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How would you have answered this situation.A friend of mine said that she was a school field trip, waiting for the kids to arrive on the bus. Another mom we both know, but not well started talking to her. My friend mentioned that she knew I would be coming when the kids came because I was the one gathering the kids lunches and getting them in a cooler and that I was checking to be sure that they had the wheelchair bus, otherwise I would have to drive my son. (there is only one wheelchair bus, it's a small school district) Well, this woman went off on my friend. She started telling her that she resented me because my son was taking away from her kids. First she said I was getting lots of money from the government and all I did was give birth to a deformed kid. My friend informed her that my son was adopted. Then the woman started talking about all the money I was still getting from the goverment for adopting him. My friend informed her that I get no goverment money, and she started in on how all adopted kids get money and medicaid. She mentioned that I had adopted him from another country so did not get any of that. That still did not satisfy that woman. She started in on how her insurance policies cost more because of people like me. She talked about how he took all the teachers time and stuff and that when he grew up he would be on disability and she would have to pay for him. My friend was dumbfounded. And about that point the busses pulled up. I knew something was wrong with my friend, but we did not get a chance to talk until later. I was livid. I mean first off my son's care that has to do with is disability is pretty much covered by Scottish Rite hospital, and they run strickly on donations. Our wheelchair van we bought with our own money, we paid two thousand dollars for his wheelchair, out of pocket. We also have a college fund for him. We fully intend for him to be self sufficiant. How ever, all of that is beside the point. I am willing to bet that if her child was born with a disability or God forbid was in an accident or had an illness that left him disabled she would want him to go to school. She would want him to have medical care etc. This woman has never spoken to me. I don't really know her well. I am not sure she realized that my friend and I were good friends. So any advice? My friend is wondering what she should say to her the next time the meet. I get the feeling this woman avoids me, but I am thinking of confronting her. Her son is not in my son's class, just in the same grade and they are not friends. It's crazy isn't it? I am still in shock.
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Lorraine, there are a lot of mean people in this world...this woman sounds pretty twisted in her anger. I think the hard economic times are bringing out the worst in some people, and we're hearing the backlash, i.e., the hatred of illegal immigrants, the intolerance for the disabled and elderly, and an increase in racism.If I had been in your friend's shoes, I think I would have said something to the effect of "I don't agree with you, and I'm offended by your vicious attitude." My mother often goes off into tirades about racial groups and impoverished people. I used to just ignore her, but I finally got fed up about 10 years ago. Nowadays when she says something negative about other people, I tell her that I'm ending our phone call because I will not subject myself to her racism and bigotry.Oh, you must be so angry and hurt. I know I would be absolutely furious if I were in your shoes. I don't know what the answer is...I wish I did. I don't know if it would help or not to confront this ignorant, hateful woman. One thing that has helped me deal with obnoxious people in my life is to pray for them. I don't know why it works, but it does...
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Wow. Part of me says that you are lucky that you don't really know her or interact with her. She sounds like a nutcase and there probably isn't much you can do to explain how things really are. It may just fuel her crazy fire. On the other hand I would probably be determined to have my say. That would put your friend in a bad situation. But I would still get riled up just hearing her name. Maybe there will be a situation where you and your friend are around her and can educate her. I hate when things like that happen. Small minded people don't usually change, they just change their targets.
Well...this is just me, but I would confront her. I would not only like to educate her but also tell her if I EVER hear of her talking about me and my family in this manner, spreading lies and untruths again, I'll sue her for slander.
Sorry...but you just don't mess with the kids. People can call me whatever they please but they smack down on my kids and they learn quickly they will never do it again.
I've been know to be a little sarcastic. Had I been your friend, I probably would have nodded my head in agreement and then gone off - "I know. They MAKE her send him to school. I don't know WHY? I mean, being in a wheelchair, how can that possibly learn anything? They should just park him in a corner and throw food his way a couple time a day"
When that stupid woman realized just what an idiot she was by my sarcasm, she would have been embarrassed and possibly walked away.
However, what's already done, is done. No way to get the sarcasm to do it's magic.
I might approach her though. "I understand that you seem to have some rather vocal opinions about my family. If you would like to share them with ME, I would be happy to correct your igonorance."
NONE of my children are money makers. Heck, if they were, maybe I'd get a couple more and retire. Oh, sorry, I digress, nor are they incapable of being hurt by your rude and vicious talk about things you do not know, understand or care to know about.
Any further discussion of my family with anyone other than myself will be considered for legal action.
OH, have a great day!
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qs mom
I might approach her though. "I understand that you seem to have some rather vocal opinions about my family. If you would like to share them with ME, I would be happy to correct your igonorance."
NONE of my children are money makers. Heck, if they were, maybe I'd get a couple more and retire. Oh, sorry, I digress, nor are they incapable of being hurt by your rude and vicious talk about things you do not know, understand or care to know about.
Any further discussion of my family with anyone other than myself will be considered for legal action.
OH, have a great day!
School is almost over so I am not sure I will see her again. It's a small town but we are not in any of the same circles, the only thing we have in common is kids in the same grade. However I think that if I see her again, with no kids in earshot, I may just have to give her a peice of my mind.
I am so sorry that there are people like that in the world... Even worse (IMHO) is the fact that her child / children will probably grow up with her same small mindedness. It would be cruel to experience her kids being mean to yours... (this comes first hand -- I was picked on in school and to this day, 30 plus years, I often think about thier cruelness to me.)
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I thought of that and asked both my son and my neice who is in the same grade and they both said he is very, very shy and hardly talks to anyone. They said some kids pick on him, but assured me they don't (which kind of made me laugh since they are the smallest two kids in the class and my son is disabled and my neice is pretty shy. Anyway, it seems the kids is uncorordinated and not good in sports and also not good in school. I wonder now if she is angry because her own son is not who she wanted him to be. Her husband grew up around here and was a total jock. Not sure what I will do now. I think I will spend some time in prayer. I don't know, a part of me feels sorry for this woman.
My answer will not be the popular one, but I would not do anything at all. what a sad, stupid woman. She is so over the top dumb that when she opens her mouth who ever is within ear shot is going to realize that she is a narrow minded idiot. My mother used to always say "Don't stoop to their level." When I was a kid I didn't understand that. Now I totally get it.
Bite the bullet, this woman should be pitied. She is trying to raise herself by putting someone else down, and all she is doing is digging her own hole. How sad for her, it must be terrible walking around without a brain.
Okay, just had to mutter a few mean things, but really, I would make a point of NOT responding to her cruel remarks. Take the high road.
mrsred
How sad for her, it must be terrible walking around without a brain.
I know how angry you must be. Speaking as a blind, adult adoptee, I think confronting her would be a waste of energy, time, and would really have no effect on her. The best way to show her the error of her ways is to continue just as you are. Encourage your child to be all he/she can be. There are always going to be people who just never get it.
The best revenge...be happy and help your child succeed. When he/she does...then look at her and smile.
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Problem is, someone that flat-out stupid and insensitive might not even get the sarcasm! Idiots generally don't.
qs mom
I've been know to be a little sarcastic. Had I been your friend, I probably would have nodded my head in agreement and then gone off - "I know. They MAKE her send him to school. I don't know WHY? I mean, being in a wheelchair, how can that possibly learn anything? They should just park him in a corner and throw food his way a couple time a day" When that stupid woman realized just what an idiot she was by my sarcasm, she would have been embarrassed and possibly walked away. However, what's already done, is done. No way to get the sarcasm to do it's magic. I might approach her though. "I understand that you seem to have some rather vocal opinions about my family. If you would like to share them with ME, I would be happy to correct your igonorance." NONE of my children are money makers. Heck, if they were, maybe I'd get a couple more and retire. Oh, sorry, I digress, nor are they incapable of being hurt by your rude and vicious talk about things you do not know, understand or care to know about. Any further discussion of my family with anyone other than myself will be considered for legal action. OH, have a great day!