Why should we be grateful?

Thank you Kathy. In case you didn't know, you, and Raven, have been adopted by me as my, uh..hmmm...adopted birthmothers? lol Beth, and Dickons are my adopted Bsis's to make up for the Bsis that didn't want contact. Ha, two for one. sounds like a good deal to me. lol BTW, funny thing about it all, would you believe that my BPs think I'm the one doing the rejecting, especially Bmom. She's actually telling everyone that. lol Had the whole family mad at me for a while, but it didn't take long for everyone to figure it out. Thank God. Bdad, I can only guess, probably feels I've rejected him too. I give up. lol Sheesh, sometimes you just can't win. lol I dunno, I kinda think I got the better end of the deal, kwim?

kathy, you can mother me anytime! I dont think I could ever have too many mothers. Especially ones that like to cook :)

adopted bsis... now that is funny! and confusing LOL Shadow, you and Dickons are definatley more sisterly to me than my own snooty goody goody bio sister! Sounds like a good deal to me.

You don't have to feel grateful. No more than anyone else should feel grateful. If you are angry it's much better to express it than to swallow it. You didn't ask to be born or conceived. This ridiculous stance that somehow adopted children should be gracious is enough to make you want to scream. The abandonment and subsequent rejection is huge. You don't need to apologize my friend. Let it out. Perhaps it will enlighten people to the fact that there are no quarantees that giving a child up will in fact allow the child a better life. When you relinquish a child you lose the right to insure that child is looked after. It's a huge gamble. You have the right to have contact as the biological parent or not. And the adoptive child has the right to feel whatever they feel as well. Keep posting whereever you see fit. Abortion is an option and with that comes grief. But the number of children who have suffered under the hands of people who adopt causes grief as well. Sometimes the grief is lifelong. People tell themselves "fairy tales" about how the child will have something better than they could provide. Some situations work out and some don't. The only way to insure that a child you have concieved is looked after is to do the job yourself.

You people cannot dictate how a person feels. what they have experienced or suffered in their lifetime.. It is soo freaking wonderful that a certain few of you here have had the perfect warm and fuzzy adoption experiences, but I have to ask this...... Why are you living and breathing on these boards demeaning and debasing other peoples experiences if your adoption experiences were so wonderful???? Once again: The only victim in adoption is the child..... If your adoption experiences have been so warm and fuzzy... Why are you here living vicariously through adoption boards and those of us who have experienced all of the negative adoption norms such as abandonment issues, abuse issues, reactive attachment disorder of varying degrees, and all of the other emotions related to adoption, abandonment and sociatel stigmas.... With your wonderful experiences being so wonderful why arent you with your a-moms or other family members having happy time like most families and moms and daughters do???? Do yourselves a favor STOP trying to tell people that what they have lived through and experienced is wrong.. It isn't wrong if they have lived through it and survived it... Like Rape no one wanted it to happen nor did they ask for it to happen....It just happend and is what it is..

2xsLostChild, It would be helpful if you actually addressed "who" you are speaking to, as this thread is years old. Kind regards,Dickons

2xsLostchild, you raise many many valid points in your post, many which need saying but I have to respectfully disagree with your point below: Adoption is all about loss and everyone touched by adoption has some loss. If its adoptive parents losing the dream of their biological child who can bond with them like biologic child, or a birthmother losing her baby or the adoptee losing his geniological and ancestral self. In some cases (not so much nowadays) the birth mother wasn't even in control - some were forced to relinquish their baby.

I've deleted three posts from this thread. One post violated our Forum Rules - the others were response to that post.This thread has required an excessive amount of moderation - as a result, I'm posting a FINAL WARNING.If you can't follow our rules (which include the requirement that you be kind and respectful on the forums) then we'll close the thread and/or ban your account.Kind and respectful participation is not a suggestion, it is a requirement - plain and simple.

Brandi, I think you would find 100% agreement with the adoptees on this board that this thread should go away and never be seen again. You agree don't you? Kind regards,Dickons

That might be one thing most adoptees would be grateful for. Sorry, couldn't resist.

I know I would.

"A place for adoptees to share their positive adoption stories about how their birthparents choosing adoption over abortion impacted their life." Can I put my vote in the suggestion box that the above statement, the thing that caused this thread, could be changed a bit? Just leave out two words...please? Wouldn't this work just as well? "A place for adoptees to share their positive adoption stories about how their birthparents choosing adoption impacted their life."

Although i don't agree with the forum title, i don't really mind it because with free will, we're all allowed to choose to disagree/disregard. Maybe the idea could help some adopted persons.

OK so now we choose to ignore and banish / hide bad adoption experiences.....Kinda like in the years past where rape, child abuse and molestation were kept in a deep dark cellar so no one knew... Kinda like saying it is a rape victims faulkt for being raped. How Sick is that?? I know ignorance is bliss and a choice... Proves my point 100 per cent.

Alright, I think this thread has outlived it's usefulness and it's turned into something else totally. Time to move on...nothing to see here :D