The blessing of infertility pain.....

with you. We lost 6 pregnancies after DS was born. Seems like the Dr ran every test known to man, but no anwers for us. After 4 years of the fertility roller coaster I was leaving the doctors office and said God, can you just give me a sign we are on the right path...and there in front of me was a billboard that said "consider adoption" I dont think they make signs much bigger than that and since then we have had the honor of adding 3 little ones to our family and keeping 5 more safe until they were returned home. I know it sound strange, but I truly believe we had to suffer the pain of our infertility to fully appreciate the blessing of the children in our lives.

I honestly believe that God kept me from getting pregnant because the children He intended me to parent were out there...not in my womb.I'm the mom to 3 munchkins, and once we finalize the adoptions on the younger two kids, we're done. When that happens, we're surrendering our foster licence and just enjoying life as a family.

I believe something very similar. I had 2 mc's and grieved very deeply. I couldn't fathom why God would allow someone to go through such pain. Then when my son was born, he gave me the answer. My son, barely hanging onto life the night he was born, needed me SO much more than any bio child ever would. Had I given birth either time, I know I would not have adopted. God brought a very sick baby into our life who needed us so much and I was finally open to that. I don't even want to think abou where my son would be without us. After realizing all of this, my anger has gone away.

I thank God all the time for giving me the gift of infertility. I know wierd to call it a gift after considering it my greatest curse for so long. Without it I might not have MY dd. I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. god had to use that to completely break me and build me into the person He intended me to be.

I suffered a miscarriage when I was 20 years old, and the doctor I was seeing was a total quack. Due to his failure to give me the medical attention I needed (despite my frequent visits and complaints) I was left with massive scar tissue. For the next thirteen years it was an impossibility for me to get pregnant. My tubes were completely blocked. During that time I left my first husband, who turned out to be abusive. I married, then left my second husband who turned out to be an alcoholic. About two months after I married my third (and present) husband I had a procedure done that opened my falopian tube, finally removing the barrier that prevented conception. We went through two and a half years of trying everything short of invetrio fertilization without conceiving. Finally, we resigned ourselves to being childless. Many people suggested we look into adopting, but we were completely closed to it. My husband was a "recovering" alcoholic. He fell off the wagon - fell and hit hard. So hard, in fact that he ended up with a suicide attempt. Thank God, he survived and went from the hospital immediately into rehab. One year and one day later I discovered I was pregnant! I gave birth to a healthy baby boy two months after my fortieth birthday. When he was three years old, and it was becoming apparent that I would not get pregnant again I saw a poster in Wendy's about the foster to adopt program. I went home and researched it on the internet and showed it to my husband. We both knew that this was what we were meant to do, but not yet. We didn't want to adopt a baby, but we wanted our first son to remain the oldest. We waited till he was 8 years old to start the process. He is almost 13 now. We also have a daughter that is 12 1/2 (adopted 2 years ago) and a son that is 9 (adopted 3 years ago). When I look at the tapestry that is my life I am amazed at how well the Master wove everything together to make us one family. First, God made sure I didn't have a child until I was with the man He had chosen for me, and that man had worked through his demons. God blessed us with the one biological child, because without him we never would have adopted. This is not a fairy tale ending. These children, with their special needs and emotional baggage bring incredible challenges to our lives. But having them has brought me so much closer to God (boy, do I need Him now!), and in turn, we have brought these children (one's bio mother was a drug addict, the other a self professed pagan) to His fold. So, my extremely long answer is yes, we have been blessed by infertility!

My blessing through infertility is that I listen to other people more rather than go for immediate easy answers/or pat sayings that people like to say. I am more comfortable discussing the uncomfortable. I never assume that someone should feel this way or that about something. I am closer to my DH. I am more thankful for everything in my life. I am closer to God - he already has four parts of my soul with my four miscarriages. I don't want that to sound bitter b/c it is not meant to be. I mean that He has already claimed a part of me so that I am now closer to Him. I am less sure of myself, and at the same time more sure of Him. I understand his sacrifice of his only son, to watch him suffer and die a physical death at different level than I have ever been. I am bolder now to ask for His help and to cry out to Him in pain. Through my losses, I have felt His love for me, and at the same time wondered if He really has a divine plan for me. Again, I don't think that is bad. It has allowed me time to critically think over my faith at a level that many may never have to do.

I hope you all don't mind me chiming in even though i am not a Christian. But have a deep belief in god and his ways. I felt like saying a bit. We suffered from infertility for many years. I used to live in India, suddenly my hubby's work took us to the U.S and we kept trying and failing. My hubby had been talking of adoption for long and i was not really listening. I researched International adoption from India and the doors closed on my face as we can't adopt from India while we live in the U.S on a visa. We were often mistaken for a Mexican in the U.S One fine day *bam* i got this thought why are we not doing domestic adoption and looking at a child of Hispanic origin. This thought got me very very excited as we checked out that we were allowed to adopt domestically. Then i see EVERYTHING fell into place. I next see an advertisement of a Lutheran Church in my area doing an adoption seminar that weekend. We went and found the agency who told us they had Hispanic coordinator and did lots of Hispanic adoptions. Within 7 months of applying our daughter was home in our arms. :love: We returned to India 1 year after that as suddenly as we had moved to the U.S :cheer: If this was not gods will then what is ???? Our infertility, our move to the U.S , fertility treatement failure again, India adoption failure and then domestic adoption fell into place so smoothly that it was unbelievable. I know god meant us to adopt and that too from the U.S. We were so suddenly moved to the U.S just for our precious daughter and then home again. Yes god does strange things .Things we can't sometimes dream off. But if you remember him he doesn't let you down.