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I am a single 35 year old female who wants to be a mom. I have been waiting for the right man to come along. LOL In the last 2 months I have had 3 people (none of them know the others) ask me (somewhat out of the blue) if I have ever thought about adoption. After lots of prayer, consideration and talking with extended family I have decided to begin this journey. It amazes me how much goes into this process. It is a little unnerving.
Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated. :)
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I wish I had been told that singles could adopt when I was your age. I didn't find out until past my mid forties, so now here I am almost 52 yrs old and I only adopted two and a half years ago.
I adopted an older child through foster care. It is so much fun to be a mother!
I have a friend who is younger and has been waiting for the right man to come along and she did not plan to adopt but wound up adopting her neice. She told me a few weeks ago that now she doesn't care if the right man comes along or not.
Just be aware that once you have a child you will be so terribly busy for several years. It is hard to still have a life of one's own. But it is very satisfying.
My recommendation is that you read lots of books about adoption and then when you decide what type of adoption you are going to do, then read specifically about the issues you might encounter.
Howdy, that is what I am doing. I work at a library and today checked out 4 books on adoption and the process. Right now I am leaning on domestic adoption. However, whether or not it will be from foster care, agency or private is still in the air. I am trying to do as much research as I can before there is any output of money.
I really am thinking I want an newborn or infant. I know that will make things tougher. However, I really want the privilege of naming a child. Maybe after a time of research I may change my mind.
If you want an infant then that is what you should look into first. I am not a baby person so I knew that would not be an issue for me. If I get hte chance to adopt again I will adopt an even older child. That is not right for everyone though. However, if the reason you want an infant is to name a child -- keep in mind you can also name an older child. I was adopted at age 7 years and my parents and I changed my name. When I adopted my daughter I had fully intended on changing her name (21 months at adoption) but when I found out her name I fell in love with it and decided to keep it. Just a thought,Samantha
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Hello Cookbooker, I am a 31 yo single woman who was also waiting on the right man that hasn't come along yet. I always wanted to be a mom and thought I would be one by now. One day I was just looking at things online and somehow started looking at articles about the shortage of parents for AA children and had an Oprah "Ah ha" moment. I feel like God has pointed me in this direction. If I had been married or had a child by now I may not have even considered adoption which now I am looking sooo forward to. If I meet Mr Wonderful tomorrow I would let him know my feelings about adoption and hope that we can adopt during our marriage. Maybe adoption is God's plan for you as well best of luck on your journey.
Single foster mom here. Have had my fosterson for almost 2 years (came to me when I was 39) and hope to adopt him this year. Fostering to adopt worked for me because I liked the idea of parenting a child prior to making a lifetime comittment. This isn't right for everyone as fost-adopt comes with much uncertainty. It was what was best for me. I love my son dearly; he came to me as a toddler which also was my ideal situation. P.S. I fostered an infant who came to me straight from the hospital and learned QUICKLY that parenting an infant as a single mom is not something I want to do. Good luck and ask anything you like - I'd be happy to answer with my opinions (FWIW).
Congratulations - deciding to adopt is a big step on the journey! I have adopted 3 times. Once from the state (straight adoption) and although I went into it asking for a toddler, I actually adopted a newborn.
Then I adopted independently (through an attorney) by advertising and matching with a birthmom. Then I adopted a newborn through an agency who matched me with a birthmom. All my children are caucasian (although I was open to race).
I agree that if you want a newborn, you should go that route first. My best advice is make sure that the professionals you choose to work with are successful at single parent adoption. The next important thing is to decide what types of situations you are interested in -race, gender, birthmom use of drugs and alcohol, possible health and mental illness issues are all things you can research and decide on.
I agree with everyone else that it is a very personal decision about what type of family - I love babies and am so glad that I have had that experience with my kids.
Let me know if you have any questions about domestic that I can help with.
And good luck on this journey - it is so worth it but at times it is hard to remember that!
I congratulate everyone who has chosen to adopt and do it alone. I am only 23 but I have decided that I dont want to wait around for "Mr Right". I have a 2 1/2 year old Biological son and want more kids while he is still fairly young. I also want to adopt an infant. I would love to adopt twins for an infant and toddler. I want to adopt and take two kids. But I dont want a child older then my son. I want him to be the oldest.
Good luck to everyone who is starting the process and congratulations to all who have finished.
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I too have been waiting for the right man to come along to no avail. I am 34 years old and just got approved for adoption yesterday! I started thinking seriously about it a few years ago and started the process last year. I am adopting through the foster care system and would like an older child--a girl. My adoption specialist gave me a picture of an 11-year-old girl yesterday that she thought would be perfect for me and now I have to wait and see if I am matched for her. I am scared to death at trying to do it on my own but also very excited. I know my life will change tremendously but I'm thinking the sacrifice will be worth it.
Just do a lot of research and ask a lot of questions--that's what I did, along with a lot of praying and soul searching. Good luck to you and keep us updated.
Hello - your post was the thing that made me finally sign up. I had no idea there were so many single parents, and waiting-to-be parents out there! I am 37, single, and if all goes as expected, will be a first-time mom to an infant due in about a week. Private, local, open adoption. Being a mom is the highest aim I can imagine, but I always had a husband/wife expectation in my mind. Once I mentally hurdled that, everything has literally transpired in a matter of 3 months...which I share because crazy-wonderful things happen! Good luck and go with your gut!
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As a young child (before I knew how babies were made), I told my mom that I was going to have lots of kids and live with her forever. I didn't move out until I was 23!
Mr. Right to me has always been a maybe he'll show up, maybe he won't. I've been an independant person paying my own way for a long time.
I was reading the Sunday paper one week, and there was an adoption information meeting coming up. It was on my birthday. That was a sign for me. I went. That was 6 years ago.
I went to the information meeting on May 11th. The following year, Mother's Day was May 11th. My son's adoption was finalized on May 8th. My first 'official' Mother's Day was on my birthday. However, I didn't know that it had been finalized. My son is an International adoptee. I picked him up on July 8th.
He is the light of my life. It's tough. But, I don't even remember what my life used to be like. I can't imagine my life without dance classes, ice skating, CSE meetings, soccer games and everything else that goes along with it.
I was 36 when he was born. I picked him up just after I turned 39.
If a Mr. Right comes along, fine, if not, I don't really care. I'm totally happy. I would like to adopt another child, but it may not be in the cards for me. My reasons for wanting to adopt again is so that when I die, my son won't be alone. I know, not a good reason.
God will lead me if it's meant to be.