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Good afternoon; I have been reading this forum as much as possible in the last few days. We are older parents (well, some would say really old but we neither look it, act it or feel it) who are considering adoption to complete our family. We are 50 and 59 with three bio kids 13, 10, 8. I always figured if we adopted we would do so interntationally but my husband has a pretty strong preference for domestic (cost and logistics). We are open to race, older than newborn and possibly some drug exposure but we would like to adopt a girl. One agency I contacted blew us off completely and another was nice enough but said between our ages, wanting a girl and having other children already we probably would not be selected. I have always heard it was really important to know what you were comfortable with and to stick to your guns but now I am wondering if this is even possible. I know foster adopt is an option but I am a little afraid of it. I could use some encouragement and/or names of agencies that are open to families outside the "norm." I never really thought of us like that but I guess we are. Thanks,Jenny
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First, let me suggest you also post this on the forums for older parents too. I think you'll find a lot of encouragement there too.
Secondly, let me say that I don't think your ages will necessarily prohibit you from adopting. It's probably true that you'l wait longer for a gender preference....but that's not a sure thing.
I'm taking the liberty of pm-ing you some suggestions of agencies/attorneys. It's true that there are some 'unenlightened agencies/attorneys who'll turn you away; who won't realize that people are adopting older and older these days....but hey, there's not a lot you can do about it.
I would discourage you from adopting through the foster care system (and others here will encourage you, I'm sure). For us, going through the foster care system was NOT a good choice, and we lived to tell the tale.
Further, I think if you're really wanting a baby (even older baby) of that age, chances are you'd wait some time before having one through the foster care system. (I know this isn't always, and depends on where you live....but generally, the fc system isn't known for placements of itty-bits.)
And, there are those in foster care who'll not allow you to adopt a child of the age you're speaking, because they may feel you're too old.
Okay, I hope this helps. Please feel free to pm me if I can help in any way.
Sincerely,
Linny
PS....I'm older too. Dh and I just turned 51 and we have three little ones still at home....all adopted as babies......now 6yrs, 5yrs and 17months. :)
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