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I am wondering if anyone else has experienced what I am currently going through. I have decided to adopt through the foster care system. I am a 37 year old single female. I cannot have children of my own. I have experienced a lot of negativity about my adopting as a single person from the foster care system. People act like these children are hoplessly damaged goods and I don't know what I am getting myself in to. I actually was a foster child myself and adopted. I know the drill. I don't understand the negativity and lack of support.
I would like to adopt a infant-toddler, but it seems that that if I adopt through foster care, I won't get that. I am not being licesnsed as a foster parent but getting a homestudy stictly to adopt.
Can anyone offer some insight and encouragement?
Thanks.:hissy:
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I'm also a single female who's in the process of adopting. My homestudy has already been approved..I'm just waiting on a placement. You will find a lot of support on these boards. Thankfully I have a wonderful support system and don't understand why people would think of these children as such. I guess they are entitled to their own opinions though. However, you can't let it affect you.
Good luck on your journey!
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angel619
I'm also a single female who's in the process of adopting. My homestudy has already been approved..I'm just waiting on a placement. You will find a lot of support on these boards. Thankfully I have a wonderful support system and don't understand why people would think of these children as such. I guess they are entitled to their own opinions though. However, you can't let it affect you.
Good luck on your journey!
I am a single parent because I choose to be. I have adopted 2 boys from the foster care system. Both have some pretty high needs but are doing better and better as times goes on. I haven't heard much negativity and do have some good support. I would recommend looking for adoption support groups in your area.
I am a single mother and just brought my three kids home on Dec 19th. They are from the foster care system as well. During my decision time and throughout the homestudy there have been many who have supported my decision and a few who haven't, so it was easyier to just focus on the supporters. After bring the kids home some of those supporters have had a hard time adjusting to my new life and how our relationship has changed because of it. Since it has only been a month, I sure things will calm down a bit. It is hard without support but I am realizing that I just have to find it in other places since I know this is the right decision for me. I am in a fost-adopt support group which has helped me meet people in my same situation, I'm looking to hire some part time babysitter help (so my current support system doesn't just feel like I need them around to babysit) and I'm meeting new people that have more of my new lifestyle through the kids. It seems to be helping some but I'm sure the transition and adjustments will take some time for everyone. Because I know the decision I made was right for me, I just choose to surround myself with those who can support me.
Brandy
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Single fost/adopt parent here. I have had my current fc for over 19 months (got him as a young toddler) and hope to adopt him this year. If you really have your heart set on an infant/toddler, I suggest opening yourself up to fost/adopt. It can be heartbreaking as the children can be returned to their bio family but you are MUCH more likely to get a young child. It is also a good opportunity to see if the child is a good fit for your family before finalizing your decision. As for support, prepare yourself to change your social network as your current friends may or may not support your choices. Good luck.
My DD's Mom is a 41 (I think?) year old single Mother, and I know that she found a lot of support through the agency. The agency has family events that they attend and through these she has met other single parents that she has become very close with over the last year.My DD want through a fost/adopt agency (she wasn't taken from me, but I used Safe Haven) so she was placed as an infant with her Mom. We are now in an open adoption and loving it! It pains me to hear that people view children, like my daughter, as damaged goods. The connections you can make on here are also very great, but there is something extra helpful about having those support systems in person as well.Best of luck to you!
I, too, am a single woman hoping to adopt through foster-adopt. When telling people about my plans I have had all sorts of different responses- my favorite is an aunt who said "wow, you are brave!". I decided that people are entitled to their own opinions and that this WILL NOT change how right I know this decision is for me!! I know I will be an amazing mom and have soo much to offer a child.
I am glad to know I am not the only one who has this issue. The most recent shocking response I received when I told of adopting a child around 9 years old from foser care was, what is wrong with her? I was furious and it burned my britches to think that people look down on these little ones that are in foster care through no fault of there own! For a while it made me wonder about my own ability to parent because I was getting so much negativity, but I realized it was not me that people were reacting to, but reacting to scary stories they have heard of older foster care children. How sad. I, like you, believe I can be an amazing mother and can't wait to begin. Good luck.
______________
1/14/08- Contacted agency
1/21/08- Submitted all paperwork except doctor's notes
and fingerprinting...now am waiting for it all to
begin.
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I too, have had mixed responses to my adopting an older child. Most of the negatives have been "why do you want to start over?" I have 5 bio adult children. I am a single parent and hoping to adopt a child 6-11. I am glad to have read this post. I have had more positive responses but all it takes is one negative one to upset you:hissy: . Hang in there! We are here for you!:loveyou:
rascalchico
I would like to adopt a infant-toddler, but it seems that that if I adopt through foster care, I won't get that. I am not being licesnsed as a foster parent but getting a homestudy stictly to adopt.
Can anyone offer some insight and encouragement?
Thanks.:hissy:
Hi,
I am a single parent who adopted an infant about 10 months ago, though not thru foster care. I too started that route but didn't continue because I wanted an infant. Please don't let the negativity discourage you, those people who talk like that aren't thinking about the children and the wonderful thing you will be doing by giving a child in foster care a good home.
Good luck.
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The same boat single, wanting a toddler, and wanting adoption only. I was encouraged to foster to adopt but only in cases where TPR is inevitable. I am not sure what the next step is coz I am also looking into private adoption. I just don't want to miss out on anything by just focusing on one direction. Its scary though.....but with God's help all will be well
I am not single, but I have heard my share of nay-sayers. Even in my own family. However, like other things that are important in this life, the adoption process doesn't always come without a fight. That's okay. What I do is concentrate on the reasons I am adopting and I hold tight to what the Lord has purposed in my family. If I listened only to folks who didn't support me in this life, I may have never gone to college, married, had children or done anything else. Be strong and of good courage!! There is a child out there who needs a mommy for sure.