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Hello all! I really need to talk to some people!!
A little background: My husband and I have been married for 11 years, and we have 1 child together. We are Southern Baptist, and we truely believe that God is not ready for us to be finished having children. As much as we believe this, we have been trying for over 6 years to have another child, and we can't. There is no medical reason for why we can't, and we truely believe that it is because God has something different planned for us.
I have been looking at the adoption process and the pros and cons of all different types of adoptions for the last year or more. The longer I look, the more I feel like this is what God has planned for us. There are many things I am afraid of. I don't know where to begin, or which type of adoption is best, or if we can even afford this process. All I can do at this point is know that if this is what God's will is for our family, He will provide me with everything I need. My husband is ready, but we share the same concerns and beliefs that God will provide.
I don't really know what I am looking for outside of just someone to tell me that this is not a horrible process and to help guide me in the right direction. We just want more information so that we make good, logical decisions. We have been in this process so long that we are really past the "being lead strictly by emotions" part, but I know that once I get into this, my emotions will be strong. I want to be well educated in this process and make smart decisions so that this can be a wonderful process for us. I know anything can happen, but I just don't know that any of us can take a huge emotional loss.
Is there anyone that reads this that understands where we are or has any advice for a God loving family that would like to welcome another member?
Thanks so much! :thanks:
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HI, I am normally not on this board, but wandered by today. As to what kind of adoption is right, only you and your husband can make that decision. That is something you will need to pray about and then listen for the answer. Some things to think about to narrow it down will be: What age of a child do you want to adopt? (keeping in mind that most experts reccomend you stay younger than the child you already have) How many children do you wish to adopt? If you want more than one, perhaps a sibling group longing for a family who will keep them together would be a good bet. How much money can you spend. Only you can decide what you can really afford, or how much you can borrow or whatever. Are you willing to accept a child of a different race? Are you willing to accept a child with special needs? Are you willing to have the child's birth family in your lives?Pray about each of these and then listen to each other and to God. Then you can move to the next step.
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Hi, 'Lookingatadoption'. I know you posted a while ago, but thought I would share our story in hopes you check this again sometime. I have a similar story to yours. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We had our bio boys 18 months apart without 'trying' and tried for 4 years to have more children. Even before the boys were born I felt led to adopt. My husband did not. Through lots of prayer (and lots of me nagging) I finally got him to attend the informational meetings. He came around once he realized I was truly feeling God's hand in this. Going through the classes was very scary. Some of the stuff you hear is not pretty. I ended up questioning what God was doing and began praying that I would become pregnant. Well, I did, but lost the baby very early on (I learned the hard way to 1- don't question God and 2- pray for a healthy child NOT just the pregnancy part -- I can laugh about it now). Anyway, looking back I am so thankful for the blessings He has brought us. The children we currently have and hope to adopt are worth all the trials and tribulations. They are not perfect and came with a boat load of issues that we did not expect, but we love them none the less. We would not have thought we could deal with some of the things we have been forced to, but with God on our side we know we can do this.
We attended several different open houses for adoption agencies when making our decision. We are foster to adopt through the state so have not had to pay out of pocket for anything as far as home studies etc go. There is even some reimbursement for attorney's fees if you adopt through your state.
Hope this helps you in some way. God bless.
Thanks for that! It was a little helpful. I have looked into adopting through the state. Currently, they only have teenagers, and with my son only being 8 (almost 9) I don't think that's best. I also want to be careful about putting a "difficult situation" in the house with the child God has already given us. If it was just us, I wouldn't be as worried. I just feel like it is my first responsibility to take care of the gift God already gave me.
I've been everywhere looking at everything I think! lol Everytime I google search, I've already looked at all of the pages it gives me. lol I know there is an answer, and I may just have to be still and listen for a while. I'm getting so tired of being patient, but I know it will be worth the wait when I get what God has planned for me rather that something I went out and did on my own.
All of these things sound right, and it is really easy to say. lol It just isn't as easy to live. I want to be done yesterday and be holding a baby while I type to you, but it just doesn't happen that way. 6 years of waiting feels like an eternity, and I'm so tired of getting the phone calls from all my friends about the prenancy they didn't want but will be happy with they guess. It's just painful.
I was really hoping someone could give me more direction, but everything about adoption is so personal, I guess no "one way" is completely right. It's all just what you can deal with. There are so many different agencies, and I was hoping to hear from someone who had a wonderful experience and could tell me which one to contact. That's more overwhelming than anything I think!
Thanks so much for your reply, and we'll see what happens! I'm just going to keep praying, and hopefully God will just start leading us in the right direction when He is ready!
I know exactly what you and your husband are going through. My wife and I have been married nearly 18 years and we have one child, a son who's 12. We're Baptists and feel that God has led us to adopt internationally. We are currently in the adoption process and are finishing up our home study. After this we will begin our dossier as well as begin applying for grants. I started a blog to document our journey as we trust God. The blog is at [url=http://snapshotsfromourjourney.blogspot.com/]Snapshots From Our Journey[/url]
If you have any specific questions you can reply to me on this forum or on the blog. We will also be praying for you both as you undertake this amazing opportunity.
Elliott
Hi friend! That's so wonderful you and your husband are considering adoption for your family. I know it's not the Lord's will for everyone, but it's obvious you're really seeking Him for this. So, first of all, I just wanted to say that I'm going to be praying for you, asking the Lord to make it clear to you what direction He wants your family to take. Secondly, along with all the great advice you've already received, I wondered if you'd be interested in taking a look at this [URL="http://icareaboutorphans.com/ConsideringAdoption.aspx?=1157699"]website[/URL] and [URL="http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/adoptive_families/adopting_children.aspx?=1157699"]article series[/URL] from Focus on the Family that's aimed at parents who are considering adoption? I'm with Focus and we get questions like yours a lot and this seems to provide some good info. So, just FYI! Well, I hope your able to find the information you need. Blessings to your family!
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