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I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas for me about the wording of my son's story. He is a pre-adoptive placement from foster care that we are in the process of adopting. Before he came to us, he was in another pre-adoptive home for two months. This family intended to adopt him, even changing his name and everything. But after two months, they changed their minds. The reason was mixed but mostly they didn't bond with him and really couldn't understand or handle his personality. I don't want to ignore this part of his journey in his lifebook, but how do I word it in a way that doesn't make him feel even more rejected? Any ideas? By the way, he is a toddler and I am aiming the language at a preschool level. Any help would be great. Thanks.
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I'm sorry i'm no help but i would be interested to hear any replies. my son had a somewhat similiar experience about being in another home before being adopted by us.
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X lived with Mama Foster for two months before he came to live with us. He had a lot of fun there with (any foster sibs or pets or anything special) and they kept him safe and cared for till God could bring him to us...
That is sort of how we talk about our sons previous foster placement. It was not preadoptive, but he was there for over a year and bonded with them.
If you are still using the name they gave him, the name change could be addressed like "XX did not seem like a YY to Mama Foster. They looked in his eyes and could see that really he was XX."
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thank you mrsred for your input. i guess not many others have suggestions. it's a hard story to tell honestly to a young child. well, thank you for your input.
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MSRed had a good idea there I think. It explains the fact that baby lived somewhere else for a couple of months, yet doesn't focus on any negativity for his being adopted elsewhere. Luckily it was a very short timespan in his life. I would let it go as something along that line too, a foster parent that took care of him for a couple of months before he was placed with you guys. Sounds loving enough and easier to cope with without him someday thinking he was this horrible kid that a couple couldn't handle or bond with, you know? Best of luck!
I was reading the forum with interest because the LifeBook that I got from MARE is a good base to use I think, yet not really geared for those of us who adopt within our family (a granddaughter) so I've been trying to figure out some other ideas of how to handle it.
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