this little bit helps, I know that it can be a bit scary but know that it should be a good experience! Good luck and our thoughts are with you!

Originally Posted By AndyOur meeting went well, we were very nervous - I took a couple of pictures with me, of family members, and the babies room, which I had hand painted years ago - at that time just for fun. Bmom and Bgrandmom were there, and it went sooo good, we clicked and talked for over 4 hours - it felt like we had known each other. Just be honest, be yourself, please don't tell anybody anything you don't mean - as far as future contact with the baby if you do talk about it - it would not be fair to bmom or baby. Good luck

Originally Posted By bm JamieAsk her how much contact she will like to have after the child is born.Remember though after the birth of the child she may want more or less contact & be afraid to discuss this issue with you. Bring lots of pictures to show her. You'll be suprised at how comfortable you will feel during the meeting. I was a nervous wreck the night before meeting my bsons parents.

Originally Posted By BonnieWe asked our son's bmom if she had picked out a name for the baby (she knew it was a boy). When she said no, we shared the name we wanted and asked her opinion. We also asked about contact, about her hobbies, etc. It was nerve wracking, but it went great.

Originally Posted By jenniferyou should ask the birthmom things like how she wants the adoption to go and what she wants in a family. some questions can be: do you have a name picked out? if so do you want the family to keep it?do you want the couple at the hospital or in the delivery room?do you want an open or closed or semi open adoption? if you want open how much contact do you want? do you want visits?what are your hobbies and interests?what are your career goals?what are your talents?do you want other children in the home?do want a stay at home parent?what religion do you want the family?do you want to spend time alone with the child after its born and if so for how long?do you want the child to go home with the family after the release from the hospital?these questions may help you when you talk to birthmoms.

Originally Posted By JPThanks everyone - our meeting has been postponed, trying to be hopeful anyway.....thanks for the advice!