Adoptee Anger

I hope I have the right place to pose some questions and express myself. I recently have realised my sadness and anger are directed at my biological mother. Why do I at one moment call her Jodie then call her mom? I think because I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? Where can I get some adoptee support in person. Also for my own adopted children of whom there are three at home. You know you've been rather angry when your daughter says "mom you are always mad or grumpy." Ouch that hurts. So hmmm why is my question well, I began to see why as I began reading Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge. It's funny I'm supposed to be reading this book for my kids and find myself reading it for them and me at the same time. Will my biological womb ever accept that she was selfish in her reasons for giving us up? Will she ever apologize or live in her fog and continue to go to mass everyday fighting for forgiveness with her god? Will my anger subside? Can I really send her a letter telling her what I feel? Am I being selfish too? Can me dealing with whom I'm angry with be good for my little ones as well? I'm in the process of writing a letter to her. I'll write one to my Dad (He died when I was 3 and loved me very much) Why did she not let him raise me, maybe he would not have died. Sounds crazy I know but one never knows. Do I share the pictures of my kids bio families with them? They are 9 and 10 (11 in Jan). My oldest son is a step adoption and he still has very limited contact with her. Can it be good for them to know at their ages information about where they came from? Is there an in person adoptee support group in N. California, I mean Sacramento to Chico Northern Ca.? Any input is welcome and in advance I appreciate everyones help. I'm glad I'm not alone in this mess! :) Please help Gavriela :(