Advertisements
I hope I am posting in the right place. I have been a member for a long time but have not been on in a few years.
My 8 yr old adopted daughter is asking about her birthmom. We adopted through the state, so it wasn't your normal placement. I knew Mom, as I was the foster parent. Mom had visitation for 18 months before she relinquished her parental rights. At the last visit, Mom and grandparents gave me their addresses. For a year or so we communicated with pictures and letters. Mom (a very young girl when she had my daughter) got married and had another baby. She still sent letters and pictures. Then one day she just stopped writing. I've tried calling both her and grandparents to no avail. (disconnected) My daughter (about 6 at the time) wrote a letter. It came back unclaimed.
For my daughter's sake, I would like to keep in touch with with Birthmom, although I respect that she may not want contact for her own personal reasons. There is also the possibility that Birthmom is unavailable because of issues with the law or substance abuse. My problem is that we have now moved to another state. So, if Birthmom did try to get in contact......she
could not find us either.
Isn't there a clearing house or something where you can leave names and numbers for possible reunions?
The state does not do this. Thanks so much.
Like
Share
Advertisements
Thanks Finallymom,
I now know this is the wrong place to post this thread. But how kind of you. After I wrote it, I began reading the threads of others and suddenly realized that so many other moms (on both sides of an OA) (perhaps a CA as well) are missing that same connection. Jeeze I thought I was alone out here. At first I thought the loss and longing for Bmom that I felt was on behalf of my daughter. And of course it is.......but I also feel that I need that connection to Bmom almost as much as DD does. I don't think I was aware of that until I began reading the truly heartfelt and poigant musings of other women on these boards. I think we all need that connection to one another. Not one of us (within the triad) is complete without the others. We all need each other. I'm sure others here were already aware of this, but it took me reading all of the stories to understand. My daughter is not the only one with a hole in her heart. I also have a missing piece.