What to Expect?

I will respond but will be happy for someone with more knowledge to chime in :) We just finished our homestudy and have to finish our profile to become active so I am also rather new. As far as fees though we put our cap at 17000 which includes our legal and hopsital e mom we are in a program so many things are waived. We paid for out own homestudy which was about 2500 plus fingerprinting that is in ca so we get to pay extra on most things :). Our agency gives all money back if e mom decides to parent. That being said I know most dont so I would be cautious if you dont have a ton of extra money how much goes out. Hosptial you are right your insurance should cover baby and e mom normally is covered but not always. E mom expenses are completely optional and from checking around most agencies reccommend to start around 2000. Legal fees also when I asked they said most cost around 5000 but depends alot on the state and their requirments. And then comes travel if not adopting from your own state. One last thing The tax credit you get as much as you pay in taxes so if you not on the high end you may not be able to use the whole credit I am not really sure how it works but Double check on the ins and outs. I am personally going to be happy for any money that comes back but not depending on it. So for us with our budget currently at 17000 (we may change it ) about 3000 for fingerpring and homestudy stuff and I am saving 10000 for travel (there will be 4 as we have 2 bio boys) I am estimating it will end up costing around 30000 out of pocket. And again we do not pay for agency activation and profile fees ect due to the program we are in. One last thing as this is getting long. If you are on a strict budget check around for an agency that is clear on all fees. I know our is not the cheapest but I spoke with some that had alot of unknowns and that is worse than knowing ahead I think.

It annoys me when an agency says their fee covers everything but then they say it's extra for finalization, extra for interim care, extra for bmom counseling, etc. That means their fee does not cover everything! I think a lot of them do that to make it sound more affordable but when you start adding it all up, sometimes an agency with a larger fee that really does cover everything is a better "deal".I would put whatever you can afford and/or are willing to pay in those categories. If you can't afford to pay more than the placement fee and legal fees, put zero in those categories. I would talk closely with the agency to make sure that they think there will still be situations that will fit within your budget. If almost all of the emoms that come to them need living expenses and most of the babies that come into their care have to go to interim care, those expenses add up and would put those situations out of your range. If most of their situations are beyond your budget, you might keep researching agencies. With one place we signed up with, we put a range of what we could afford knowing that a lot of their situations wouldn't be w/i that range, but it was what we could afford. The agency should not contact you about situations that are outside of your budget (maybe if it's just a hair above) because that puts crazy emotional pressure on you-you want a baby and if you can just pay 5K more, you can have it. That's so wrong. I would just ask them point blank if they get situations within your budget.It's also okay if you aren't comfortable paying emom/parent expenses. Some agencies will "roll over" your money to another situation if your match falls through (emom decides to parent) but be sure to find out what this agency does in that situation. Because if that happens, then you are sort of bound to that agency because they have a large sum of your money. Some agencies require a non-refundable deposit but the rest is due at placement. There is a lot of controversy surrounded paying emom expenses. Some people think it's okay to pay medical and legal but not living and each state has laws regarding paying expenses. If you just can't risk paying emom expenses and losing that money, it's okay to say that. You may lose out on some situations but that's just how it works. It's totally okay to be concerned about the money! We are talking about a lot of money, sometimes a person's salary for a whole year-so don't feel bad or like you are making it about the money. And I would research the credit a little more. Agencies love to talk about that tax credit as if you just get a refund from the IRS!Good luck!

One thing that I liked about our agency is that they only charged a flat fee (even though it was ALOT) and they only charged that fee postplacement. Honestly, all of the things that "aren't" covered could add up quickly. If you haven't signed anything yet, is it possible to look around for an agency that doesn't charge so much "upfront?" My experience is that that is tough for some people and it may result in waiting longer, etc. GOOD LUCK!!!

Okay, I just spoke with the agency. First of all, they said it is very rare for one of their birth mothers to require those fees to be covered (ie: medical, living, etc). The agency has donors who help with that. They said some situations fall in that category, but they are rare and it wasn't necessary to put that you were willing to pay these things if you cannot afford it. She said it's been years since they had a situation where the asked the adoptive parents to pay those fees. Also, I spoke with someone who adopted through them, only took a few months by the way, and they put down zero for those fees. Second, the $12,500 covers all but finalization fees and you do not pay the mother's legal fees at all. That is also something the agency takes care of or has a donor matched to the mother to pay for it. The legal fees aren't a big deal as my mom is a paralegal and is good friends with the paralegal and lawyer that would handle our finalization. He's the best in the state, by multiple sources, and is willing to cut us a deal on the costs. All in all, I think this agency is the way to go. Oh, and also, you pay the application fee of $500, $1500 total for homestudy, and the rest is not due until TPR. If something happens and the mom decides to parent and you've already paid your fee, the money rolls over to another situation and you don't lose anything. That's my main worry, losing the money. I know that the tax credit isn't a refund, wish it was, but from talking with a tax attorney, we would likely get most of the money back in the form of a refund, so we'll see. I'm not counting on it, but anything we get back will be nice.