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Originally Posted By nannai am grndmother-my daughter is birth mom-21/2 child being cared for by friend who is trying to adoopt thru chlidren & families services. So many questions. Original plan total open adoption but now adoptive mom changing her mind. Original plan to treat this as natural for this child. Allow him to love bmom(known by first name) and adoptive mom. Child is big part of maternal grandparents life. Also has brother. Can this young child handle all this if we as his family present this with love and acceptance? Or is it too confusing? Help--any comments?
Originally Posted By KimHi Nanna, What a difficult time you all must be going through! I am an adoptive mom of a two year old and wonder (on a regular basis!) whether or not our open adoption will be too confusing for my daughter and hinder her personal growth. One thing you can know is that closed adoptions are generally terrible for an adoptee. Open adoptions depend on the family and the child. As long as the adoptive and birth families are comfortable with the situation, your grandchild should end up being comfortable too. Since kids are so unique and ultimately we all want to be doing what's best for her... we (birth and adoptive family) have agreed to sit down once a year and reflect on how the last year went. To talk about what went well and what we could do better, to make sure that she seems to be developing well with the level of openness that we have. I also have a friend who is a social worker who sees stuff like that a lot. She says that the kids seem to handle the situations well and aren't confused at all. Good luck to you!
Originally Posted By Desperatly worried parentsMy husband and I just adopted our handsome son of 18 months. We have agreed to stay in touch with the extended family since his aunt was fostering him. I did not mind keeping close contact with his extended family because they promised us that they would not tell our sons parents where he is leaving and that they will continue contact with us. My family is very afraid that the extended family knows where we live. I wasn't scared before but I am a little worried. My husband and I have agreed that once he was placed in out care for good that they would not be aloud to be left alone with him at there place or bring him places alone. We have know problem them coming to visit him however we are afraid even if we went to visit that his parents would show up and cause trouble. Because the extended family has told us already that he has come for him once before the court date was finalized but his family said know. My husband and I would like to know other people's advise, comments or suggestions on this matter. Like my sister told me that she was glad that we made that decision because he is our little son now and we have to protect every possible way. Sincerely Desperatly worried parents
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Originally Posted By Katie's MomAs long as everybody is comfortable and accepting of the situation, I think your granddaughter will not be too confused. Children take cues from the adults in their lives. Make things seem as normal for her family as possible and she will think they are. Someday, she will realize not all families are like hers, but some of them are and there really isn't a norm for every family to follow anyway. Besides, I child can never recieve too much love.