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I got my first "adoption issue" question from Nick today. "Why doesn't Munchkin live with us?"I explained that, like Papau and Yia Yia (my parents), people just live in different places and that Munchkin lived in her state with her Mommy and Daddy. He accepted this.For those who have been there and done this, when did you know how to actually explain that you birthed their sibling? And other age appropriate issues... I guess I just wasn't expecting this so soon.
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I don't have any answers as I'm trying to figure out how to explain things to Natalie on my end. She's around the same age as Nick (2.7 yrs) and she has just recently asked her first question after a visit with her bio-brother. She asked me if he was "ours"....I think she thinks that I placed him with C? She wanted to know why he doesn't stay here with us. I explained to her that C is his only Mommy and that he has to go with her. Arg....tough stuff!
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Well, we're well into this whole adoption thing here (12 and 13) - so we've hit most of the 'norms' including the "I hate you, why didn't you give me away like you did M, I would be better off!" crap...recently.
Personally, I just answered. Like you did. I've explained why I placed, as best I can.
He gets it - and there were never really any follow up questions. He asked, I answered, we moved on.
It got harder, this past winter, when M came to live with us with her mom. He just couldn't wrap his head around her having a different mom and would often say "Mom says its ok, so we can do this" not thinking that "mom" for her is a different person.
In the end, its just kind of a non-issue. Like any other topic...he asks, I answer, we move on.
There is no right or wrong...not really. Whatever you do will be right for you and your family.