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I just gave birth last Tuesday to a baby girl. I am single and only 20 years old. I have been going to counseling and had decided to place her for adoption, but that all changed after I gave birth to her. As soon as I had her, I fell in love. She is in foster care now, and I am hating every minute of it. And I am mad at myself for putting her there. I am going to see my counselor tomorrow and I told her that I was thinking that my decision has changed- I now want to parent her. I have a very supportive family (mom, dad, and sister). The rest of my family doesnt even know I was pregnant because most of my pregnancy took place while I was away at school-but I am sure they will love her. I know I will have some explaining to do if I keep her. And I know life wont be easy. I know I will have to sacrafice certain things because of her, and I am okay with that. I didnt think 'love at first sight' existed, until I met her. I cant stop thinking about her. I thought I knew what I wanted to do-- I didnt think I wanted to see her, or hold her-- but I ended up seeing her, holding her, feeding her, and changing her. Am I wrong for now wanting to parent her? Is it possible to raise her and give her a good life while being only 20 and single? (I know Ill have my family there, but overall itll be my responsibility.) Im afraid I have already failed as a parent. I wasnt even willing to give us a chance- and now I am crying every night because I want her back. If someone could give me their opinion or life experience I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
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Thanks for the beautiful update on little Emma and you. She is so adorable and looks like she just might keep you busy! My oldest son shares her birthday, he will be 19. Congrats on the new man in your life, he sounds like he just might be the one and that he loves little miss Emma very much. Keep us updated.
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I am so happy that things are going well for you. Your daughter is a looker! Its is such a wonderful thing to read about such a successful single parenting story and how mother and child were able to stay together and build a wonderful life. Good luck with your studies on on the right path I think! AND oh...good luck with that soldier boy of yours.:cool:
I think it is a good idea to keep your baby girl. You are making the right decision, I am sure that if you don't keep your baby you will regret it the rest of your life, because you have already changed your mind. You CAN raise her as a single mommy, and she will love you and one day thank you for your decision. God is always with you and will not leave you alone in this adventure...it is a great adventure to raise a child, I have five and I love them, I am also a grand-mother and love my grandkids. Believe me when I say that you CAN raise her to be a good loving young lady, and if you already have your family support, that is GREAT! I will be praying for you, your baby and your family. Good luck and GOD bless you for the right decision.
famousgloria9
I just gave birth last Tuesday to a baby girl. I am single and only 20 years old. I have been going to counseling and had decided to place her for adoption, but that all changed after I gave birth to her. As soon as I had her, I fell in love. She is in foster care now, and I am hating every minute of it. And I am mad at myself for putting her there. I am going to see my counselor tomorrow and I told her that I was thinking that my decision has changed- I now want to parent her. I have a very supportive family (mom, dad, and sister). The rest of my family doesnt even know I was pregnant because most of my pregnancy took place while I was away at school-but I am sure they will love her. I know I will have some explaining to do if I keep her. And I know life wont be easy. I know I will have to sacrafice certain things because of her, and I am okay with that. I didnt think 'love at first sight' existed, until I met her. I cant stop thinking about her. I thought I knew what I wanted to do-- I didnt think I wanted to see her, or hold her-- but I ended up seeing her, holding her, feeding her, and changing her. Am I wrong for now wanting to parent her? Is it possible to raise her and give her a good life while being only 20 and single? (I know Ill have my family there, but overall itll be my responsibility.) Im afraid I have already failed as a parent. I wasnt even willing to give us a chance- and now I am crying every night because I want her back. If someone could give me their opinion or life experience I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
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Congrats on at least considering adoption. Adoption is a very hard and personal choice. My best friend had the resources to single parent at 20, whereas I was 17, and I didn't have my parents willing to help, or the situation so adoption was best for me. I am now 20 and a single parent (I'm divorced) to a 15 month old son. It will be the hardest and most time consuming, but in the end, it was your choice, so remember that as you choose to raise her. Along with the bad, comes the good in either choice you choose. Good luck.
Hey everyone! Just wanted to update you all- first off, Emma is now almost 19 months! Completely full of energy and laughter and love. She absolutely loves life. I could NOT have made a better decision when she was born. As for me- if you remember in my last post- I mentioned dating a guy in the Army?.. well, we are getting MARRIED! Yes its true- I said it back then that I thought he was the one I would marry- well its happening! This summer (June), I will officially be an Army wife! Besides Emma, he is the best thing that happened to me. He loves Emma so much and I really could not ask for anything better. We are our own little family and we cannot wait to expand it-eventually lol. I hope all is well for you all! <3 -Kate
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Hi everyone! It has been forever since I have posted on here! Well.... I married the man I mentioned last time I posted, we have now been married for 2.5 years! Emma is a smart, sassy, and beautiful 4 year old... can you believe it!? Last Sept we welcomed a little boy to our family... Emma is a great big sister and Brody loves her! I hope you are all doing well... 4 years ago I was just getting used to Emma and now look at me. I also received my bachelors this past year. I am sooo loving life and my babies!
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Hi famousgloria9, I placed my baby boy for adoption 10 years ago, and I miss him dearly every day. At the time, I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, drug abuse, and I was homeless and broke. I had no support system, I actually was afraid my family would try and take the baby from me anyway if I tried to keep him. I searched and searched for adoptive parents online and found a wonderful family for him who had already had a previous birthmother change her mind after giving them her baby for a couple weeks. That was one of the major reasons I chose them, because I knew I would fall in love the baby when I saw him, and I also knew I couldn't put those poor people through losing another baby. I knew I simply didn't have the emotional strength to take care of him. No motherly instinct, or maternal feelings at all. It sounds to me like this is not how you are feeling. It sounds to me like you really believe you can give this child a good life and try your best to give this little girl everything she needs. If that's how you feel then do it!! And don't ever look back! Just because you had a difficult time making the decision, doesn't make you a bad person. Accept that you made a bad choice and move on. Nobody's perfect.
Hi famousgloria9, I placed my baby boy for adoption 10 years ago, and I miss him dearly every day. At the time, I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, drug abuse, and I was homeless and broke. I had no support system, I actually was afraid my family would try and take the baby from me anyway if I tried to keep him. I searched and searched for adoptive parents online and found a wonderful family for him who had already had a previous birthmother change her mind after giving them her baby for a couple weeks. That was one of the major reasons I chose them, because I knew I would fall in love the baby when I saw him, and I also knew I couldn't put those poor people through losing another baby. I knew I simply didn't have the emotional strength to take care of him. No motherly instinct, or maternal feelings at all. It sounds to me like this is not how you are feeling. It sounds to me like you really believe you can give this child a good life and try your best to give this little girl everything she needs. If that's how you feel then do it!! And don't ever look back! Just because you had a difficult time making the decision, doesn't make you a bad person. Accept that you made a bad choice and move on. Nobody's perfect.