question about rape adoption

Okay I am going to get flamed for this, but I am used to it. As an advocate for your niece, and totally ignoring the "rights of the father" I would say:No, she cannot prove rape at this point. It would be "he said, she said" with no evidence of force or threat.But, she is carrying a little bundle of DNA that proves paternity, so I would have a lawyer present and have a conversation with the young man that gives him two options:Sign all necessary legal forms admitting you are the father and surrendering this baby for adoption OR Your victim will file rape charges, which will stay on your record even if there is no evidence to bring to trial, and the court will order you to submit to a DNA test. You will be proved the father, and pay child support to your victim for the next 18 years.

But what if he wants the baby and he's totally innocent.How would that be fair.I knew a teenager that lied about getting raped because she thought she was pregnant.In the end he's has this problem because someone lied about him.

I live in the state of Maryland and am going through exactly what you describe sort of. WHat I mean is we are on the receivign end of a baby boy who was a product of an unreported rape and the mother could not care fore him. She never reported the rape and what she did was safe haven him in the hospital she gave birth. After she gave birth she left the hospital and as the law says they called CPS in the county and as a vacant foster family we got the call. What happens is the left baby goes up for adoption. The entire process happens within six months. The mother can leave the child with no identifying info. AFter a couple court sessions they will do a generic publication as required by CPS in every adoption and when noone comes forward which they won't the parents are free to petition for adoption. As a family that received this blessing and have oodles of love for our newest addition I often find myself explaining why someone would just leave their child. I defend his mom saying I hope I can only love him as much as she did wanting him to have a better life. Good Luck with your decision.

Thanks for your replies! They are great and I would love more people to reply! I just have to say one thing. I don't think anyone should ever make a girl feel bad for giving her baby up for adoption in a situation like this. That's an awfully hard thing--to ask a sixteen year old girl to keep and raise the baby of a boy who raped her. Adoption is definitely a good option here. I'm giving her the support she needs.

Sure, do this, if you want to live under the shadow of possibly having the father come back and have the adoption overturned due to coercion. Coercion is ILLEGAL in all 50 states and the above is exactly that. You can't just 'file charges' against someone for rape – I’m sorry, that’s just not how the law works. There has to be evidence, grounds, proof – etc. As for your questions – I’ll answer them without suggesting you break the law.Some amount of ‘permission’ is required from both parents in order for adoption to move forward. This can be done many different ways. State laws vary on what is required and what isn’t. If she is unwilling to name him or he is unwilling to participate in the process, then there are other legal means in which a fathers rights can be terminated, allowing the adoption to go through. Virginia is a Putative Father State. Even if she isn’t living there, due diligence will need to be done, because that is where the child was conceived. Here is what the law in Virginia says about Putative Fathers:Putative father registryAnn. Code ǧ 63.2-1249; 63.2-1250A Putative Father Registry is hereby established in the Department of Social Services. A man who desires to be notified of a proceeding for adoption of, or termination of parental rights regarding, a child that he may have fathered shall register with the Putative Father Registry before the birth of the child or within 10 days after the birth. A man will not prejudice any rights by failing to register if:• A father-child relationship between the man and the child has been established pursuant to ǧ 20-49.1 or 20-49.8, or the man is a presumed father as defined in 63.2-1202.• The man commences a proceeding to adjudicate his paternity before a petition to accept consent or waive adoption consent or a petition for adoption or a petition for the termination of his parental rights is filed with the court.Failure to register shall waive all rights of a man who is not an acknowledged, presumed, or adjudicated father to withhold consent to an adoption proceeding unless the man was led to believe through the birth mother's fraud that the pregnancy was terminated or the mother miscarried when in fact the baby was born, or that the child died when in fact the child is alive. Any man who has engaged in sexual intercourse with a woman is deemed to be on legal notice that a child may be conceived and the man is entitled to all legal rights and obligations resulting therefrom. Lack of knowledge of the pregnancy does not excuse failure to register in a timely manner, except when the identity of such man is reasonably ascertainable. Maryland does NOT have a Putative Father Registry, however they have some pretty specific statutes on the books regarding what a “father” is. Here is how they have it outlined:Legal definition of "father"Est. and Trusts ǧ 1-208A child born to parents who have not participated in a marriage ceremony with each other shall be considered to be the child of his or her mother.A child born to parents who have not participated in a marriage ceremony with each other shall be considered to be the child of his or her father only if the father:• Has been judicially determined to be the father in an action brought under the statutes relating to paternity proceedings• Has acknowledged himself, in writing, to be the father • Has openly and notoriously recognized the child to be his child• Has subsequently married the mother and has acknowledged himself, orally or in writing, to be the fatherIn the United States, one is innocent until proven guilty – pressing charges does little to nothing to move the matter forward. Making threats to do so can be seen by some judges as coercion. If the father were to later file a case based on coercion, it is very likely that the matter could come back and create huge issues. Nothing is ‘automatic’ in adoption. Everything is a process. A child can not be born without two parents – both parents rights must be terminated via some legal manner, before the adoption can go through. That includes terminating the rights of an ‘unknown father’. If he chose to be involved in the adoption proceedings, then he would have the same time frame allowed by law for all birth parents in which they can revoke their consent to adoption. She can file a complaint – but the case likely would go nowhere without compelling evidence to prove that a rape occurred. At this point, it’s her word against his. The fact that she carries his child does nothing more than prove they had sex, not whether that sex was consensual or not. I understand that you want to support your niece, but the very best way you can do that now is by supporting her in getting sound legal advice going forward. Even in cases where sexual assault kits are collected and evidence is overwhelming, convictions aren’t guaranteed.I would urge you to avoid the suggestions made by MamaS because it violates the law, that, aside from the fact that you’d be hard pressed to find an attorney who would be willing to put their license to practice law on the line where there are any number of legal ways that the matter can be addressed.

Hick, I am sorry for what has happened to your niece. I agree with Brandy that a lawyer cannot "threaten" pursuing criminal charges to gain a more advantageous result in a civil matter (here, forcing the alleged rapist to TPR). It's against my state's ethical rules (and I assume all states' rules). The adoption issues aside, though, I did want to say that she absolutely can (and should if she wants to) contact the police to report the rape. Many rape cases are "she said/he said" and that does not prevent prosecutions and/or convictions. Even without physical evidence (and here there is evidence if the baby is the alleged rapist's that he had sex with your niece...that is something that has to be proved in a rape case), there are other ways for a victim to corroborate her story..."fresh complaint" testimony, etc. There is usually a long statute of limitations for rape charges because lawmakers understand that many times women (or girls) do not pursue charges/go to the hospital out of fear, shame, etc. She certainly is within the statute of limitations here. Also, I don't know how old the alleged rapist is, but if he is over 18, he likely has committed at least statutory rape (consensual sex with a minor under 16 is usually illegal if the perpetrator is over 18...the laws vary by state). If she decides not to pursue charges, she probably should give whoever is handling the adoption the name of the alleged rapist so that that professional can figure out how to handle terminating his rights. (She obviously should not be in a position of contacting this guy directly). I wish your niece and the baby the best. I am glad she has you to support her.

I hadn't thought of the statutory rape thing-thanks loveajax. Thank you everyone else too. Of course, we will be talking with a lawyer. She knows exactly who the boy is, last and full name, everything. The lawyer has told her to go ahead and press charges. It seems that he attempted rape on another girl and the list is growing longer. I believe everything is going to work out. Thanks everyone.

Yes, raising a child conceived from rape is an extremely hard path. It is also a awfully hard to give birth to a child and to say goodbye. It is not unknown for women to parent children conceived from rape. Given that your niece is so young, I can see where you and your family is concerned.Is your niece in counseling to explore her feelings about this child being half hers? When she gives birth to her child, her natural maternal feelings will overwhelm her if she is unprepared.She is so fortunate to have you in her corner. I will keep her in my prayers.Happy G'Ma

There is a forum regarding children conceived in rape. Your niece may find some support from people who know what she is going through. [url=http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/stigma_book/?yguid=156716553]stigma_book : Stigma support group[/url]

I have done this and although do not regret my decision, please make sure your niece has counseling for rape and adoption. I didn't and wish I had. I gave my son up 21 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't miss him.He is half me too. MY family doesn't understand except my other children who are hoping and wising that he seeks us out. Good luck and God bless you and your baby. Amy

Our daughter's birth mother was raped. Because she was raped, she did not have to name the father. The agency just put a notice in the paper saying "if you are the possibly father of a baby due (put in date) please contact (put in info)". We live in Maryland, and our daughter was born in Idaho. Good luck to you and your niece, she is very brave to go through with the pregnancy and then place for adoption. If you have any other questions, you can email me at hoping_to_adopt@hotmail.com. -Rachel