Hello and question

February 2, 2008

Hello - I'm an adoptee and while I'm not new to the "search" process, having done this on and off for the past 20+ years, I do have a question though.

I received an email from someone who's return email indicated a name of "Holly Martens" (@hotmail) in which the subject matter was my birth name and the body of the message stated "I will completely understand if you don't want to reply, but if you do, I have some information regarding your origins." and was not signed.

Is this person familiar to anyone here? I'm skeptical due to a bad prior experience years ago. I did respond with minimal info and said, yes, I'm intersted in any information they have. Since my birth name is out there on several different adoptee websites, I know it would be easy for anyone to find me.

Any advice? Thanks....

Sue K (a/k/a Michele)

Jackiejdajda

February 3, 2008

I hope it is legit..

My bson contacted me from a search site..

I had his non identifying info so we could make sure we had a match.. his amoms college years etc..

I have never heard of name tho..

Jackie

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MicheleCuratola61864

February 3, 2008

Thank you for the information. I have not heard back from the person who emailed me, however, she had sent that email on 1/23 - I didn't check my messages until yesterday.

The only thing I mentioned to the sender of that email was that "yes, I'm interested" and that it was important to me not to interfere in someone's life...i.e. I did not want to "show up" in a b/parent's life without their consent. I realize that, while I am open to reunion, others may not be. As a 43 y/o, I've come to understand that life doesn't always turn out as it should, and I want to respect the lives of those who gave the ultimate gift to me. The chance to say "thank you" would be wonderful, but not at the cost of bringing pain to my b/parent's.

Thanks again!

Jackiejdajda

February 4, 2008

As a 43 y/o, I've come to understand that life doesn't always turn out as it should, and I want to respect the lives of those who gave the ultimate gift to me. The chance to say "thank you" would be wonderful, but not at the cost of bringing pain to my b/parent's.

When I came out of secrecy.. the pain I felt was good pain.. pain I needed to sort and or feel..

Grief work.. my first therapist told me I had not done any greif work around the relinquishment of my son..

I needed to walk through it as stuffing the pain did not work for me..

I had my son in 1965.. So you were relinquished around the same time I relinquished.. I have started a thread on the history of this.. I don't have the link but if you put 'history' in the search box you will find it.. or heck check 'previous posts' of mine when you highlight my 'Jackiejdajda' nic..

Jackie

MicheleCuratola61864

February 4, 2008

I will definitely check out your thread on that issue.

I want to tell you from the perspective of an adoptee, I hope that you know what an amazing person you are. The giving of life and the giving of a chance at life and the sacrifice you made is something that most of us would not have the courage to do. I have, since I was a little girl, said prayers for my both my b-parents. As I got older my prayers changed in that I have always hoped and wished that they would have peace of mind and heart and not suffer from the decision to give me away.

I hope you have found peace in your heart. And if not yet, I will say a prayer for you that you will someday.

Thanks for taking the time to write. I do appreciate it.

- Sue

PS: I heard back from the person who emailed me. Either they are fishing for me to give them information so they can fool me into thinking that they have more info for me or they are being careful to see if I am in a place where I can handle some "truths" about my origins. I wrote back and said that I am open all information, good and bad - so pretty much, bring it on...we'll see. I won't get my hopes up - did that once before and it ended badly.