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Our story is long, but our faith is strong.
In short, we met a birthmom last April and spent 5 weeks driving back and forth between home and her home town to spend time with her, her husband and her other 3 children. Needless to say, we got close. We were there for the birth of what we thought was our baby girl. My husband even cut the cord and the bm congratulated us on being parents. She signed the birth certificate with our name and told us she was so happy we were going to be the baby's parents. The agency was not ever there when we needed, but strangely...they showed up in the final hours, left us alone in a hospital room for over 3 hours and then walked in and told us to go home...that the baby was not ours anymore. Hours later, they gave her to another couple waiting in the wings and kept thousands of dollars of our money. We are heartbroken, but steadfast. They will not respond to our lawyers letters asking for our money back and have posted pics of the baby on the internet with her forever family wearing an outfit we bought her. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? We are thankful to have found a new agency, but need help in knowing how to shut this agency down.
Dickons
I think the mother commited fraud by signing the potential adoptive parents last name to the child. If she also listed the potential adoptive parents names as the parents then it is absolutely fraud and you were party to that.
That is not how adoption is done. Only a court of law has the right to create a legal fiction (and yes that is the correct term) that deems someone who did not give birth to the child as the mother who gave birth etc...
Chances are that is why the director of the agency changed directions mid stream. The agency should have be more proactive in insuring everything was done right as they know the laws governing adoption and are the professionals.
Kind regards,
Dickons
I believe in part of this there was statement saying she gave the child the name that aparents chose. not saaid they were bparents. so its no fraud as the bmom has the legal right ot give child any name even if someoen else picked it. Doent soudn like they were signed as bparents anywhere on there, just rather then a bcert with one name and bmom it be same name each cert just one has bparents one has aparents.
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Dickons
I think the mother commited fraud by signing the potential adoptive parents last name to the child. If she also listed the potential adoptive parents names as the parents then it is absolutely fraud and you were party to that.
That is not how adoption is done. Only a court of law has the right to create a legal fiction (and yes that is the correct term) that deems someone who did not give birth to the child as the mother who gave birth etc...
Chances are that is why the director of the agency changed directions mid stream. The agency should have be more proactive in insuring everything was done right as they know the laws governing adoption and are the professionals.
Kind regards,
Dickons
I believe in part of this there was statement saying she gave the child the name that aparents chose. not saaid they were bparents. so its no fraud as the bmom has the legal right ot give child any name even if someoen else picked it. Doent soudn like they were signed as bparents anywhere on there, just rather then a bcert with one name and bmom it be same name each cert just one has bparents one has aparents.
If the child's original birth certificate lists the adoptive parents' surname as his/her own, then it is fraudulent. If we're just talking about the first and middle names, then that's fine and dandy...but the surname has to be either the natural mother's or the natural father's, according to whatever state laws are in governance.
This whole thing sounds really strange to me. I'd love to know more....
RavenSong
If the child's original birth certificate lists the adoptive parents' surname as his/her own, then it is fraudulent. If we're just talking about the first and middle names, then that's fine and dandy...but the surname has to be either the natural mother's or the natural father's, according to whatever state laws are in governance.
The original poster is from Texas. Assuming the baby was also born in Texas, then it would not be fraudulent. Texas law does not require that the baby's surname be the same as the natural mother's or father's. Parents can choose any surname they wish.
Because I knew there would be cyncical people on this post, it took me 6 months to write all of this. THis has been a very tough road and I really find it heartless for someone to insinuate ANY of this was our fault. WE did not commit fraud. period. We are law abidding people, and would never do anything illegal to get a baby. That baby girl was obviously not ours! The birthmom did what she wanted to, including pull the wool over all of our eyes. Yet the simple fact remains that the agency acted irresponsibly and unethically. We are NOT suing the new parents. That's not even a possibility. They are good people who, as far as we know, have nothing to do with this.
If you want further proof that this was fraud on the agency's part...how about this information. They closed their website this week and their offices without notifying current clients, moved down the street and re-opened under a new name! Sounds like guilt to me! I have a friend still stuck with this agency becuase of a no-refund policy that is now out $15 K !
Honestly, this is a case of a couple who only THOUGHT they were well educated on the process of how to adopt, but picked the wrong agency and was left to fend for themselves, and an agency masquerading as a good Christian agency that places babies with waiting couples. This should NEVER happen to anyone!
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Longing2bMom
The original poster is from Texas. Assuming the baby was also born in Texas, then it would not be fraudulent. Texas law does not require that the baby's surname be the same as the natural mother's or father's. Parents can choose any surname they wish.
Would love to see that specific law - do you have a link?
Kind regards,
Dickons
Its disapointing that they can shut down move and under dif name so easily, shoudl be reported to the state that they movesd changed name but these issues still are unresolved with them and see if they cant at least be closely monitored fromt he start.
AS TO THE FRAUD the director came in at the birth. which would be difficult for them to say hey the bmom messed up here by giving kid your last name, because of the time takes for the vert to reach back to director. Also to get the other aparents there this takes preplanning and malice intent so nothign else here matters as to the actions of the agency. agency was wrong and should be shut down all higher up in it should be banned from ever workign in adoption again.
Dickons, I PMed you a link which shows that TX does not require either biological parent's surname to be given to the baby on a birth certificate. In any event, I am pretty sure it's the hospital that asks the mom to fill out a birth certificate...the a parents don't get to do that, I am sure you know.
Faith, what a horrible situation. I am so sorry you are going through this and have been accused on fraud. Makes me sad that you haven't gotten total support here. Hang in there and keep going after these jerks....I hope your baby finds you soon.
Thanks for the link Loveajax,
I am disturbed that you can use a different surname than one of the parents. I wonder how many other states allow that.
Faithisstrong, I am glad in your case that the laws in Texas allow a different surname to be given to the child so that you were not a party to any fraud commited by the mother. I apologise for any hurt I may have caused you.
Kind regards,
Dickons
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I am so outraged for you on so many fronts! There has got to be some accountability from the agency for what they have done to you. I kept reading hoping that possibly this was all one big misunderstanding. And then for anyone to think you were party to fraud is beyond me... That was certainly not a conclusion anyone could responsibly jump to with the information you provided. Please know that the vast majority here stand behind you and support you!! And when your baby makes it to your arms forever, we'd like to share in that joy too :)
Dickons- my understanding is that if not all States in the US it's the vast majority. You can put literally any name on the birth certificate for your child that you want. My understanding is that goes for Canada, Britain, & Australia too.
This question comes up incredibly often over on my Pregnancy & Parenting boards, usually by Mom's that are PO'd at their "Baby Daddy" (for whatever reason), looking at being a single Mom, are not married, or trying to escape a bad relationship.
Dickon: It is not generally known, but you can put just about any surname on a birth certificate. For example, Jack Jones and Mary Smith have a baby. They could legally name it:
Jane Jones
Jane Smith
Jane Smith-Jones
Jane Jones-Smith
Jane Smoneth
Jane Obama
What you cannot do is list a man other than your husband as the father of your baby without his written consent (signature on the birth certificate).
So you can name your child Elvis Presley Jr but you can't list Elvis as the father. And no, I am not being ridiculous. I taught Elvis Presley Jr.
Faith...hugs to you. I can only imagine how painful this has been for you and your family. I hope your baby comes to your arms soon.
Maybe contact Dateline NBC about this company?
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Thank you everyone for your thoughts on all of this. To quote one of you, YES..it is a "strange" story and one that you don't really ever hear...at least not this way.
The latest is that the agency has now refused to refund us any money and verbally threatened us if we take this to the news or state. Shame, shame. The sad part is that here in TX no one at the state level seems to know who handles complaints against adoption agencies. I pray we get through to someone who will help. If any of you want to know which agency this was, write me in private please. While I respect the administrator of this site's rules, I think it's important that adoptive parents protect one another as they can from this ever happening again.
On a final note for the evening...it's 2010 and God is BIGGER than all of this mess! Thankfully, we are moving forward with a new agency and a new hope! Prayers are with you all in each of your journeys!
OMG, your story is heartbreaking!!
iam so sorry for your loss.
i would get the Press involved!
Shame on Bmom for taking your money and putting you thru this:mad: