Need Suggestions: Still feel older and "different" than other families

I just ran across this post and wanted to chime in. I'm 44 and was 34 when my (bio)daughter was born. My husband is 49 now and we didn't get married until I was 31. We are so far behind others in our area. Most get married young and have several kids, so their youngest child is somewhere around the age of our only child. Most are grandparents at our age. I understand the feeling strange part. Some kids our daughter's age have parents who are so much younger that we have nothing in common including the way we raise our child. We're older and wiser. Now,we're soon to be foster/adopt parents who are hoping to take children 1-7 yrs old. We really get some strange responses from people about it. Don't you want to retire? Aren't you too old to have a baby? Can you really deal with getting up every three hours to feed a baby? etc, etc, etc.. We tried for years to get pregnant again and I completely understand how you feel about the pain of not being able to. I'm so blessed that I was preg once and had an incredible child. I said when she was born and still believe it now, that if she were the only one, she would be worth it all. It still hurts to see people who get preg at the drop of a hat and don't want to, or forget to take their pills and end up preg. You know what I mean. On the subject of having adopted children: I can't believe the things that people will ask about children. I know a grandmother who is raising her grandchildren.She is CC and they are CC/AA. She still gets people asking what race they are and if they are hers. How stupid is that? International adoption has been going on for years, people can buy sperm, thankfully it doesn't matter what "race" you are, you can adopt any child and so on, but there are still so many ignorant people who still think that a Mother must bear children that look like her or the Dad and if they don't, they must have an affair with the milkman! It's ridiculous. Your son should be proud of his heritage and it's ok for you to not answer their questions. It's none of their business. I don't think anyone should expect a person to explain personal details of their lives in casual conversation. I would say that if someone asks in a caring way, then it would be ok to offer that info. Perhaps they too are interested in adoption. Explain to your son that some people have no manners and that he might encounter those who think it is their right to know such personal info. Blood does not make family.(on soap box now!) That idea should be long dead. It is what keeps abused children going back to abusive parents in the system. That reunification is the primary goal instead of what is best for the child. It is why children get sent back to drug addict parents and the like. Until the blood makes family ideal is crushed once and for all, we will continue to have stupid people who think it's their right to ask about the race, family, or relation of a child instead of focusing on the actual child instead. Does it really ever matter where that child came from? (stepping off of soap box) I think the best thing you can do is what you've been doing- seeking out like age and like minded people to have meaningful conversation with. oracoke- I love your response about your daughter to the nosybody wondering if she was yours!