Debating on Giving it up for adoption or

The pbmom we are working with, found us. She advertised herself on free sites, and did a lot of tal;king to people.Adoptive parents are not hiding. But- if you are considering something like this, be very, very careful. You really cannot trust everyone.I'm not sure if it's really the best way to do things, I'm just saying you can. Our pbmom did.

There are tons of websites that host online profiles of families hoping to adopt. You can search through them by entering information that is important to you. Usually you can email them as well to start getting to know them. I will PM you some sites to check out. Keep us posted on your search, and best wishes!

PreggieInCali~ Welcome to the forums! You will find great support here. As a moderator here I want to let you know that it is against our TOS for anyone to contact you in regards to adopting your baby. As well as it being against TOS for expectant mom's to solicit potential adoptive parents. If anyone contacts you please forward the PM to myself or anyone on the moderating team. We want you to feel safe here and do our best to see to it that you do.Best of luck and if I can help, feel free to PM me.

interesting.. so you cannot contact interested parties about an adoption.. on adoption.com??? BRILLIANT...

too many scams...etc... liability issues.There is no way for A.com to prove that people are who they say they are. It's a gateway to finding resources and agencies who do that. Our agency put us through a throurough examination complete with FBI background checks and counseling sessions. The state had to approve that we were fit parents with a safe home environment. I wouldn't settle for anything less if I were a bmom. Oh, yeah...and my dd's bmom found us from an online profile listing. Got to meet and hang out, she never asked to meet our family, but she's more than welcome to. All the things you asked about are possible when you go thru a licensed agency, but you also get the added benefits of a security back-up that these couples have been investigated thru and thru...it's still no guiarantee, but you tend to weed out the bad ones this way. Also, An agency is held accountable for screening the couples and the couples are held accountable by the agency. The system mostly keeps things in check and balanced.A.com isn't a matching service because it doesn't have that system of checks and balances. It functions as a gateway to services and as an information exchange. You may find couples waiting to adopt, but you would need to contact them thru their agency or listing service.

I have dealt with agencies.. they just seem to talk about MONEY this & Money that.. I think its trajic.. THIS is not about sucking money from an eager family.. THIS should be about what is best for the lil munchkin.. FBI background checks.. only tell you so much.. I want to know if these people will be in GOOD HANDS.. this all seems WAYYY too complicated.. it is trajic too.. because i genuinely just wanted to HAND this child off & never look back.. I think I prefer to have a termination.. less headache.. all this talk about attourneys & doctor visits & blah blah.. uhg.. PLUS i still have to be the one to go through the PAIN.. and left with the bad back for years to come.. I hate being lazy & getting fat.. as far as adoption goes.. I TRIED.. but.. I just dont have the energy to go through this all.. with a termination.. Im in .. Im out.. Im DONE.. i was under the impression i could HUNT for a family.. meet them.. & if they were groovy.. then sign on the dotted line.. POP it out & go home... maybe get a xmas card once in a while from them.. showing how happy & wonderful everything is going.. THAT.. is allll i wanted.. but.. everyone is soo distrustful.. sooo suspicious.. soooo worried about being scammed?? I dont want to deal with false accusations & unnecessary drama.. I had someone email me accusing me of UNBELIEVABLE things.. wow.. i dont need this.. i really dont.. I am as straight up as it goes.. Blunt.. honest & to the point.. NOOOO hidden meaning between the lines... THIS WORLD is toooo damaged.. why would i want to bring anyone into it KNOWING what i know.. how do i delete this account from this site?

If only it were all so simple...Your post made me sad because you really haven't gotten a realistic picture of what adoption is like. It is an emotional, spiritual process that involves pain to some degree for all members. It isn't an eraser or a time machine. the act of placing a baby for adoption comes with it's own set of troubles, just like a termination would. You cannot make this baby cease to exist with any choice you choose. Nor can you avoid pain and hardship. The choice you make will determine what kind of pain you'll experience, as well as what form the relief takes. If you go thru a religious based agency, it isn't usually about $$$. If you check your local classifieds, you'll see planty of couples advertising there. Someone who is truly interested in the welfare of their child would feel safer because of all the rules and safeguards trying to ensure the best interest of all the parties. It sad that some women fake a pregnancy or even a placement to get $$$ from prospective aparents, it's sad that some aparents lie to agencies and bparents regarding openness or their past. It's sad there are so many dishonest people out to take advantage of others... It really happens, and it really happens to the nicest people who totally don't deserve it. Sometimes It happens in spite of all the precautions you take. You wouldn't marry just anybody and expect a happily ever after...

I even tried looking into Gay couples looking for a private adoption.. the ones that REALLY want a child but for some reason... are unable to acquire a child because they are not approved.. I feel sorry for THOSE couples more.. its why I mainly started to look online.. I really just wanted to avoid a termination & at the same time make someones wish come true.. AS SIMPLE as it may sound.. IT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.. I am not big on the emotional weirdness.. I am ok with having it for a good cause or.. not having this baby at all.. EITHER WAY.. I dont want children.. I was a surrogate 10 years ago.. NOOOO drama.. noo problems.. I am a person OF MY WORD.. I just dont want someone saying OH i changed my mind TAKE IT BACK.. ( but i doubt that would be an issue..) would be great if someone had a website.. THAT was FREE and you click your options.. fill out a portion about your home, family & background.. THEN you proceed with the adotion.. using an attorney... everything legel... ON the level... where are the people with honor, integrity & dignity.. in my opinion.. someone that JUMPS to conclusions about my intentions.. already has a corrput mind... I just want to help a couple.. & nobody has to be taken advantage of.. Im sleepy.. im going to take a nap all this is exhausting..

I want to thank several of you for being so informative & kind.. Geez.. I am soo hormonal these days.. hah.. I think once i find a family.. I wont be soo hasty & zaney.. *sigh* till then.. I guess im just a bit desperate & pathetic... so dont mind me.. im just new to this whole world of adoption & its hurtfull to read someones email that criticized & labled me as "dissingenuous" in my book.. how is it possible.. Im pregnant & looking for a family.. I dont get it.. *sigh* its sad for them.. cus I was misread...

You could always relinquish the child for adoption to your local county department of social services. Here in California, the counties have very nominal adoption fees. So money is not a factor at all, if that is what you are truly concerned about. I think it's sad that you're saying you're going to have an abortion, just because you're angry that Adoption.com isn't a matching service.

thats ONE perspective... im saying ITS DIFFICULT.. and exhausting.. you option for COUNTY SOCIAL SERVICES? Seriously.. tell me you are you kidding? I have the option.. to choose a nice happy home.. have a termination.. OR give it to the COUNTY.. haha the kid is better off NOT going to county.. I OPT FOR HAPPY HOME... but.. i refuse county services.. GEEZ..

THIS SITE just has soo much going on that I was overwhelmed with LINKS.. just when i thought I wouldnt find a solution.. THERE IS WAS.. whew.. informative.. helpfull AND hopefully a solid lead will come of it soon.. Im just motivated.. and eager to avoid a termination.. ( doing the happy dance) Using this site for adoption attorneys is better than doing a google search for them.. I was just tired of sifting through links & profiles & reading .. soo much data.. Im pregnant.. Im tired, grumpy, i need to get up & go to the restroom my back hurts from sitting here too long.. Im restless & I want to take a nap every few hours.. or take a snack break.. HOW can any pregnant wench get anything else done if she has to sit online for 8 hours a day looking through sites.. THIS forum.. was not easy to locate.. AND then.. i was being distracted by websites.. that just kept showing me parent profiles.. when I REALLY just needed to be referred to am experienced law firm that has been doing this for 25 years and makes it feel SIMPLE... cant wait to hear from them.. ( doing to happy pregnany wench wiggle) haha

There are lots of couples hoping to adopt and I really don't think you will have a hard time locating a good family. It sounds like you may be having an emotional day with all of your options going through your head but I really think if you take a little time searching you will find exactly what you are looking for. I think you said you have until May, and if thats the case just ask around do some research and worse case if it comes to May and you havent found anyone you can always contact project cuddles which happens to have been started by someone from California I beieve. Please reconsider a termination, and just think about your little munchkin that would be such a blessing to a good family and would make a families dream come true. Please keep us updated we really do care.

I sent you an email. I can give you some ideas of ways to look for a family. I am NOT soliciting your baby so please don't think that by my emailing you that is what is going on. Thanks, mommy2beesoon

I got your email and I tried to IM you through yahoo chat but I can't see if you are getiing my message or not. If you are responding it isn't showing up. Do you have aol instant messenger? I sent you my screen name through another email. mommy2beesoon