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DH and I met with a little boy's grandmother last fall. He was 5 months old at the time, and the mother had considered adoption, but never committed. The grandmother believed that adoption would be in his best interest, bc the mother has various issues, including mental health. At the time, there were several factors that made us not pursue the adoption further, but we stayed in touch with the grandmother.
Eight months later, the little boy has been in and out of foster care, currently his paternal grandmother has physical custody (only) of him, and the mother is in a residential treatment facility. The grandmother we're in touch with says that CPS doesn't think either the other gma nor the mother are permanent long-term options for the little boy, who is now a year old.
She gave me his case worker's name and number, and I want to call but don't know what to say or really how to go about the whole thing. I know for privacy reasons she can't give me any case details, but I want to express an interest in adopting this little boy if CPS really does determine that he cannot stay with the paternal gma (who also has mental health issues) nor can he be returned to the mother.
Do we have a chance at all? Should we even bother? What should I say or ask the case worker when I call?
We live in the next county over from the family, if that makes any difference. And we are about to be licensed foster parents as well.
Please help! I don't want to leave any stone unturned. I regret not pursuing it earlier, as the concerns we had before have since been put into perspective and we are prepared to deal with it now.
Thank you for any and all feedback!
Karolina
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To the best of my knowledge, there are no social workers or therapists who post here. I don't even know if any are on the board.
But you explained yourself well enough to us, what is it about saying exactly the same thing to a caseworker that's keeping you from picking up the phone? Just DO it. The worst they can do is say "no". Read you post out loud to her if you must. But if you don't call then you know it won't happen, and then you'll always wonder what if...
You may want to post in the adoptive parent forum or just starting out forum. I think you would definately yeild more advice and suggestions for those apaprents who have been through this.
I would just call and ask about the baby telling CW that you are interested in adoption him, if this is a possibility and what must you do in order to adopt him.
I certainly wish you the best.
EZ
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That sounds liek a great start. You have done such a wonderful job expressing yoursef here, just explain as you have here. You sound honest and sincere and you obviously care about this baby. That is what any social worker would want to hear.
Please let us know how things turn out for you.
EZ
Just wanted to share an update. DH left 3 voice mails for the SW w/o a reply. Then I finally guessed her email address and sent her a follow up on Friday. Today, she called us quite confused as to what we wanted.
So I explained again how we know of the little boy, that we're aware of such a thing as an "interested party list", and we just wanted to be put on it in case his goal with DHS changes. I had to explain this twice.
I told her that my SIL was a CASA, and she told us about the list. And that we knew of the boy from his maternal gma.
The call didn't really resolve anything, bc she started to say that she couldn't share any information with us. I interrupted her to reassure her that we didn't want any information, just to be put on this list.
She never confirmed nor denied the existence of this list, but she did sound like she was going to contact the little boy's gma to have a "talking to" about getting us involved. That was my impression.
I emailed the gma to keep her in the loop and give her a heads up in case the SW does call bothering her. So I don't know if little "I" has this list in his file or no, if she'll put us on this list or no. But I'm sure she'll remember us bc she was very confused about our repeat contact. Not sure if that's enough, but let's face it, the little boy isn't even available for adoption at this point and it may never come to it.
But I'm glad we didn't leave this stone unturned either. And I just wanted to let you all know what happened with it. Thanks for your encouragement!
Karolina
I'm glad you made the call! That sounds like progress, of a sort. I got my FS much the same way - I was teaching him, and found out he'd been put in foster care. Without knowing much about the situation or how close it was to TPR, I contacted the SW and said much the same thing. Turns out that his current foster family was HAPPY to have him find a new home, so it went pretty quickly :-)
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Since you know gm ask if her daughter would voluntary surrender her rights since she has kinship care over the child. Has the mom been serverants? If so you have to deal with CPS and the assigned case worker of this child. I would email daily if the state has custody of the child and call if you dont get nothing accomplished by him/her not getting back with you call the supervisor. If none of this applies to your case talk to gm since she is the primary caregiver at this time for the child and get a lawyer. Hope this will help you.
I thought I'd update in case anyone is interested. I thought this situation fizzled...again... after I posted here.
However, recent developments resulted in the birth mom wanting to make an adoption plan for this little boy (who's 16 months now) that includes us. TPR hasn't taken place yet, so as far as I know, she can still have a say. I'm waiting to hear back from the boy's guardian ad litem, who said it was not too late for her to make this decision. Looks like his SW wasn't all that concerned with all possible avenues for his future, but the GAL sounded quite positive when I briefly met him last week.
Dh and I met both of the boy's parents last week, too, though we have never met the little boy.
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I am a social worker for CPS and used to post quite awhile ago. I stopped posting because while others asked for a social worker perspective when I gave it no one really seemed to want to hear what I had to say. I just came back to this board again yesterday to give it another try. That being said. The consent to adopt idea is a good one. However, I would make sure that it didn't affect any adoption assistance/subsidy that might be available ( unless that isn't something that you require) In MN where I am the consent to adopt will allow for the adoption to a certain person but there is no adoption assistance payments or medical that go along with it.