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I ask because I'm 30 and pretty much EVERYONE I went to HS with is married now. I have no relationship with my afamily (they hate me, seriously), I'm a single mom and am very tired of being alone.
I did, twice.
I married the first time at 21 and was divorced by 28. My divorce had absolutely nothing to do with my being adopted.
I married my husband at age 45. He's been great with the whole adoption thing - although he may not fully get it, he supports me in whatever I do.
Actually, the sadness and insecurities I felt during puberty regarding my adoption I outgrew as I became an adult and mother. They didn't return until recently when I started my search and found my bmother.
Being in contact with her (once) and other birth relatives has awakened these emotions all over again.
I was divorced for 17 years - I know it can get lonely, but don't "settle". I found my husband when I wasn't even looking.
Good Luck
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einigkeit
I'm 30 and pretty much EVERYONE I went to HS with is married now.
The average age for first marriage is between 25 and 27 for women (depends on who's stats you quote), so you're a little above the norm, but not by much. Later marriage is also strongly associated with higher levels of education. I'd guess that means you're an intelligent, well educated woman just hitting her prime.
If I wasn't already married, I'd probably be asking if you live near me because - believe me - there are plenty of guys around looking for women just like you.
I had a failed marriage at age 23. I stopped looking after breaking up with a long time boyfriend at 30. A few months later I met my future husband. It took ME 6 years to decide I was ready to be married-I wanted to make sure it would last the second time around.
I don't think it had anything to do with me being adopted-I have a great relationship with my afamily.
Try to relax and not worry about everyone else. Focus on your family and yourself for awhile. I know tons of people who gave up looking only to meet Mr Right shortly after.
Thanks for the votes of confidence: I didn't officially go to college (I somehow managed to go to Berklee for 2 yrs without enrolling) but I guess i qualify as intelligent.
Not sure why I'm so focused on marriage, I guess its the holidays....
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I got married at 22 and we are still married 16 years later. I don't have any adopted friends and most married much later than me.
You know what they say about how when you meet the right person, you will know right away? it's very, very true.
Yes adoptees do get married. Though I don't see any reason why they would not. I know some adoptees have problems in relationships but so do non adoptees. I married in my later 30s and went on to have 3 wonderful boys. Yes it does happen but again like non adoptees it will happen when it happens. Relationships are so hard tehse days and meeting the right person is equally as difficult. Hang in there , it will happen when you least expect it.
EZ
JGarrick
I'd guess that means you're an intelligent, well educated woman just hitting her prime.
Define "well-educated". I have a high school diploma. That's it. Somehow I managed to fall in with a group of Berklee [College of Music] students and lived in the dorms for about a year. So begins and ends my college experience.
Were I a high powered lawyer, I could see my sigle status as par for the course. But since I'm a lowly high school graduate-ten years homeless-SSI receiving weirdo, I doubt any proposals are in my future, immediate or otherwise.
But thanks anyway.
Sounds like you need to work on your self-esteem before looking into a relationship. You are being very hard on yourself in your post. It's never too late to get your education and start a career. That would definitely boost your confidence.
You know, you're won't be able to love anyone else until you love yourself first.
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I was actually being a bit sarcastic. :p But why does it seem that people think the answer is always a career? Starting ten years later than my peers is going to equal out to me still being single, right? And learning to love oneself..can take YEARS and YEARS of therapy and hard work. That puts me at about 45 before I "love myself" and am "established in my career". And the dating pool at that point is so small that there's no real point, is there?
einigkeit
I was actually being a bit sarcastic. :p But why does it seem that people think the answer is always a career? Starting ten years later than my peers is going to equal out to me still being single, right? And learning to love oneself..can take YEARS and YEARS of therapy and hard work. That puts me at about 45 before I "love myself" and am "established in my career". And the dating pool at that point is so small that there's no real point, is there?
Hey, that hurt... I am 46 and still single... but I have "hope." Heck my Gma got married the 2nd time when she was in her 80's. But as a single mom to a beautiful adopted dd, I am loving life just as is! If Mr Right comes along it will just be icing on the cake.
einigkeit
I ask because I'm 30 and pretty much EVERYONE I went to HS with is married now. I have no relationship with my afamily (they hate me, seriously), I'm a single mom and am very tired of being alone.
I guess I will let you know when I get married...lol I'm 45 and single but actually quite happy. If the right one comes then fantastic, if not I'm not worried about that either... Enjoy life each day and try not to put time limits on anything, let it just happen...