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Mega
How do you do it each day. We had him for 31 days when she took him back. I keep looking for him and expecting him to be there and he's not. Our three year old thinks we can give her back now. And on top of everything I just got a bill from our attorney for $1500 for all the work she did for the return of the baby. I feel like there is nothing out there to protect the adoptive parents.
And no one knows what to say to me. I had to go back to work as my leave ended when we returned him, that helps but its just all so weird. Lisa
Lanes, I am so sorry you had to go through that. we had a baby for 10 days when mom told agency that she wasnt the baby back. THis happened in March. We lost a lot of money $4k to the attorney and $2k in birthmother expenses, flight hotel 10 nights car rental 10 days etc. needless to say the agency still has 17k of ours. I miss him terribly, I have at least 100 pictures of him that I look at every few weeks. Our 5 year old still talks about the baby. Time heals but the child will likely always be a part of your life. Hang it there you had this child a long time it normal for this to be so excrutiatingly painful.
I thought it would get easier with time but it seems to be getting worse. at first i was so angry and now im just sad. he was a part of our family for 31 days, and now he is just gone. My 3 year old talks about him more and more each day, I hope I'm handling it right with her. I just tell her his mommy and daddy loved him so much they wanted him back and that we just took care of him for a little while for them. But she doesn't understand and thinks we can give her back too. We told her he was her brother, and you don't give brothers back. We are out of money, so another adoption is out of the question. We just got the final bill from the attorney $1500 for the work she did to return him. I don't understand how the laws can be this way. I'm sorry for your loss as well, I can say I know how you feel. And it comforts me to know that I'm not alone, and by that I don't by any way mean that I'm glad it happened to you too. I just mean that it helps me to know that I"m not alone, but I do hope that no one else has to go through it.
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I'm so sorry for your pain. I was crying as I read it. I know your pain, though I wasn't on your end. I was a mother that decided to parent, I gave someone your pain. It's hard for me except that I did that to someone else. If this mother was/is anything like, she DIDN"T WANT to hurt you. I know that probably doesn't comfort you any, but please know that I AM SORRY you had to go through this. May time heal your pain, you were meant to be there for this child while his bmom was unable for whatever reason. Bless you!
lannes
has anyone experienced a disrupted adoption because the birth parents changed their mind. we really need some help with this.
Fadzi
I just wanted to thank you for your kind words. Things have been a little easier, my daughter is more accepting, the holidays have made me feel sad but in my heart I have to believe he is happy and loved and being well cared for.
Please don't let my experience discourage you in any way, I have learned that what happened to us is very rare. I wish you the best on your adoption and I will pray that it all works out for you.
Lanne
My husband and I JUST experienced a disruption (today). We were on our way across three state lines to meet and take the infant to a hotel while we awaited ICPC. The birthmother was going to meet us at the hospital and "pass the baby" to us as she was discharged. While on the road (5 hours into the trip) , the SW called to say that the birthmom had unexpectly decided to parent. We were quite surprised, and simply turned the car around and drove home. :hissy:
The trip was a total of 10 hours (all in one day). We had packed for a 10 stay for ICPC.
It is quite sad, but not unexpected. I have been reading these boards for months and in the back of my mind always considered the possiblity. We wish the birthmom luck and hope all works out for her. We now await another placement....
(Luckily, we didn't have to pay any costs until the revocation period was over - so our only loss was time and gas)
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(Luckily, we didn't have to pay any costs until the revocation period was over - so our only loss was time and gas)---adamslor
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How timely, lannes! I'm sitting here holding our 3 week old daughter Paloma in my arms. Our bmom is a wonderful woman, and she did sign TPR, though it was the hardest thing she has ever done. We love her and her family, and they us. Having Paloma at home with us is a dream come true. Thank you for your kind words!