Twins and Not-Twins

LOL :) I get the triplet question too when I have all three kiddos with me. Before we had our boys, we had a foster daughter (about 5 months younger than my DD). She was biracial (Hispanic/AA). My daughter is CC and quite a bit bigger than our foster daughter. People still asked if they were twins! :arrow:

My loder two are only 5 months apart, and in the same grade at school. They did not become "twins" till ds was turning 10, and dd was 9 1/2, so they did not have the advantage of growing up together. But, to answer your questions: What do you all love about having children so close together? Since they are in the same grade I have been able to go on field trips with both of them at the same time for the last couple of years. Also, they are both in confirmation class together, so have been able to do some fun things with the class. It is nice that they get along with each other's friends so well too. On a good day they are best friends. What is most challenging? The competitive factor. DD is constantly on the look out to make sure everything is "fair". I am trying to teach her that fair and equal are not the same thing. Academically it is unrealistic for me to hold her to the same stndard as him, as he is quite gifted, while she has some learning difficulties due to prenatal drug exposure. When she can't achieve as high as he does she is afraid we will be disappointed (we are not). How are your children similar? They are both very high energy children. They are both very outgoing and friendly. Neither has a shy bone in their body. How are they different? DS is "easier" to deal with. he was an only child till he was 8 years old, the center of our universe. he grew up knowing who he was, and that he was loved. On the other hand, dd grew up for the first 9 1/2 years being passed from one family member to another, never feeling truly safe, loved or wanted. The results are predictable, but she is learning to feel safer, more confident and loved.

This messageboard is so great! My babies are 3-4 months apart and I felt like I'm the only loony in the world to agree to this situation. haha What do you all love about having children so close together? Them playing together. Also, I LOVE going shopping for them. I've never even considered taking them grocery shopping with me. *whew* I'm tired just thinking of trying to do that! Jalapeno you are my hero! :) What is most challenging? Them playing together! Which can lead to fighting over toys since they are too young to totally understand the concept of sharing. How are your children similar? They love dancing especially to the theme of The Backyardigans. Nothing's cuter than seeing my babies giggling, clapping and dancing. :love: How are they different? Older baby is more quiet but much more active. Younger baby is less busy but much more vocal. Recently, while at the playground I was asked if they are twins. I said "Nope. Just close in age" and basically ran away before any other questions could be asked. I'm not sure about how I'll handle those questions in the future. They will probably be in the same grade in school. The idea of attending trips, events and graduations for both of them sounds wonderful, I must admit!

I do not yet have adoptive children but my two older boys receive the twin question all the time! The funny thing is they're 2 1/2 YEARS apart! But my older one (7yrs) is only a couple lbs bigger than the younger (5yrs). The younger is a heavier build though, he really does have big bones! :p

I am the proud Mom of twin girls who will turn 17 on Nov.12th. but I want to answer too,OK?What do you all love about having children so close together?They were and for the most part are to this day best friends and constant playmates. People assumed 2 kids would occupy my every waking moment but they from early on entertained each other. :grouphug: My girls had this weird habit of laying side by side in the crib and sucking each others thumbs when they were younger! Gross I know but soooo cute to watch.:love: What is most challenging? Being "First" was a big deal for them...1st lost tooth left the other in tears; 1st period was huge and 2nd daughter didn't get hers for 8 months after. There was so much competition for 1st place! UGH!!!:hissy: It's possible they may compete for valedictorian this year and I dread that day; most likely they will capture the 1 & 2 spots AND I DREAD THAT DAY! How are your children similar? My girls are/ were identical; our parents even had trouble telling them apart when they were younger. They are both very driven and very smart. How are they different? They have VERY different "styles" now. One is very conservative; the other is ugh...ugh...kinda "hootchie" at times; I have to constantly rein her in. One doesn't wear short shorts very often; the other would drive nude if we'd let her! Most mornings she runs down the steps and I do this >>:cowboy: << a few times before I can allow her to leave. I think I should have put this under most challenging. Excellent thread! :thanks: Tracy

Well I definitely want to hear from all the moms with older kids!! You can give me some idea of what I'm in for! Congrats Tazer on your daughters' academic achievements! (Even though that might make for a stressful graduation. :)) You must be so proud. :cheer:

Ha! LOL :) I'm just stubborn and don't want to give up my free time in the evening to do grocery shopping!

Sounds like it's worked out well for you that they're in the same grade. Because of how my boys' birthdays fall, they are set to go into different grades. We've got years before we need to decide anything but we're thinking we might actually start our older DS later so that they are in the same grade. Well, not for the purpose of having them in the same grade but we're starting to think for a number of reasons that our older DS might be more successful if we allow him an extra year at home. The competitiveness factor seems to be a common theme with twins and close siblings. Do you (or anybody else :)) have other thoughts on why it might or might not be a good idea to have close siblings in the same grade? :prop:

The competitiveness factor seems to be a common theme with twins and close siblings. Do you (or anybody else ) have other thoughts on why it might or might not be a good idea to have close siblings in the same grade?

Since my girls were automatically in the same grade, I'll answer from the standpoint of having them in the same class, OK? When Aleea and Alexa were in pre-school they had the same class, teacher, etc. Bad idea. The school was quite small and they were placed in one of only three pre-school classes. Not only this but I dressed them alike totally! :cheer: :cheer: They only "bonded" with each other and the teacher and her aide were so focused on the "twin" thing that they often called each of them Twin and not by name. It was not a great experience, IMO. We separated them the following year and not until their 9th grade years did they have dual classes. Both girls have similar interests; ie: track team in 9th grade, drill team in 10th etc. They made it easy for me by having the same practice, team meetings, uniforms etc. unlike my sister who has 3 kids close in age and lives in her SUV daily. She says her steering wheel is her best friend. Both my girls are smart, BUT each has mastered different subjects. A-1 excelled in Spanish and French; A-2 hates both. A-1 was grounded for a month after we discovered she took both of their Spanish exams! A-2 is a math whiz...she took the Trigonometry exam 1st, aced it and gave A-1 the answers! Grounded.:cowboy: Both have 4.0 averages but they are very clever at achieving them. They took advantage of what nature gave them. These are the moments I know about, I'm sure there were more I never discovered. BTW: I'm certain that if one of them had failed the drivers test...uh you know what would have happened.:drive: It was / is fun having twins but I often wished I could have celebrated their achievements separately at times. I'm terrified at the thought of each of them leaving for college next year. Both of them are planning pre-med studies, one at UCLA one at Berkley. I can't imagine what life will be like without this>>:rockband: << constantly. I don't think I'll put the baby in school, although if this>>:hissy: << continues I might alter his b/c and send him early! Tracy

Tazer - LOL about the switching for exams. Too funny. :) I suppose it wasn't very funny at the time!

My father had 2 uncles who were identical twins. They graduated from college in 1930. When he started in the fall of 47, he had the same chemistry prof they had had. The prof would look at him, shake his head and say, "I still don't know which one of them did the work." Dad said he asked Uncle Charles, who responded, "That's easy, one day I did it, the next day Henry did it."

we adopted twin boys at age 4. They are 13 now. The boys look very different. One looks middle eastern and one looks african-american. One has blue eyes and a brown afro and one has wavy black hair and chocolate brown eyes. There is a weight difference of over 35 pounds, although neither is even a bit overweight. The height difference is close to 5 inches. Shoe size is off by 3 full sizes. Their personalities are not compatable most of the time.Competition... Who did see that cow first? Why does he get to blow of the birthday candles first two years in a row? It got so bad at one point I had them in seperate elementary schools!DH and I teased that they were mixed up at birth and somewhere out there there is a "real" twins for one of the boys. The questions people ask, so are they really twins? Do they have different fathers? are impossible to answer. I mostly just say that we weren't there at conception. That generally shuts people up.:eyebrows:

It wasn't funny at all, but later d/h and I did think "wow, how cleaver.. didn't know they had it in 'em. We didn't catch them at their antics ever, I overheard Alexa talking to a friend about the math exam weeks later. I was too embarrassed and too pregnant to wobble over and notify the school. On the other hand I should have known something was up b/c they hated dressing alike normally but some days they would run down the steps wearing the exact same outfit from top to bottom :clown: :clown: including colored contacts! Now we laugh when my almost 2 month old son looks from one to the other and frowns, clearly confused. He has a preference but can't tell which one she is until she makes bubble-blowing noises against his tummy:p which the other would never do! I wouldn't trade the experience for the world but Thank Goodness we only got 1 :hissy: this time around! :thanks: Tracy

I've heard of some twins being very different, but WOW!!

My children are too young for much competition, but I LOVE having them all so close in age. My bio sons are 18 months apart and FD is one month younger than my younger BS. FS in two years younger than FD. They have SOOOOOO much fun together. I don't have to buy a huge variety of toys because they are all into the same age toys. I enjoy watching their interactions together. We have talked about taking in a newborn, but I would hate to have one child so much younger than the others! We get asked often if BS and FD are twins (first BS is very tall for his age). If it is a stranger I usually just smile, say nope and walk away. I enjoy the looks on their faces. For someone that I may have to deal with again I say that one was born in my heart the other below it. That rarely requires further explaination.