Wanting to Adopt Post-Disaster

While I can totally feel you want to help a child that has possibly experianced great loss, the other posters are right in what they are saying. I'm sure you certainly didn't mean to spirit a child away from parents, but consider what happened even here with New Orleans, how many families ended up in various places and how long it took to locate everyone. What I will add is this-if you are truly interested in adopting a child that needs you, you might consider the US foster system (NOT to disrregard international adoption either, there are kids all over the world that need families). I came across a sib group of three adorable little ones that seem to be in the foster system because of the death of a fmaily member(s) (while it doesn't state that in photo listings, the description was pretty clear when it stated the type of counciling, etc). I know the idea of adopting kids form the foster system scares people because they think those kids are difficult or somehow bad kids, realize that most of them are probably going to be experiancing many of the same types of problems children from another country that lost parents will be. It is something to think long and hard about, because any child, newly orphaned or living their lives in an orphanage or foster system will have emotional issues if not developmental and physical. They have experianced great trauma. It won't be like having a child of your own that is just born older, they come with a history (be it a loving family that was suddenly taken from them or neglect or abuse). They had a family before you, there are things that happened that you can't change and you weren't there to prevent (no matter how desperately you wish you were). Read stories here from adoptive parents. There are great moments, bad ones and ugly ones. Talk about things from what you will do if they don't want to call you mom and dad, how you will honor their past if they need or want that, how you will help them heal and understand they really can trust you. I should say that DH and I aren't adoptive parents (yet) or adoptees. This is something we have discussed, and I've stalked these and other forums, read stories, photo listings and more. The above is IMO only and just based on what I've "observed" and picked up.

I know the process and all the stuff spoken, yet I understand the feelings. When I see these children crying on TV, my mother's heart just wants to gather them up and love them. I think that is an automatic reaction for compassionate people. Perhaps, now that this situation has opened your eyes to the plight of children orphaned, you can look into taking in a child in need through your local foster care agency or look at other countries, like Ethiopia.

i agree. i have a heart for those littles ones, too.....but i believe it will be a while before the children in haiti who are found to truly need a family will be adoptable. even then, the process was already taking current families 2-3 years to complete the process to bring their children home. in the meantime, educate yourself about adoption. welcome to adoption.com by the way. :) maybe you will find another country as an alternative, or maybe you can just get prepared for when haiti reopens for adoption. the need was great before the disaster, i can't imagine the need won't be there when they are ready to reopen....but i do believe it will be a while.

I am going to also chime in about the beauty of adopting from foster care. There are children in need all over the world and the Haitian situation is tragic, but here at home little ones are suffering and need homes. Some of them are just waiting and praying for a family.My two beautiful daughters were adopted from foster care, they are perfect and amazing (well um...at least that's what I think)

It's alot of information, yet its all valuable. We are pretty ignorant to the process- domestic or international. Thank you to everyone and we will be patient and do more research.

If your heart is leading your towards adoption, keep reading and keep posting. We were all newbies once too. :) Good luck!

The Department of Homeland Security posted a letter concerning adoption of Haitian orphans which seems to infer that such adoptions will be expedited. Of coure, I am very new to the adoption process, so please correct me if I am wrong. That being said, is there a need for foster families to care for and feed these poor children. Is there a need and a program for families who are willing to help these poor kids, even if only on a temporary basis? [url=http://www.adoption.com/haiti-disaster-january-2010/]Haiti Orphan Information, Donate to Haiti, Haiti Relief[/url]

i was ignorant when i started too.....but now that i have adopted 5 and have spent a few years here at adoption.com reading everyone's stories, i can honestly say i finally know something. lol. it still isn't much....i think adoption is a process where you are in a constant state of learning and growing...and that is okay. take some time to read around here on different boards to see if adoption is right for you, and if so, which path you'd like to take. it is alot to take in...so take your time...and when you feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of information, just know that is completely normal. :)

i believe i read in one of the areas where the children have gone...they will be using group homes and homes already licensed as foster homes through the state to foster the children until they can unite with their adoptive families (that they have already been matched to) or return to Haiti. i believe when they say adoptions will be expedited they are referring to those children who were already matched and in process with families. i do not think they are talking about children newly orphaned or children who were already orphaned, but not in the adoption process with a family. from what i understand, those children are not available for adoption at this time.

The DOS/Homeland Security can't make that decision - under Haiti law, all adoptions must be finalized in Haiti before the child can leave - as such, Haiti would have to make that decision.I know the DOS/USCIS is working hard to bring the children with already completed adoptions (who were awaiting final paperwork/visas from the US side) home to their American parents - but at this time, there has been no indication that new adoptions will be processed.Any children coming to the US now who weren't in the process of being adopted prior to the disaster, will be coming for a 'short term' stay - not for adoption.

There are some children whose adoption processes were completed or nearly completed before the recent events. As you probably know, adoption from Haiti was going on before the disaster. The U.S. government has indicated that it will do everything possible to get them home, once there is a final determination by the Haitian government that there are no new circumstances precluding their adoption, that their adoptions are final, and that they are free to travel. No other children are likely to be adopted and brought to the U.S. for a good while. As Brandy said, if a child needs medical treatment that is not available within Haiti at this point, an organization may be able to provide the funds to have him/her treated in the U.S., but he/she will be expected to return to Haiti afterwards. Sharon

Beautifully said, Sharon. I also understand that while looking at these images on tv that this might be the gut reaction - but I also believe that adoption should NEVER take place from a gut reaction, pity or "wanting to help". These emotions won't sustain you over the long haul - and as most of us here can attest - adoption is a long haul if there ever was one! These kids have been traumatized - and traumatized kids means trauma behaviours. This is very similar to what happened in Romania is the 80's when families were adopting post-war Romanian children out of pity...many of them ended up in foster care where the adoptive parents realized the reality of parenting kids who have been through multiple traumas like war, disaster, etc. That isn't to say you shouldn't adopt - maybe this awful situation awakened something in you that you could begin researching. But stability, good governance and good infrastructure is essential to ethical adoptions - something which is severly lacking in traumatized Haiti right now.

Speaking from experience, adopting a child brought to the US for a reason OTHER THAN a complete bona-fide legal adoption is a FREAKING NIGHTMARE. Our daughter Maya was brought from Cambodia to the US under a humanitarian visa for emergency medical needs. Adopting her legally both in Cambodia and in the US and getting her citizenship straight was a several year process requiring the intervention of our Senator's office. Believe me, I'm one of those who would love to bring one of those babies home! But like others have said more eloquently than I, lets think long and hard about the best way for us to help these people.

While I agree with previous comments about seeking to adopt a young victim of the recent tragedy, it seems to me that adopting Haitian kids who were already in orphanages prior to this tragedy would free up resources to provide relief to those who are newly orphaned/displaced. That said, I could see why the country might not be able to devote resources to any adoptions at this time. I just hope that support for the existing orphanages and other child relief organizations is being accessed timely and used effectively. It's especially hard to see the pain and suffering, knowing there are so many who are trying to help.

Among the reasons this is not advisable, is the fact that many of the children in orphanages are there due to their family's poverty, and not because they have no parents and are cleared for adoption.