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Greetings! I have a unique situation. I want to take in this 16 year old boy who has worked for me for about 7 months. I have gotten to know him very well during this time even outside of work. He is an orphan being raised by his older step brother. Initially he was being raised by his step father after his mother died. He has no clue whatsoever where or who his father is or any other family. I have a hard time believing that CPS didnt get involved once his mother died. How could his brother have gotten away with this for so long? If processes were done how did the step brother gain custody? IҒm trailing off back to the point. During the time Ive known him he would come to work with bruises all over his face. He would say that he would get beat up and bullied in school. To cut to the chase I find out itҒs his older step brother. I told him I was going to call CPS and or the police. He freaked outӔ to say the least begging me not to saying no one will believe him/it will back fire. I made a foolish move and I resentfully backed off. I know of many stories of what he fears. I understand each process takes some time but I want to get him out of that situation ASAP Any help with the following questions would be highly appreciated: How did his brother maintain to keep custody of him?/Is it possible he stayed with his brother after his mother died without anything being mentioned? (legally) What would be the first move to get him in my custody without any back fire? Would I be able to take him in right away? What would I be better off doing? Legal guardianship or adoption? I know this will be a difficult process (raising an abused teen with a terrible past and what not) But I feel I am in too deep. I cant stand by while watching this kid get abused. HeҒs a good kid and he needs a chance and I am more than willing to help. I If I am not in the right place please guide me in the right direction.
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CPS would not necessarily become involved when a parent died; naming a guardian in your will means that probate court just needs to approve it (at least, I know that is how it works here), and that is really just a formality. The stepfather could then have signed guardianship over to the stepbrother, or the stepbrother could have temporary guardianship, or he could just be living with his stepbrother and the stepfather still have guardianship.You can't just get guardianship of a child. If the legal guardian signs guardianship over, you would be the guardian. But you have no standing to challenge the guardianship. If you have reason to believe that he is being abused, you can call CPS. If you try to take him in without permission from his legal guardian you could be charged with kidnapping, since you have no legal right to take him in. I know you want to help this child, but the best way to do so is to contact those (CPS or police) with the authority to do something for him. When he shows up injured, document it and call the CPS hotline and/ or the police.
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JZW110, your post was gut wrenching. I like you can,t help but feel so sorry for this kid.I side with ruth74 and believe she is right.You have to get someone with authority involved.My suggestion for your evaluation, is the next time he comes in battered, that you have a talk and tell him what you are going to do. A part of that chat also needs to be that you will stand by him and be a support for him emotionally. That, in and of itself, may not allay all his fears but it will helpThe kid needs help and he views the consequences of having anyone know, as disasterous. BTDT and wanted to move on to a better place and avoid ever looking back.I wish you the best.
ruth74
CPS would not necessarily become involved when a parent died; naming a guardian in your will means that probate court just needs to approve it (at least, I know that is how it works here), and that is really just a formality. The stepfather could then have signed guardianship over to the stepbrother, or the stepbrother could have temporary guardianship, or he could just be living with his stepbrother and the stepfather still have guardianship. You can't just get guardianship of a child. If the legal guardian signs guardianship over, you would be the guardian. But you have no standing to challenge the guardianship. If you have reason to believe that he is being abused, you can call CPS. If you try to take him in without permission from his legal guardian you could be charged with kidnapping, since you have no legal right to take him in. I know you want to help this child, but the best way to do so is to contact those (CPS or police) with the authority to do something for him. When he shows up injured, document it and call the CPS hotline and/ or the police.
eagleswings216
I agree with the others that you need to call CPS and let them handle it. When the mother died, if she had things legally set up (in her will), then guardianship could have been assumed by the step father. And the step father could have had it set up for guardianship to be assumed by the brother. I would guess that is what happened, as not having a legal guardian would cause issues with school, medical care, etc. There is no way to predict exactly what will happen when you call CPS. You will be asked to give the name, date of birth, and address of the child, as well as any information you have about the person you are reporting for abuse (the brother, in this case). The more info you have as far as address, phone number, etc., the more quickly things can be investigated. You will also be asked to report details of what you have seen - like size and location of bruises, and what the child has reported to you happened that caused them. CPS will investigate if they feel there is enough to investigate, and then they will decide how to proceed. The child might be removed from the home and placed in foster care, or he might stay in the home if they find the report is unfounded, or they might tell the brother he has to take certain steps (like counseling, having a social worker involved, etc.) to keep from having the child removed. There is no way you can tell the child for sure what will happen when CPS gets involved, and it is out of your control, but you really need to call and let them handle it. If you want to be a possible foster home, you will have to go through a process of finger prints, background checks, and training, and that takes some time. Even if they try and push things through for you, it can take time because they have to get the background checks and things back. But during that time, you might be able to have visits or have him still work for you, assuming the foster family lives nearby and the social worker is agreeable to it. Again, there are no guarantees. I know that's not what you want to hear, but that is the reality of the system.
I echo what eagleswing said. I have a will that sets out who will be my son's guardian should anything happen to me and also names a backup should that person be unable to assume guardianship or if something happens to her. Many, many parents have this all set out in their wills for the specific reason that if something happens suddenly we want to ensure our children are cared for. If the parents died without having named a guardian, the child would have become a ward of the courts. The stepfather or stepbrother could then have sought guardianship through the court. I had a friend growing up who was in this situation, and his mother's fiancee was granted guardianship."Man to man" is not always the best way to handle a situation. As eagleswing said, you can make an anonymous report to CPS, and that anonymity may be the best protection you and this child could possibly have. Going directly to the stepbrother will more likely make him defensive and unwilling to have anything to do with you or to let the young man have anything to do with you. You also say that the stepbrother "obviously doesn't want him there" but unfortunately just because someone abuses a child does not mean they do not want them there. People can abuse children they love, and even if they do not love a child they may not want to give up the power they have over that child. Most people will not take kindly to someone who is a stranger to them approaching them about their personal family matters, whether those relate to abuse or something else.
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These are a sharing of thoughts and they are for evaluation only, and not intended to interfere in a decision of how to handle concerns for the child. In view of the tenuousness of the situation and all of the factors involved, my suggestion is to talk with an attorney to establish what your legal standing is and what parts of the law can be used to help.Establish from him, if the next time you see the child with the battered child syndrome what if anything can be done, particularly in terms of the fact that you want to stop the abuse and adopt him.The next step is to talk to the child to see if he wants to be adopted and if in his eyes you are acceptable. It may be that he is afraid of an adoption, it may also be that the stepbrother is receiving income from keeping him through the estate, etc. To talk with the step brother will open the door to the possibility of change, which he may not want -- particularly if there is any income derived from keeping the child.The child is 16. The court will in most cases honor his wishes in regards to an adoption, (if he is willing) as opposed to the living arrangement he has. There is no question that additional abuse may be a factor for him if it became known that he was seeking outside help, or that someone was attempting to intervene. His fears of what may happen have to be known. He maybe tolerating the present situation until he is 18 when his plans are to leave.The attorney through his sphere of influence, may be able to work a few miracles and perhaps call in some favors to speed things up, should it get to that point.If for any reason, the child does not want to be adopted, all bets are off. The best that can happen is to allow those in the system to provide aid to stop the abuse.I wish you the best.