Looking for something solid

I honestly don't know of any research; others may. (I know there is a book entitled "The Primal Wound." Most of what we see here is anecdotal. We also have adoptees who post who are perfectly contented with the families they grew up in and choose not to look for their birth parents. What is your story? You sound like you have made a decision to relinquish your child for adoption.

You can try Joe soll at adoptioncrossroads.org - he does a live chat every night at 11 Eastern Time - he is an adopted person who is also a psychotherapist and an author on the subject of reunion - one thing is sure about adoption, however, once you lose your legal rights to your child, you will simultaneously lose all influence and/or control in his life as well. good luck, best FC

There is a longitudinal study on open adoption here. [url=http://www.cehd.umn.edu/fsos/Centers/mtarp/]Minnesota-Texas Adoption Researc[/url] The Search Institute also has a study on adoptees.

I must say, I know there is so much out there on the effects of adoption on the adoptee. In conjunction with your statement Bromanchik, their should be a longitudinal study on Birthmothers throughout their lifetime. We are the sooo forgotten ones, as if we were 'phantom' women - to be forgotten, pushed aside and kept a secret in society. I am Tired of being neglected in the adoption triad AS A STUDY. Why not study us. Wish there were a longitudinal study on birthmothers in the Massachusetts - New England area. Anyone agree or want to get on this?

The MN/TX study actually has a birthmother component.

I highly recommend that you read the book "The Primal Wound" prior to making your decision to relinquish. I wish I had over 16 years ago when I relinquished my daughter. If there is one piece of advice I could give to mothers who are considering adoption for their child, it would be to read the book.

I heard this article a while back:[url=http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16572430]Study: Adoption Not Harmful to Child's Self-Esteem : NPR[/url]I hope that whatever decision you make turns out to be the right one.-Kevin

From what I've read, a lot of those adoptions were closed, and from a time when that was completely the norm. The mothers sometimes never even got to hold their babies, they were just whisked away immediately and they were left not knowing if they would ever hear anything about them again. And as for the adopted children, most likely the people who adopted them knew next to nothing about the birthparents, and in those days there was a stigma about adoption--you just didn't talk about it. I imagine that would create a lot of hurt and confusion and so many potential problems down the road for everyone involved. Nowadays adoptions are mostly open, and a lot of people keep in close contact after the birth of the baby. I guess it all depends on the individual situations and experiences. I would advise you to speak to a counselor or therapist, preferably someone independent from any agencies or groups with an interest in either side of the equation(parenting or placing)...you should be able to confide in someone with absolutely no agenda. You are facing a HUGE decision, and my heart goes out to you! I hope you find the answers you are looking for.