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Hi, we've been in the process of getting approved for adoption from foster care since June 2012. It's looking like the end is near :banana: and we may finally have our homestudy signed off in the next month or so.
We originally stated 3-12 years (boy or girl, one or sibling group of two) but the social worker asked us whether we'd take a newborn. We increased our age range to 0-12.
My question is: will such a large age range be a detriment? Do we look like we're uninformed and clueless? We really don't mind what age a child is...different pros and cons with any age...we want to parent a child, not "have a baby".
I'd appreciate some feedback on this, please.
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The bigger the age range, the more likely you will get called. Also, if you are open to multiple siblings, that's a plus. I know in many States, they may have a lot of large groups, with big age ranges, a newborn , a 2 yr old, a 8 yr old and a 13 yr old... that they want to keep together.
We wanted a sibling set or singleton, under 5. We actually were matched preadoptively with a 5 and 3 yr old. Doesn't happen like that often around here! But our girls had a lot of "baggage" as far as diagnosis's and behaviors. They looked REALLY bad on paper. LOL
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Thanks for your quick reply. So, in your opinion, there won't be a negative perception of us because our range is wide?
We can realistically only take 2 sibs as we have a small-medium sized 2-bedroom house and two inside dogs too. Luckily we have a huge yard for playing in, but we have snow Nov-Mar! Also, I think hubby would faint if I suggested more than 2 LOL!
In my state we are liscenced for kids 0-17, and the agency is the only one that knows our age preferences. We talk to our case manager about why we have chosen the range, and everyone is on the same page. It will not be a deterrent having such a wide range. You will likely get more placements with that wide of a range. Everyone who comes into foster parenting is clueless in the beginning, because many of these kids are not like bios, so no one will think you are any more clueless than the rest of us. ;)ETA: I thought dh would flip when I suggested 2 fosters (we have 3 bios), but he is totally on board, so things may change and a bigger house might be in your future. :)
While we were in classes an adoption worker at our panel discussion said she hates seeing homestudies with big age ranges. My impression from her comments is that she generally assumes you really want a baby if you've written 0 to 10, so you should just write that in the first place. (That was not the case for us... we were open to older children as well and did not necessarily want a baby.)
Although our SW said we didn't have to, we ended up narrowing our ages down to 0 to 6 as a result... but frankly it didn't matter. We got calls about possible placements for kids as old as 14 (none of which went to the disclosure stage) before we were matched with a toddler. In fact, our FS was the only child that we got a call for that fit in the age range we put down.
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Scribble, that's exactly what we don't want people to think (that we really want a baby but we're trying to look "good" by putting an older upper range). We literally don't mind.
I've also heard that often times a match is recommended that is outside of the specifics that is on the application form. I hope that people will take our age range at face value, rather than try to imagine something more complex!
We had a little girl for two week respite who was 10 years old. She hadn't lived with her brother the whole time in care. Very few homes will take a 2 and 10 year old. We haven't had any large age differences, but I have had friends who have. Definitely helps keeps kids together if they can put toddlers with preteens :)
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I felt the exact same way going into it, not wanting a baby. We were originally licensed for 0-8 just incase an older kiddo had a young sibling. My assumption was since they say it's hard to place kids over 5 that we would get older ones because we were willing and they would save the youngers for the 0-5 people. We only did 0-8 incase a bio had a baby while kids were in care and we could keep sibling group intact. Our first placement was a newborn girl and 3 y/o boy. Next was 2 boys 1 & 4. I guess you just never know what you will get so be prepared it could be a baby :). It definitely does not look bad on you for a large age range. Our licensing agency loves us because we are open to anything, just were being cautious starting 0-8 because we are new parents and so young. Good luck to you, it's a wild ride but so worth it!
if you truly aren't interested in a newborn, you should be honest =) We are licensed 0-8 because my AD will always be the oldest in the house...currently we have a sib set of 3 we are almost finished adopting (had them 2 years), and a sib set of fosters... GO with your gut and what you feel comfortable with, you will be less stressed =)