Why do they move so much?

that's awful! but yet a really good example of how a cw doesn't prepare a parent for the placement. so often they tell the receiving parent that there are no issues...when there are SO many. i sometimes think they do this to give the kids a clean slate....but sometimes parents caught off guard weren't prepared to deal with the issues that came. i'm pretty sure i could NOT have dealt with some of the issues you mentioned above. they do a great disservice to these children when they lie (and i know this is not always...but it is too often). the children i ended up adopting came with a similar story- no issues, cream of the crop. yeah.....bunch of liars. turns out they had so many placements no one really knows how many homes they were in the 3 year period before they got to me. everyone's records are different. they were "returned" to the group home sometimes after only a week in a placement. no issues? right......but what frosts me the MOST is that after a few months we suspected something was going on and we asked.....no issues they say again...we ask for a psych eval, we are told they never had one and there is no need for one. FINALLY, nearly 2 years later, months before finalization, they tell us that the kids need a psych eval. really? we take them....it is NOT good AND TURNS OUT THEY ALREADY HAD ONE! a week after we said we'd take them as a placement and a few days before they moved in.....and there were PLENTY of dx of concern on them both! yet we were never told....even though we ASKED! i suspect they were having a heck of a time placing them and just needed them to be somewhere.....but in LYING to me about it, it greatly delayed us seeking appropriate help for our children and nearly drove us to disrupt bc we couldn't figure out to deal with 2 "perfect" kids with "no problems." when i reported problems to the cw i was made to feel like i was CRAZY! once we got the dx and read up on them, we realized immediately what we were doing wrong and were able to start the healing process. but it would have been alot faster and healthier in this house had they been truthful.all that to say....sometimes, cw's are not truthful about the REAL issues. and not everyone is equipped to deal with every problem. as foster parents we are told to expect the worst....but when the phone rings and they spin tales of joy and happiness and leave out the realities ....it only sets everyone up for failure.

One other reason for a move is that they are placed in the original foster home for an evaluation. This occurs most often with newborns. I know that I get newborns for a 2 - 4 week period to evaluate what level of foster home they need. Do they need a home where there are no other children because of high needs due to drug/alcohol withdrawal. Would a placement with a new foster family (new to the system) be a good fit because the baby doesn't have many medical issues? Does the child have mild to moderate medical needs that would allow them to be in a level 2 home? Another reason is that perhaps the first foster home does shelter care only. I know that here, the first 2 weeks a child is in care it is considered 'shelter care'. After that the child may stay in the original foster home, or be moved to a longer term home.

When my son was placed with us as a preadoptive placement, we were "home" number 15, in 8 years (that includes 2 reunifications). (He was 11 at time of placement). In reviewing his profile, I noticed he was never anywhere longer than 7 months, except for 1 reunification with biodad until biodad was arrested/convicted of molesting a 14yr old girl and the first 3 years of his life with both bioparents. That said, he was 1 of 4 the first two times taken into care. (now he's one of 6). At some point the group of 4 were split into 3 separate homes, 2 girls staying together. Then his lying/stealing caused homes to ask that he be moved. Other times he was moved due to a change in foster care level (ie therapuetic vs regular). Other times were documented for other than child's behaviors (but it doesn't say exactly what). He's been with us for over 13 months now and has SIGNIFICANTLY improved. The constant moving DID cause additional "issues" or worsen certain behaviors he already had. So it is upsetting to see 8 years of my son's life spent at 14 different places and what that has done to him. So much disruption isn't necessary, but it does happen. And I have to admit, I have been on the other side of the coin. We were licensed as fost to adopt, where we only wanted low legal risk placements, (we wanted a boy, a boy and girl, or 2 boys). We got a call for 2 sisters (11 & 12) coming into care for their first time, the night before thanksgiving. It was the 11yr olds bday, and they were desperate to place them. It was only supposed to be a weekend, then a month til the hearing, etc... it turned into almost 6 months. Once we found out that the county was going to recommend the girls not be returned to home and they were going to spend another 6-12 months in care, we asked that they be moved to a long term foster home, as we were starting to do straight matching and we didn't want to have them moved only once we were placed, as we felt that would do even more harm to them. They were EXTREMELY attached to biomom, and knew us as a foster mom/dad and called us by our first names, but I know the move still caused some additional heartache, even just based on the unknown, going to another strange house, having to change schools after making friends. It was an EXTREMELY hard decision for my DH and I and we didn't make it quickly or lightly, but it was the right one for us at the time. And the girls were great girls with very mild issues, so it wasn't their behaviors that caused the move, it was the situation. I do think they ended up in at least 2 more homes before they were reunified with biomom. The home they went to after leaving us, I had recommended them not to go to (they had a weekend visit before the final move), as I thought the fostermom would get too overwhelmed. They lived kinda far for all the visits they were required and she ran a daycare in her home, had 2 3 year twin boys (one medically fragile), and was 8 months pregnant. I believe they didn't stay there very long. We're actually in the process of being considered for an 8yr old girl. We have an interview next week (one other family is being considered as well) and she spent 2 years at the same foster family (8yr old and her 3 younger siblings). They are being separated for adoption, so she was moved to new foster home when the others were placed in their preadoptive home, as the fostermom needed a "break" as she was tired after having the 4 of them. I find the 2yr stay in one foster home a rarity.

I have only one thing to add about moving. In the case of Queenie and her sibs, the older kids were very emotionally challenged. Initially 3 of them went to an aunt and the other to a friend's house. The mom became dangerous to the families, so the kids were removed to foster care. From our home, two of them went to short term psychiatric placements and then to a shelter because there were no families willing to take them. The other one went to an assessment facility and then to a therapeutic home. Because there was a bed available and it was in county, the judge in the case moved Queenie to be with her sister. From there, the judge ordered the kids sent to a relative. The relative kept them for several months before sending one back to the shelter. He was placed with a family later. The other three came back into care a month ago. Our agency set up a home for the older 2 (on the suggestion of the placement worker) and Queenie was coming home. But, the judge in the case insisted that the 3 be placed together and in the home county. So, sometimes, multiple moves are part of the judge's issue. The judge in this case believes that all kids from his/her county need to be fostered in that county--even if it means placing a child and then moving them when room becomes available.

My daughter was in 5 homes in 2 years. She was taken into care and she sexually acted out with another child there, was moved to another foster home, was moved to live with her maternal grandmother and her husband was found to be into child porn, so she was moved to a therapeutic foster home, and then to us. I think its very sad.

Thank you all again so much. It really helps to explain a lot of things that I wouldn't have thought of. They all make sense and I guess it's more important to establish WHY they moved so much instead of how many times. You've been a great help and very informative. Thank you!!

In my opinion, I not convinced it matters "why", but how many moves makes a huge difference.

I couldn't agree more.

The how many moves matters very much to each individual child--we have to be aware the child can be at risk for RAD. The why-it is important to know this to figure out how to fix our system--this information matters to all the children taken into care, the relatives, and especially the foster parents who bear the brunt of the negative behaviors of the children traumatized by the moves.

Very true RobinKay.

Our older child moved more before coming into care than after. He moved 8 times before coming into care (at 20 months), then moved twice while in care- first to a home where the foster parents got overwhelmed and then to us (at 24 months). On paper, it looks like he only moved from birthfamily to foster home 1 to us, not too bad. In reality, which we learned piece by piece over 18 months, he has moved 9 times before coming home to us, home #10. Our younger child moved only 3 times, from birthfamily, to foster home 1, to us. So in his case the paper report is true. Our younger child has some minor attachment issues due to the severe abuse/neglect, but mostly deals with PTSD and is doing well, developmentally on track. Our older child has significant attachment issues, significant PTSD (although coping with this amazingly well now) and developmental delays. He was not abused as badly as his brother, he was not neglected as severely either; he was moved over and over though. It made a huge difference. This is just to illustrate that moves happen while in care, and sometimes before they come into care. Every move leaves its mark, not just the ones happening during foster care placements.

Very good points. It underscores for me the importance of meticulous records and clear communication.

Both times we had a child moved from our home was bc they were endangering the children already in our home. We've had two dozen kids. Most came from previous homes. Reasons they were moved: Fm was pregnant and the fc had rages where he punched, kicked, and bit. The fc didn't get along with the bio kids (same ages). The fc had RAD and fp's couldn't deal with the behaviors (rages, hurting animals, lying, stealing). The fc threatened to kill the fm. The ff was transfered to a new county. The fd got sick and fm couldn't take care of him and the kids. The fp's were chosen for a straight adoption and would have gone over their limit. The fp's got tired of dealing with unsupportive, lying, falsifying sw's and turned in their license.

It's a shame that our best resource for these children (the fp) are treated so poorly by the system. It breaks my heart to see these kiddos moved around so much (and especially when I read about trash bags being used to move them), but there are certainly some good reasons listed for moving them. It's also good to know that the kids aren't always responsible for the moves, even though they are dearly affected.

It just amazes me how good people can be. There are these wonderful, giving people out there whose passion is helping children. Their hearts are broken over and over, they help children with horrendous behaviors, and the very people who should be helping them--the sw, case workers, GALs--often lie to them or treat them as babysitters, not worthy of being told the truth or asked for their input. November is foster child/foster family month. I hope every poster on this site is recognized in their community.