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I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this for a second time as well. I myself have placed twice and it was hard, but it was the best thing and the right decision for both my girls and myself in both situations.
If you'd like to talk, then feel free to PM me or you can click on the link in my signature to read My story if you'd like also.
You have to do what you feel is best for you and your baby. I can totally relate to how hard it is deciding whether to place or not a second time.
(((HUGS))) to you at this difficult time.