Advertisements
Originally Posted By LiliaMy husband and I chose to adopt from the State, after intensive research on how we wanted to Adopt.After a year the perfect little boy has join our family. We got him at age 2.4 years. The first month everything went smooth, and perfect. After the honeymoon was over what we believe Toddler behavior issues arose. From pitching a fit and throwing temper tantrums. Our little boy has been with us for five months, and when his having his moments of pitching fits or having a tatrum, my nerves explode I find it hard to know how to discipline him w/out yelling at him or giving him timeouts. I find myself creating a yelling pattern for any little thing he does wrong, and it frightens me, because that is not how I invision myself as a Mom.I am an intellegent educated individual who knows when to get help and where. But sometimes when I'm in the moment of trying to discipline my little boy's behaviors I forget everything I've read on how to do it or how to deal with the issue.I am basically posting this message for consolment than anything else, and what ever else comes out of it.
Like
Share
Originally Posted By L.B.We were foster parents for two years, than we got two little ones, brother and sister. We fostered them for about 9 months, then we were told they would be coming up for adoption, oh how we wanted them. We loved them as out own. For you see we have been married for 23 years now and never been able to have one of our own. We started adoption papers and everything was going fine, then the social workers decided because my husbands Dad was a alcohlic that he was one too, because he drank beer. My husband loved these kids we spoiled them bad at Christmas and everyother day of the year it was so much fun. For two months they put us through Hell. They wanted my husband to go to AA 5 days a week, take the pill that makes you sick if you drink, and about 5 five other things. The last time we met with them they added something else on, I had enough and stood up and left. After I left they ask my Husband if it would be ok if the new foster parents could come over and get to know the kids, My husband said if they are leaving they ar going today. You see my Husband would of done anything for the kids but I could not make him do all of those things, that was not right. It is still very hard to talk about this after 12 years, but I still don't think it was right. Ayear later the state wrote and sent us a picture of the kids and their new adoptive family. Talk about salt in the wounds. Sorry a rumbled on for so long just had to get this off my chest.
Advertisements
Originally Posted By JoyceI understand, I have a five year old foster child whom I am adopting (and hoping to get her two siblings) but I find myself falling into dysfunctional ways of responding to her tantrums. I keep reminding myself that I'm not perfect. As time goes on I get better. I read things on discipline and get help from her counselor. Giving myself healthy time off is great too. Hang in there! Time will help.
Advertisements
Advertisements
Adopting through foster care doesn't come without it's risks, but is surely worth it. We have had 18 foster children over the last six years with really no desire to adopt. However, with 2 of the children it just seemed they were the perfect fit with our family. We adopted a 6 year old girl and will soon adopt a baby that we have had since birth. He came drug addicted but is doing so well. He just turned a year and we just love him. I have heard of some adoptions happening quicker but ours seem to take a while. We will get a subsidy for both children until they are 18, all court costs were covered, and they will both have a medical card until they are 21. I live in Utah and there must be a lot of children in foster care since we get calls all the time to take more children. Even if the child is reunified with their birth parents it is a wonderful experience!
Advertisements