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We are doing a private adoption. I guess it would be considered open. We have met, went to the Dr with her once and will be at the hospital in another room when baby is born. I wouldn't say we are close, just because we don't know each other that well. We are doing pictures, letters and visits every six months. So my question is: I was wondering if it is appropriate to get her a gift, flowers, something when the baby is born? But still thought it would be nice to do something. Just didn't know how she would take it.
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Flowers are a nice gesture, I think...
We brought JD's firstmom a beautiful picture frame for one of JD's pics...
We brought AJ's firstmom a book of poetry and a journal. Seven years later, she still tells us that journaling after she got home "saved her life".
Congrats, by the way!
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We got my son's birth mom 2 dozen roses shortly after his birth. We also got her chocolates and bath salts ( I love those!) when we met.
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Yes a gift would be very appropriate, however you need to check with your agency/lawyer to see if gifts prior to finalization or TPR are allowed.
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I'm going to say no on the physical gift. Give her the gift of time when she is in the hospital with baby. Let her be the mom, don't impose, act as a guest, because that is what you are when you are there. I think that is the greatest gift you can give her.
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Yes-our agency actually recommended it. We only had a few hours notice so we just got a card (with a personal note) and a Target gift card.
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The gift of promises kept... don't say OA or Semi OA and then close. As much as I want to close my adoption it is still semi-open and will remain so. I won't go into why I feel like closing it because those who know me know why. I am just working hard to keep my promises to her.
As far as a gift, a photo album or premade scrap book that you can send more pages or photos for. We did not have hospital pics because the baby was a week old when we got her, but we took lots of pictures (of just the baby not us) at the hotel while waiting for ICPC. Prior to leaving we got them printed and sent them in the photo album to her bmom. Every few months I send pictures for her to add to the album.
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