Defiant 11 year old- not sure I can take it anymore!

First, Congratulations on your pregnancy! We use a "token" system, and it is kind of based on 1, 2, 3 Magic. 1. I'd start with 1/2 hour rewards. Set a timer for 30 minutes. Explain the system to child. (If his behavior is REALLY TERRIBLE, try 15 minutes. You can gradually increase it). 2. Hands Heart Feet Mouth (this means, Hands-no touching anyone else or their stuff. Heart - no teasing, name calling, put downs or threats. Feet - stay where you belong, come when you're called. Mouth - no cursing or backtalk) 3. The child gets 3 chances in the 1/2 hour. Each behavior gets counted with - Joey, that's 1. Next infraction, Joey that's 2. Last infraction, Joey that's 3, NO token. Don't discuss the behavior when you "count" him. You know what it is, he knows what it is. Discussing it just pulls you into more conflict with him. If he "counts" back, that is back talk and should be counted. 4. If you have not counted to 3 before the timer goes off, he earns a token. (we use poker chips). Give him a hug at the same time he gets the token. Tell him what a good job he's been doing. Then reset the timer and you would start again with the counting. NOTE: If he doesn't earn the token, still give him a hug and tell him you know he can work hard to earn it next time. 5. The token buys treats that are LOCKED in a cabinet. We took a trip to the dollar store and bought $10 worth of items that we know our kids like...balloons, tattoos, candy (a token can buy two mini tootsie rolls or two smarties or one cookie or 10 gummy bears or 10 M&Ms). 6. If he earns half the tokens during the day, let him choose a bigger reward at the end of the day. It could be 15 minutes later bedtime, extra tv time, extra computer time, an extra snack, a board game with you, etc. Let him choose. If you want to try this system, pm me and I can give you more details.