Advertisements
we really want to adopt, and we went with an agency and go approved to adopt through foster care, they are telling us that if we want to adopt yonger children (under 7) or even sibling groups (up to 3 kids) that are under age 7, that we have to do foster to adopt. well we agreed to try it, and they asked us about doing respite to get to know a sibling group of two that are foster children right now, but they are looking for a pre adoptive home because the court thinks that they might not go back to their birth family, so we agreed and we did a weekend respite, now we are waiting to see if they will be moving into our home. now they tell us that the younger child has a good chance to be returned to her father. in all honesty i don't know how i am going to take it if they move in and then they are taken from me, that is why we didn't want to do foster care in the first place. we are now talking about, if this falls through trying a infant adoption program. any suggestions of good agencies that offer reasonable rates on infant adoption? the agency that we are with charges $15,500.00 to adopt an infant, and that seems like so much money, are there any ways to adopt without paying that much? also, i heard that there are ways to find a birthmother yourself, and then you could just hire a lawyer to finalize the adoption, how do you actually find a bmom yourself? any help would be great. thanks
Like
Share
On an episode of Adoption Story, one of the families said that they sent letters out to everyone they knew and ask them to spread the word that they wanted to adopt. Turns out a friend of a friend had a relative who wanted to place her unborn baby. The couple ended up adopting the baby and it was less expensive than going through agencies and such. It is a long shot but could be a way to go. Also, I think there are websites that others use to find babies that are already born. Not sure of them but maybe some else will send you them in a PM. Good luck, the waiting is NO FUN!
Advertisements
I too didn't want to do fostering for the same reason..I felt as if I was being pushed into doing fostering and respite and our agency literally made us feel bad looking at children who were adoptable and it was even worse asking to look out of state as they were really mad then at us for sure. I can say with all honesty that I never thought they wanted to place us ever...we were more useful to them doing fostering and respite..the minute they found out we didn't want to do what they wanted..they dropped us...not that we truly were upset they did that...because in the end..they really were just wasting our time...but still it was sad to think...all the months of preparation only to have our agency get our hopes up high for nothing. TWO years of sitting by and wishing and hoping for a child to adopt only to come out of it all..with just the memory of how broken the system is really. This is not to say that your agency or someone else's can't be good and find you a child..but mine was just forcing something we knew wasn't right for our family onto us.... I can say both DH, and my 2 boys and I all agree that we feel like IF we could have found a child to adopt..we know we as a family would have loved that child and rallied around the whole situation with excitement and committed wholeheartedly to the new member of our family. But to foster a child who is having visitation with his birth parents 5 times a week and who is being whisked away for numerous appointments..all the while the child is stressed out beyond relief with us thinking the whole time..we know nothing about this child's issues, we likely will never be able to adopt him, and his sister's foster Mom insisted that SHE get both kids-blatantly in front of us...(kids were placed in 2 different foster homes) and we stood there in disbelief thinking then why are WE here, all and all...it was a real disaster emotionally for us. WE as a family felt ready and prepared to ADOPT..but to foster takes some serious time, patience and persistence...and though we could have done that for a child we COULD adopt...honestly to fall in love with a child and get attached and then say BYE..just wasn't something any of us were wanting to do. But then on the other side..to adopt domestically or internationally can be expensive...what DH and I are trying to figure out right now..HOW to do ourselves..but for us...IF we go the International route..at least we CAN adopt...not go on a never ending maze where there seems to be no end...and honestly I feel like the amount of money it takes to do that will be well worth it..to find OUR child...with fostering its a gamble...and an emotional one at that...that said..if you feel it in your heart that you want to adopt..don't give up...some way, some how..you will find your child..you will find a way to get there....Good Luck!