Holding a Grudge

September 29, 2008

I have been in several services lately where the Preacher makes a reference to how holding a grudge can and will interfer with your relationship with God. And if your prayers aren't being answered you need to examine yourself and see if you are actually hindering your prayer life in some way. I have come to the realization that God was speaking to me through these references. Not that I didn't already know this, but sometimes we need to be reminded to examine ourselves and ask ourselves if we have really forgiven someone the way Christ intends for us to.

I have been holding onto some feelings that I really need to let go of. Through prayer for myself for wisdom, guidance, patience and understanding, as well as, prayer for the person I have conflict with, I have seen a change in my attitude toward her. In fact, so much so that I want to contact her just to say that I love her and God loves her. She is going though so much right now, things she brought upon herself, that I feel she needs encouragement. Yet at the same time, if I contact her that is going to open a door that may be unhealthy for my family, especially my ason.

I just don't know what to do. Please pray for me. I want to do what God wants me to do. I just need to know what that is. I don't feel like He would want me to add stress in our lives by opening communication back up with someone who has caused me so much confliction, yet at the same time, I feel like I need to be a good witness to her. It's just so complicated. I really need wisdom and guidance to get me through this.

I'm not really looking for anything here, except prayer, but I just thought you all may understand somewhat the conflicting emotions and feelings that I am going through right now.

Thanks for listening.

I just want to add that I thank GOD that HE has made us overcomers of our ownselves. I know that I have forgiveness for this person. Through HIM I'm able to do that. I just don't know where to go from here, if anywhere, in regards to my relationship with her. Contact or no contact, I will continue to pray for her and her family.

EZ2Luv

September 29, 2008

I want you to know that I will be praying for you. I too have been there and found that once I was able to forgive the person (who probably was oblivious to the grude I held)I found a new freedom and my prayer life improved.

One thing I had to realize was that God also gives us wisdom. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift and we feel so free and happy that we almost want to go and hug the person and tell them how much we love them. We have such joy. However, sometimes going to that person is not a good idea, especially if they pose a danger or risk. In situations like this I have prayed for wisdom and Thank God, He showed me that just showing unconditional love and seeing the person in a different way was enough.

In my case it was a person who had stalked my family nearly causing my father to die. SO you could see how in my case it would have not been a very good idea to try and let this person know they were forgiven.