My first time on here...I joined because I am trying to get help

I have two children by the same father. They are now 4 and 7. Before I got pregnant, way before I had some problems with addiction. I decided to get clean and in that process met their father, whom was a recovering alcoholic. He was always fine, until he drank. Long story short...he has been in and out of jail. I lived with my parents raising the kids but then relapsed. To get my stuff back together I moved about 1-1/2 hours away. I left the kids at my parents but still stayed in contact and had them for visists sometimes for 10 days at a time. But my parents wanted to adopt them to get the birth father out of their lives...he had not seen them in years but did write. I at first agreed but at the last min. changed my mind. My parents said they would withdraw it...so I believed them I should not have. The adoption went through...but I was not at court I know it would not have if I was there (I would hope so I have had constant contact did not miss a holiday, a birthday, a dance recital... I was under the impression that the petition was being withdrawn is their an appeal process for this?