Changing Churches and family

I don't know how to tell her that she's being hurtful to me and that my son truly enjoys going to Church, Sunday school, Jr Church and Church events. He was so proud of himself after singing for the elderly at a sr. home, but because it was with Church and not Scouts, grandma really had nothing to say. This is really going to hurt him when he realizes what she's doing. I think you are saying it perfectly right there. You are being loving and kind and that is what needs to be done. If you say your peace and she still doesn't come around then it is on her.

I agree with Kelceesmom... Your mom probably views this move, which is not only a switching of churches, but religions as "personal". That is, however, her feeling to sort out. I gather this is a pretty recent move - give her some time to adjust (so long as it's not interfering with your childs feelings).

It really isn't a switching of religions. You are still Christian, just finding your own path. There is a reason there are so many denominations of Christianity. We all have to find our own path. Donn't worry about trying to convince her of anything. Just keep doing what you are doing: worshipping and learning in a way that works for you, and respecting her right to worship and learn in a way that works for her. Eventually she will get over it, especially when she is able to see that you are finding a much closer walk with Jesus.

I was raised Catholic too. I went to catholic school 1st-12th. (9th-12th was all girls only...ugh) The Catholic school/church helped you see the importance of togetherness and having a personal relationship with the Lord. I say your mom probably got you, can't change her church where she feels comfortable... and feels she has lost you and your son a bit. The Catholic Church groups/communities needs more awesome people as you, especially with all the scandalous events of the past with priests... The Catholic Churches might be safer now because of light being brought to all of the mess... I don't know...but since you wrote she isn't agressive. Have you ever asked about her groups/involvement with church? I feel its important to bring out positive in mom/grandma especially when you tell her you are coming after "your" church. When you feel yourself and or your actions becoming the reoccuring theme/drama then sometimes I believe its okay not to have a response and or excitement. Don't you?

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]I too was raised Catholic...Catholic school and all. My family is all Roman Catholic...DH's family is all Roman Catholic. Although they are non-practicing...only my Grandmother and one BIL & his wife go to church other than weddings, baptisms and funerals. [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]About a year ago we became very close with some neighbors...we started discussing religion and I mentined my 'need' to find a chuch family...to find somewhere that I could relate to. They suggested their church...mentioning only that is a Christian church. About a month ago...I finally was at the right place and I took the kids one Sunday morning. I LOVED it...DD is 6 and they have a seperate children's service...she LOVED it. Even my DS loves going to his class group. DD is even reading the Bible on her own and was the first in her class to memorize this month's verse. (Psalm 27:1) [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]My family is super supportive...even my 84 year old grandmother is happy. Some of DH's family is concerned because our kids won't go through the traditional Catholic rituals. These are the family members that don't even go to church. My response is (at least in my mind and to DH)...if it so concerns you...find a Catholic church you like, introduce my children to it, and take care of taking them weekly and preparing them for these specific traditions. I am now a proud Southern Bapist (although our pastor stresses Christianity more than a specific affliation.) [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I have found such meaning in every service I have attended...this is right...for me and my children and hopefully my DH who it is looking like will attend with us tomorrrow morning. [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I am concerned about tomorrow as we are spending Easter with DH's entire family...I know the comments will start...even thoough we will be the only ones who attended any service. I just plan on ignoring and sharing the words of our pastor...there are different churches so that everyone can find their way to the church that suits them perfectly. Getting to know God is what it is all about. [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]I could have written these exact words...hang in there and just gently let know how you feel! [/FONT]

Anglekisses - you are right on the mark! My parents don't attend Mass. My dad only attending for our Communions, Confirmations, my sister's wedding and my sister's childrens' baptisms and graduations - again Catholic school. Mom took us to Mass when we were small. As teenagers, we walked to Church on our own, my sister and I. Yet, my mom has been on my case for 4 years about getting my son baptized. That seems more important to her than him having a knowledge and relationship with Jesus. We have been attending weekly since Decemeber. In fact, we are the only ones in the family to attend Church regularly and it's like it doesn't mean as much because it isn't the Church of my upbringing. Personally, my view on being Christian is that it's all the same, the rules are different at each denomination. We all worship One God, One Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I think I'm better off attending a Church where I agree with the rules, than saying I belong to a denomination, but disagree with the rules or ignore the rules.

I've struggled, too. I was raised Catholic and still attend Catholic Mass. However, it sometimes doesn't fill the need. I love my faith. But as you said, I don't know anyone at my church. It's not personal at all. This past school year, I let my 9 year old go to a "Good News Club" afterschool on Tuesdays. She really likes it. My mother balked because she doesn't go to CCD this year. But I had 5 kids (4 under 4 years old) at the time and I just couldn't get her back and forth since the class was 7pm and the kids were in bed when class ended. The church who has "Good News Club" had an Easter Egg hunt this past weekend so I took the kids. They had a great puppet show for the kids, a play (the kids got to participate as "angels" or "roman soldiers"), a craft center, and the egg hunt. It was a lot of fun. The people were so kind and they had so many Easter activities. My church didn't have anything for the kids-although they ARE having an egg hunt next weekend. Easter Weekend for Catholics is about mourning from Good Friday thru Easter morning. So, no activities that are 'fun'. When I told my mother how much fun we had, she accused me of wanting to switch churches. Later, when we were at my brother's house, I told him what we did that morning and again she accused me of wanting to become protestant. I dunno. It's not so much that I want to be protestant as it is wanting a sense of community within the church. The whole time I was at the protestant church part of me was wishing it was MY church. But the Catholic guilt of not attending Mass & communion would kill me. But I KNOW the kids would love that church. It was just such a friendly & wholesome place. And it shares the same core religious beliefs. But my mother would do more than "change the subject" if I changed churches. She'd say I was going to the big fire! ;)

This happened to my sister. We were raised Southern Baptist and as an adult she found the campus Catholic ministry and converted. She had been away from the church for a long time. It took me talking to my Mom many times to get her to understand that she should be happy that her daughter is going church and taking her son with her. I think our parents' generation has such a different view on the whole denominations thing. I was raised in a church that taught that Catholics weren't Christian even though we lived in a Catholic heavy area of the state. Even as a teenager I knew that was so wrong. Perhpas you could approach the subject by qualifying her feelings about it. Ask her questions about what she feels because you have noticed she tends to not say anythign about your church life. If you allow her to express her opinions then you can tell her what has really happened to you. It sounds like you have found a place where you feel the presence of God and He is working in your life. ( I don't mean to say that God isn't in any other church, it's just that you found what you needed here) Explain to her how important this is for you and your son. It's possible that your decision is a slap in her face because she passed her traditions down to you and now you have abandoned them for something else. It might be hard for her to understand your need to go to another church, but at least she can hear your reasoning. Hopefully it will be hard for her to remain so cold while you have a smile on your face as you talk about your experiences. Be careful not to say anything bad about the church you left, particularly if it's her church.

I was raised Southern Baptist but when I adopted two daughters from El Salvador as a single parent I felt my church was less supportive than they could have been. I am now attending the Episcopal Church. Kat-L, you might find this a good compromise. They have the morning "mass" and communion but they also have a strong children's program. This year we had Wednesday Lenten dinners and on Saturday we had a "Bunny Brunch" where the family came to the church for brunch, the little ones got to meet the Easter bunny and do crafts, then a short Easter service and an egg hunt for the kids. My littlest one is five and he calls it "his church". He is always inviting people to come to "his church". All churches are different, but if you have one close by, it might be worth a visit.

Our new Baptist Church is also very active in the community. They had an Easter Egg hunt on Saturday. They had a Chrisian juggler - he was great! They had hidden over 2000 eggs! It was amazing. Pastor mentioned at service on Sunday, that over 300 kids participated. My son's Boy Scout magazine came in yesterday. He told me he didn't was a stupid scout magazine, he want's something with God and Jesus in it. He was funny about it.