The CI program worked for me!

While I had nearly immediate success in the social worker finding my b-mom, it has been a series of "hurry-ups and waits" for her to actually send in the paperwork. Each time she was contacted she said she wanted to have contact but it seemed she never sent in the paperwork. As it turns out, she had had some health issues over the past 6 months which had caused a lot of the delay, as well as a bit of cold feet. Well, on Wednesday, while I was eating lunch, I received a call from the social worker that she had just received the forms from my b-mom and she wanted to make contact. I nearly popped out of my chair! I've been searching on and off for over 20 years and suddenly the Holy Grail was in my grasp! I told her that I'd be willing to initiate the call or if she wanted, she could. So the social worker said she'd ask my b-mom and get back to me. Before she hung up, I asked for my b-mom's name, so I'd have something to hold on to and she gave it to me. On my ride back to the office the social worker called again and said that my b-mom would like me to initiate the call, but wait until the evening. When I got back to my office, I was so overwhelmed that I told my boss I was leaving and I'd see him tomorrow. When I got home, I began a genealogical search on the name and within 90 minutes I had my b-mom's family history back to 1750 (gotta love the internet!). That evening, my wife and I sat down and put together the questions that I would ask, I knew if I tried to do it without writing something down, I'd screw it up. We also read a VERY helpful article I found on the Adoption.com forums about "Reunion Etiquette". I strongly recommend it to anyone in this situation. Anyway, when I was finally ready, I made the call. I had my wife on the other line so she could take notes of what we were told. My b-mom was very nice, very helpful and understanding and was very comfortable providing amazingly detailed information about everything I wanted to know. I found out I have 2 half -siblings and 3 neices and nephews as well as an uncle. We are in the process of making plans to meet face to face, probably in about 2 weeks. She also provided me with my b-father's name. So I immediately began searching for him. I was able to locate him quite quickly as well as find out that I have 2 more nephews and an uncle. I had my wife contact him as a "Private Searcher" trying to confirm that he was the man we were looking for. While his response indicated that he was in fact my b-father, he was unwilling to discuss anything and flatly refused to provide even a basic medical history. My wife was extremely disappointed and angry at his response, but it didn't really affect me. If he didn't want to have contact or even provide medical info, it was okay. The main thing for me was that I had finally made it out of "the maze". The maze is what I had been in throughout my search, always trying to get to the end and never really sure which way to turn or when it all might end. I can't count the number of times I expected to be in that maze for my entire life. Now, I had found the exit. It might not have been all that I had wanted, but I didn't have to search and wonder anymore! I had names, I knew who my birth parents were. I could hop onto a plane at any moment and be on their doorstep in a few hours (not that I would given my fathers response, but I COULD!). I think that even if I had found out that they were both dead and had no living relatives I would still have had this enormous weight lifted off of me. My search is over, now I get to enter a new maze with my b-mom, I just feel that this one will be a bit more under my control. So, to any of you who are searching, DON'T GIVE UP! It will happen for you one day! If you haven't used the CI program, DO IT TODAY! I worked with Martha Kay Mayberry and Tina Martin in Wake County and they are wonderful women who have made a world of difference in my life! Good Luck! Ken